Anime convention experience ended in failure

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Marknis
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15 Jan 2019, 10:23 pm

At the end of the previous year, a friend and I attended an anime convention to try to end the year out on a good note; I especially hoped for that. Unfortunately, I only ended up staying a day and this friend had to drive me home.

Even when we were standing in line to pick up our badges, I was feeling anxious about how the convention would go. No one judged me but I felt like the odd man out since I wasn't cosplaying and I didn't have any special skills like the other people were exhibiting. The anxiety got so bad that I couldn't even sleep in the hotel room.

I was trying to tell my mind that I was supposed to be enjoying the experience but it kept fighting against me. My mother's voice was in my head telling me I was wasting my time and the Bible Belt's voice was telling me I should be doing "manly" things like redneck behavior instead despite how a lot of things in anime and manga are "manly". Even when I did talk to others, the conversations would fizzle out and I would get left in the cold. I was glad to see girls my age engaging in cool things instead of trying to be "good girls" like most of the ones I've encountered in the culture I live in but they already had company with them or boyfriends.

2018 ended in failure just like every year before. :(



BeaArthur
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15 Jan 2019, 10:53 pm

I have a serious question, Mark, and it is not meant as a put-down. I hope you will think and try to answer it.

Why do you always post such depressing stuff? Doesn't it actually depress you more?

I mean, I get that you are depressed. But it seems like you wallow in it. Are you hoping someone will give you a little attention? Even if they do, you just insist there is no hope.

I think you should start posting uplifting things or even emotionally neutral things, perhaps in News and Current Events, or Random. Try to get conversations going. Engage in a little back-and-forth. After a month like that, see if you don't feel a little better.

Or is your entire experience wrapped up in how unhappy you are?


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Raleigh
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15 Jan 2019, 11:09 pm

I don't view it as a failure.
You went to a convention with a friend, you spoke with people, you derived pleasure from watching others enjoy themselves.

I read a book recently about how the brain is hardwired to focus on the negative.
This developed for survival purposes, because negative experiences are more likely to require a fight, flight or freeze response, even though that rarely happens in these less caveman like times.

It suggested when reviewing an experience such as you described to try and look for ANY positives and focus on the emotion connected with that for several minutes in order to train the brain to shift towards positive focus.

It was an interesting book, it's called Hardwiring Happiness by Rich Hansen.
A bit overly positive in some places for an emo such as myself, but it did give me something to think about.


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Zinnia86
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24 Jan 2019, 11:49 pm

I like manga and anime too. I've thought about going to conventions but always rejected the idea because I would have to go on my own or with strangers and that idea by itself is terrifying. So I say way to go you that you even made it a single day there.



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25 Jan 2019, 1:36 am

Sweet Pea hugs :P


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AprilR
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25 Jan 2019, 2:17 pm

I remember going to a cosplay party years ago and not talking to anybody besides the friend i went with. It's okay to be stressed you can't really help it. Don't beat yourself up.



hurtloam
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25 Jan 2019, 2:21 pm

Raleigh wrote:
I don't view it as a failure.
You went to a convention with a friend, you spoke with people, you derived pleasure from watching others enjoy themselves.

I read a book recently about how the brain is hardwired to focus on the negative.
This developed for survival purposes, because negative experiences are more likely to require a fight, flight or freeze response, even though that rarely happens in these less caveman like times.

It suggested when reviewing an experience such as you described to try and look for ANY positives and focus on the emotion connected with that for several minutes in order to train the brain to shift towards positive focus.

It was an interesting book, it's called Hardwiring Happiness by Rich Hansen.
A bit overly positive in some places for an emo such as myself, but it did give me something to think about.


I agree with this. I was going to say something similar.

It was a success. You went out and did something new and different.


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jimmy m
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25 Jan 2019, 2:37 pm

Word of advice: Next time go in costume. Become part of the fantasy.



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26 Jan 2019, 11:28 am

jimmy m wrote:
Word of advice: Next time go in costume. Become part of the fantasy.


If you do this, make sure to do proper research on the character you cosplay. Nothing gets you longer looks among cosplayers than not knowing facts and poses about your character (from my experience, at least.)



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26 Jan 2019, 12:28 pm

I would not call it a failure as you did get to interact with others. This gives you experiences to build upon should you ever decide to go again (something I recommend). I think you set your sights too high and was expecting too much the first time. If you go again, do not force yourself to have a set goal, just try to enjoy yourself. By not having expectations, it should decrease the pressure you feel. For the record, I have not been at an anime convention before, but have heard that they can be interesting to go to. I do go to comic cons when I can.



AquaineBay
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26 Jan 2019, 12:57 pm

What were some of the anime shows that people were talking about?

Dragon Ball Super, Naruto, Death Note, One Piece? I don't know many after that.
I don't watch anime myself but I have watched it when other people wanted to.



Marknis
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26 Jan 2019, 1:08 pm

AquaineBay wrote:
What were some of the anime shows that people were talking about?

Dragon Ball Super, Naruto, Death Note, One Piece? I don't know many after that.
I don't watch anime myself but I have watched it when other people wanted to.


Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia was the big thing. The fighting game for it was set up in the gaming hall and I got to join in on it. There was even a girl cosplaying as a gender bent Kirishima from that manga/anime and we did some matches. Unfortunately, she got up with her friends and left. :(



AquaineBay
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26 Jan 2019, 5:41 pm

Marknis wrote:
AquaineBay wrote:
What were some of the anime shows that people were talking about?

Dragon Ball Super, Naruto, Death Note, One Piece? I don't know many after that.
I don't watch anime myself but I have watched it when other people wanted to.


Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia was the big thing. The fighting game for it was set up in the gaming hall and I got to join in on it. There was even a girl cosplaying as a gender bent Kirishima from that manga/anime and we did some matches. Unfortunately, she got up with her friends and left. :(


I never heard of that one before. But it sounds like it would be pretty good since it was the main anime that was represented.

When that girl got up you could have initiated a conversation like "I had fun playing with you, is [insert character name here] your favorite character?" Or "That was a great game, I enjoyed that nice butt kicking!"(only if you lost of course.) That second one is a joke obviously, then you go and introduce yourself.



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31 Jan 2019, 6:01 am

The fact you had conversations with people and a friend to go with is better than I would have done, I would have stood alone looking creepy.