ASDers with partners, how did you meet?

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ToughDiamond
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08 Jan 2019, 2:23 am

A lot of ASDers seem to dislike the stereotyped places where couples form and the ways in which they get into relationships. So if you have / had a relationship, how did it begin? Stereotype party / bar / standard flirting & dating, or something off the conventional beaten track?



Raleigh
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08 Jan 2019, 2:32 am

In the street.


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nick007
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08 Jan 2019, 3:51 am

I met both my exes & current girlfriend on online forums. The ladder two were this one.


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Joe90
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08 Jan 2019, 5:53 am

On the bus, on my way to the shops.


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ToughDiamond
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08 Jan 2019, 5:57 am

1. I was in a youth club pantomime, she was in the audience and got her friend to tell me later that she'd taken a fancy to me. The friend was supposed to set up a meeting between us but before that could happen the girl decided to go out with somebody else. I was advised to go and see her so I went to her place and knocked on the door. She said she'd keep me in mind if it didn't work out with the other boy. It didn't, so we met up on a street corner near where she lived and spent most of the evening visiting a friend of hers.

2. I responded to an ad by a dating service and they sent me a name and address, we exchanged a few letters and eventually met at her parents' home.

3. At a party (!) By then I had a circle of friends who were all into underground music and the associated youth culture. I liked and trusted them quite well and was just about able to keep my head above water at the underground-style parties they held.

4. She happened to visit (out of the blue) a guy in the shared house I was living in, and we got talking.

5. At work. She was a colleague.

6. She visited a worker co-operative and community I was in, and we had a few laughs together, then she went home and wrote a letter inviting us all to visit her. I was the only one who wanted to visit her, so I went there alone. After I got back home she sent me a letter saying she wanted a relationship with me.

7. Newspaper "heart-to-heart" column.

8. Ditto

9. "Dating" service similar to the newspaper thing

10. In a music club that put on open-mic shows. We got thrown together because of a political wrangle in the club and started meeting up alone to talk about it.

11. An online support website for autism.



magz
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08 Jan 2019, 6:14 am

1. After-school music classes (yeah, I had a boyfriend as a teenager :mrgreen: )
2. Trekking club
3. Choir

But it's not unusual in the society I live in, my parents (rather NT... at least Mom) met in a trekking club, my brother (likely NT) married a fellow scout instructor (definitely NT), couples formed in choirs and church groups I used to attend... I don't know any couple that met the "standard" dating way. Maybe this is just how we do it in Eastern Europe.


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IsabellaLinton
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08 Jan 2019, 7:04 am

1. Summer job

2. Full-time career, although he didn't work there himself

3. Full-time career colleague (The same location as #2)

None of these relationships lasted, however.


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komamanga
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08 Jan 2019, 7:25 am

On a penpal site.
And I met my ex-boyfriend on a school trip to Cyprus.



Piobaire
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08 Jan 2019, 7:30 am

An ad I posted on Craig's List.



SpacePuppy
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08 Jan 2019, 9:44 am

We met at art college.


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RiverSeeker
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08 Jan 2019, 10:07 am

The partners I'm still with (I'm poly) I met because I was a regular at parties for a sexuality-focused subculture. The relationship with one of them developed gradually from seeing each other at parties to doing more and more with each other at the parties to deciding we'd like to just go get lunch and hang out, too. For the other, I was doing my standard "party where I don't know anybody" thing - dancing by myself in a corner, nevermind that it wasn't a dance party - and he approached me.

Other partners who haven't lasted:
1. Anime club organized an outing to some cool movies, he provided the ride
2. Subculture parties
3. Subculture parties
4. Tinder



Fern
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08 Jan 2019, 10:27 am

Going in reverse chronological order here.
Be judgmental if you will. I regret a nothing. 8)

1. grad school
2. the gym
3. online forum (not this one)
4. chance meeting while traveling to a foreign country
5. chance meeting while traveling to a foreign country
6. online dating site
7. grad school
8. grad school
9. grad school (obviously this began to make things complicated)
10. chance meeting while traveling to a foreign country
11. choir class
12. college
13. high school
14. high school

My current boyfriend (#1) and I have been an official couple for almost two years now. We started in what was mostly just a physical relationship, but we couldn't stop calling each other every day and found ourselves just wanting to be together constantly. Slowly we began to realize (ok, admittedly I was the slow one) that we were just really in love. The rest is history. I really hope we last, because I think it would be pretty great to spend my life with him.



SaveFerris
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08 Jan 2019, 10:57 am

Lived in the same house as me ( neighbour ).


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KingExplosionMurder
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08 Jan 2019, 11:21 am

my girlfriend and I have been friends since 4th grade, we experienced a lot together. From coming out as lesbians, to school drama and bullying. All of it. And we both have trouble understanding people so we got along really well. Last year we started talking again and she asked me out very awkwardly because we were talking about how much we wanted a girlfriend, and long story short we've been a couple for 8 months now. It's kind of long distance which sucks, but we still make it work out. It was kind of a thing that we both agree had been building up for a few years.
Sometimes, the people who you are most compatible with are right in front of you (figuratively) and are often the people you've really had a close bond with fro a long time. Of course that's just my experience, though.



kraftiekortie
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08 Jan 2019, 11:27 am

I met my fiancée in high school.

In subsequent years, I would be, in the vast majority of cases, be introduced by friends, or we would be co-workers.

I met a couple of lovers on the subway.



IsabellaLinton
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08 Jan 2019, 11:32 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I met my fiancée in high school.

In subsequent years, I would be, in the vast majority of cases, be introduced by friends, or we would be co-workers

I met a couple of lovers on the subway.


"I met my old lover
On the street last night..."
(Paul Simon --> Still Crazy)

Now this will be in my head all day! Thanks for the visual, korts!


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