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Joined: 11 Sep 2018
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Location: New York City (Queens)

21 May 2019, 4:54 am

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:

That's been my experience anyway, that I tend to "click" or connect with people much more rarely than those around me, and the people I tend to click with are usually--for lack of a better term--spectrumy. Not always, but more often than not I would say in hindsight the people I tend to connect with are different in some way that makes them rare.

This has been my experience too.

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:

I believe that's at least a component of the social issues many of us have--how comparatively small our community is. I don't want to be simplistic and say it's all about odds, but I think that is a part of it.

I agree.

I've noticed that the men who complain the most on WP tend to live in rural areas, where the odds are indeed against them, both because of the male-female ratio in rural areas and, even more importantly, because there are fewer people in rural areas to begin with.

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Mona Pereth
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21 May 2019, 7:47 am

sly279 wrote:

Soulmates are a made up idea by marketing team.
Only humans who have value are datable those who aren’t spend their lives alone until they die only being used for services.

People don't exist on some absolute, linear scale of "value." What's valuable to one person might not be valuable to another. It is better to think more in terms of mutual compatibility than absolute "value."

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21 May 2019, 8:52 am

rdos wrote:

I don't think it is a good idea to seek partners based on similar interests, which includes geeky interests. It's so much better to create shared interests with somebody you like a lot, or even better, have a crush on.

With this I totally disagree. There needs to be more to a relationship than JUST shared interests, but, for me, shared interests have always been an absolutely essential starting point.

kraftiekortie
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21 May 2019, 9:01 am

To me, "common interests" already present are an essential component of any relationship.

Just "creating" common interests doesn't get the job done, from my viewpoint.

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21 May 2019, 9:29 am

cberg wrote:

Alita wrote:

I'm sad regarding the common impulse that we all need to add something to ourselves to be socially acceptable.

I don't really need much more than honest conversation from anyone in my life.

Agreed, instead of having to "add something to ourselves to be socially acceptable," it is much better to find the one-in-a-million people who are comfortable with our real selves. Alas the odds of finding such rare people are against you if you live out in the country where there are so few people to begin with. Perhaps you might consider moving to a more populated area for a while, then move out to the country later, after you find a compatible person willing to live with you?

Mona Pereth
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21 May 2019, 9:45 am

cberg wrote:

Well a lot of people have been telling me being smart means I'll be avoided by more or less everyone.
[...]
It's almost like being nerdy automatically makes me unattractive. :roll:

There certainly exist smart/nerdy women who appreciate an intellectual peer. I, for one, have always sought intellectual peers.

Mona Pereth
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21 May 2019, 10:20 am

sly279 wrote:

Most people see me as subhuman as I didn’t live up to societies demands. I’m not middle class, I don’t make good money, I can’t own a car, I’m not a real man

If at all possible you need to live someplace where not having a car doesn't matter. Alas that probably rules out most of the U.S.A. Is there any chance you could convince your parents to move to one of the NYC suburbs within easy walking distance of good public transportation?

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 21 May 2019, 10:55 am, edited 2 times in total.

kraftiekortie
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21 May 2019, 10:38 am

LOL...Kraftiekortie didn't say that!

Sly lives in Oregon, in a suburb of a medium-sized college city.

Mona Pereth
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21 May 2019, 10:59 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

LOL...Kraftiekortie didn't say that!

Fixed the quote. Sorry about that!

kraftiekortie wrote:

Sly lives in Oregon, in a suburb of a medium-sized college city.

Do you know what the public transportation is like there?

In any case, Sly has also said he lives in a place where he feels under pressure to engage in physically risky activities. That's another reason why he needs to move away, if at all possible.

kraftiekortie
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21 May 2019, 11:13 am

It’s not as good as New York’s public transportation.

cberg
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26 May 2019, 11:28 pm

Well I'm moving now. I might be borrowing a friend's truck to move a bed tonight. I suppose things are going alright considering I'll be closer to several people who know me better than most. I feel as shy as ever or even more though. I need to set more computers up to disappear into. At least I can keep them all on one screen where people know I can be found.

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Last bumped by cberg on 26 May 2019, 11:28 pm.

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