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youcameandchanged
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31 Jan 2019, 10:21 am

youcameandchanged wrote:
BTW, who else has felt torn between expressing their anger as part of their individuality and the fact that most manifestations of anger are not healthy? I only learned how to stop my anger at an age when my personality was halfway set, so I'm like this. Also, another problem would be that for a long time, I suppressed my individuality. I'm not like that anymore, but of course, this part of my individuality can't just be expressed freely and without control, but I also take suggestions that maybe I should change as people trying to control me yet again.

I can't be the only one who feels like this, right? My traumas were caused by suppressing my individuality, so these days, I am a fierce individualist. But of course, this specific part of my individuality actually has to be suppressed. However, the fact that I have to do that makes me feel like reality is proving my past haters right. People in the past wanted me to change everything about myself, so the mere suggestion that I should change some things about myself makes me feel oppressed or personally victimized or something.



funeralxempire
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15 Feb 2019, 1:41 pm

Yes, yes I do.

Less than when I was younger, I don't think I've entirely lost my s**t since I started following the advice a certain well-known doctor gave in The Next Episode. I've got a heavy bag that might disagree with that assessment, I'm pretty sure I hit it a couple hundred times a day, always with bare knuckles/no gloves.



Alterity
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15 Feb 2019, 10:24 pm

Often? No.

I've always been a pretty quiet person. I have times I've gotten mad, probably more as an adult, but I'm usually pretty controlled. Even when I do get angry I don't 'act out' and am more likely to seeth and have a nasty tone.


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Edna3362
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16 Feb 2019, 12:26 am

Yes. Perhaps most of my life that is.
As a child, I've known to be angry at the world. The anger is usually directed at myself nowadays, and those who are unlucky enough to get crossed by it. I'm not sure when exactly I get to tell my own anger apart because;

A part of anger IS me -- but most of it are resolved. It's controllable, can be channelled into productivity, and justifiable. Never did suppressed this as a child or, well, ever. Partially how it leads to diagnosis. I'm not even sure how and when I truly learnt or even had learnt how to control it because...

A part of anger isn't me, but it's mostly some hormonal reaction crap that needs to be fix within my system and easily mistaken with the former. Mostly uncontrollable, unwanted, cannot be channeled properly, unjustifiable as it comes out of nowhere except something is wrong. Easily passed off as a woman problem. :x


I'm far from being needy or expecting things my way. Most people would likely assume that -- but I expect the opposite of those assumptions. :x
If I happened to be at my balanced state, and accused me of said things, I can literally beat them off with words alone and convince those people otherwise. Can be compromised, can be reasoned with. Unlike the latter...
Those who accused me of those things while I'm not exactly at my balanced state, is just adding more fuel into the fire. Same assumptions and accusation goes when I choose to isolate myself -- when the real reason is not to get myself and others hurt, never wanting anyone to put up with it. Because there's no compromise here -- either I get hurt or others get hurt for the sake of 'getting along'. I seriously want to get rid of this, whatever this is, because at such state I'm also less competent in general.


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Kerguelia
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16 Feb 2019, 12:39 am

Yes, almost every day in fact, but I've learned to control it. People don't describe me as constantly angry anymore, so there's that.
Most of what causes me to get angry include injustices (to myself or to other people) and perceptions that others are trying to control me.



DemophobicKlingon
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01 Aug 2019, 4:55 am

I don't usually show people my angry side, but a lot of stuff gets bottled up inside. People may step on my toes, overstep boundaries, I get more internally angry than externally angry. I generally am a forgiving person but there are certain boundary crosses and things people can do and say that I struggle to let go of.

Doing artwork, listening to music that fits the situation is often helpful when the anger gets intense, it is intense but a lot of the more extreme thoughts, I keep to myself.

I have gotten to the point of exploding at times.


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