Panic attacks.

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I lost my freaking mind for an hour or something last night. PTSD is a grind.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Panic attacks are uncool.
Hope you managed to come back together ok.

Thanks, I would ehug everyone here but I fear my vibes are too weird.

I can't work out how on earth I can feel & act normal with this in the background. If I slipped I would be loony binned in ten minutes.

I'm very elaborately concealed.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I have to wonder if this will just happen at random any time I should be sleeping.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Was it like a sleep paralysis?

Well I get that too but this is more like the worst kind of lunacy. It's just hours of stark raving terrified me, not exactly because of stuff I've been through but due to the effects of that on the future.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

A lot of people latent mental health issues surface at the end of the twenties, aren't you that age? My friends urged me to lay off the weed when I was 28 but I ignored them and ended up being sectioned. You're holding a lot down and interacting with people at work too, have you tried staying straight for a couple of days? It might be a little dull but you might also find that you thinking becomes less involved and less complex.

I'm 25 but at least detoxing isn't really an issue, I either go down to smoking tiny bits or none at all depending on where I am. I also drink a lot of tea & eat my crazy pills like a good little Orwellian. I feel like I've been typecast as erratic & violent when I'm actually just emotionally exhausted.

I use Marijuana for any number of medical things. I just scored some 70% CBD concentrates. I'll grant you that I wouldn't rule it out as a factors but this is about a cognitive exploration of my past, not what I should & shouldn't experience by mind altering methods. If plants force me to deal with something distasteful, perhaps that's for the best. I also cannot prosper by way of simplifying my thoughts, I work with software engineering teams & I'm trying to curtail enough social anxiety to have a life on the side.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I didn't mean to preach, I used to work in the weed business when it was first decriminalized in Switzerland twenty years ago and would handling KGs of it every day. The rest of my time was spent in front of my computer programming music or socializing. Eventually, I started to relate everything outside back to myself and became agitated and erratic. About ten years ago I took my first prolonged break from pot and did 2 x yoga classes a day for a couple of months and noticed that my thinking gradually becoming clearer and less involved. Sorry if I'm barking up the wrong tree and none of this is of any relevance.

so ptsd, hmm cberg. sorry for getting here late(
ok. so. i've stated in a number of threads, that subsiding s**t like that requires to not be alone. doesnt matter if there is another ADULT person next to u physically, or u are connected with them via net, but there has to be a presence. somebody aware and willing to help. voice comms help me a LOT in this. playing mmo like there is no tomorrow. highly dynamic picture, a lot of sound which i can adjust in volum, and company of ppl, even if we all hide behing our game avatars, its still live persons. ofc that might not suit u, but whtever u do, dont be alone. phone calls, dischord connects, whatever. offered u multiple times to join a specific channel made for ppl with problems like this. another person with ptsd just might have a good idea or few, what to do for u to dig u out. sorry, im so f*****g incoherent today. im worried about u. im worried u be alone when it hits again, getting out on ur own is a real, real b***h. i know it too well. i cant help u if u dont take my help(

Oh my mistake I'm not exactly used to Discord, I can log in on my phone whenever though. On the plus side I usually have that covered in one way or another. I guess I'll try & remember to stop by my thread here instead of going completely bonkers.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

we all do that. wont even mention the amount of work my friends have to do about mine at this time xD
dischord is currently best communication tool there is on the market, but thats ofc imo. we on mine mostly use text channels, tho, due to my inability to understand spoken speech half the time. (ya i just sit there listening to somebody speaking, makes me feel better. but then they have to also type it for me)
sorry, im in s**t state and too incoherent(

I think it might be a good idea to try & keep this stuff in writing. I'm no good at referring back to things people said verbally because of the temptation to read into their language a second time.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

ya thats why i keep important info, and bulk of my communication overall, in written.apart from my problems with vocal stuff. can be revisited, and sometimes understood better.

I think I get confused in chats & SMS for the same reason.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos