Questioning my diagnosis

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Hello,

To start out I want to say this is driving me crazy. I think about it constantly and I wish I could get a yes or no answer. I would like the answer to be yes, but I think that the fear of it being no is the thing I'm fixating over. The reason why I would like it to be yes is because I feel it would explain a lot about me, and why I’m stuck in my life. The thing that I’m talking about is if I have Asperger’s or not. My mental health doctor just diagnosed me with Asperger’s just a few weeks ago, and I thought that I would just let it go and it would become a part of me, I could learn from it, and learn how to live with it and perhaps get unstuck. But all I have done is worry that he misdiagnosed me.

The symptoms I do have are
Social awkwardness.
Poor eye contact.
Panic.
Depression.
Fear of new situations with new people.
Being repetitive.
Difficulty adapting when a plan majorly changes.
Stimming.
Having poor hygiene.
Being a picky eater.
Sensitivity to loud sounds.

The symptoms I don’t have.
Understanding basic body gestures.
Understanding basic sarcasm, I can even use it pretty naturally.
Having any special interests. This one is still a little unsure for me. I have always had a big fascination with movies, but I don’t know if that counts.
So what do you guys think?

The thing about the autism spectrum is we're all a little different. Someone may display a trait very strongly while another may not, or not have it all. From what you've said it sounds like you are one of us. You might even have more traits you aren't even aware of. If you feel it would explain much from your life and it sounds like you, then I think you should trust that and trust your therapist.

I would recommend asking the person who diagnosed you why said person did so and discuss your doubts with that clinition

You can tell us afterwords the proffessional said. We have people knowledgeable enough here to give an informed opinion on whether your diagnosis was problematic.

I'm definitely autistic with speech delay and your list describes me pretty well too. Although I've learned to force myself to brush my teeth and shower daily over time and I've learned to simulate normal eye contact and facial expression well. And I've learned to read body language and eye movement and tone of voice and understand metaphor and sarcasm too. I was diagnosed as a child and therapists kept bringing up me being autistic over years and years and I really struggled with that because I seemed sort of normal as long as I operated within certain limits (like no new situations, no new people or social situations). But when I went outside those limits, life could get really hard. What helped me come to acceptance of my autism was how much I related to certain folks on Wrong Planet, nearly maxxing out on online autism self-evaluations, reading The Autistic Brain by Grandin as well as a number of books on the neuroscience of autism. And I went to a support group that actually was over at the Temple Grandin School near Boulder for some time and I identified strongly with some of the folks going there. Eventually I realized my experience of life was quite different from neurologically typical folks - my sensory and emotional experiences and how I process social interactions is very different - but I had adapted to act pretty normally, so I could fool lots of folks and that contributed to my own denial. Mental health professionals and therapists helped me understand a lot too.

I'll try and take the advice given to me about talking to my doctor. To be honest I'm afraid too because I have a fear of people getting mad at me. But I'll try and do it. Talking with him is hard, when I'm with someone unfamiliar I have a very quiet very closed off persona. Even when I'm with people I do know I have a more open but still quiet persona. I wonder if that could be an autistic trait.

By the way, I live in utah and I'm wondering if anyone knows of any northern utah autistic support groups, I can't find much when I search on the internet.

I definitely relate to being quiet. I used to be pretty closed-off too, but over time that's changed some. I've found support groups before through MeetUp.com, through recommendations of therapists and counselors, and also through autism-related institutions (like the Temple Grandin school). Psychology Today also has searchable support groups - for example Ogden, Utah support groups can be found here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/grou ... m/ut/ogden

I tend struggle with that fear also. (I'm generally quiet too) In terms of a doctor/therapist though it's important to remember they are there to work for you. It is 100% their job to give you information about things pertaining to yourself. You are doing nothing wrong by inquiring and wanting explanations.

I find I am able to express things better in writing a lot. Do you think it might be easier to write what you to say/ask and then give that to them? Most will be flexible with these kinds of things.

I have a question about my behavior. So, I have two major personas, one is something I only do by myself, the other is what I act like when I'm around other people. The persona for when I'm alone is that I am very hyperactive, I scream I shout, I rock back and forth, I run around and pretend I'm on another world. Sometimes this can feel freeing, happy and exciting, other times I'm screaming and spinning and shaking my head really fast because I'm in distress. Most of these things are voluntary but some can feel very involuntary. In short, I can be a big mess when I'm alone. However, if I'm around others, like my mom or other family members, I'm quiet and closed off. I'm like the complete opposite of how I am when no one is around.

Does this sound like an autism trait or could it be something else I'm doing? This happens all the time, and it can be quite distressing for me when I'm around others and yet feel the need to scream and shout, it can be distressing when I'm alone as well.

I've learned to adapt over the years in some respects, especially considering I received speech and social skills intervention from a young age and am currently doing my best to work on my social skills and sensory issues. I think adapting in terms of social skills is a very common phenomenon in autistic people and it doesn't mean you're not autistic, especially since you've been professionally diagnosed. And I definitely behave differently when I'm alone as opposed to being shy around other people, I don't think that's unusual at all (even NTs behave differently in different situations).

I think I have adapted a lot over the years. I remember doing ritualistic things when I was a kid, i don't do that anymore. But I still have the same anxiety. I was actually hoping for someone to say that they did or do the same thing. There are times when I think I'm crazy because no one that I know of does the same thing I do when I'm alone.

Most people tend to have a public and a private persona, I expect that may be more so for Aspies. Especially those with anxiety. You sound a bit extreme from anything I've heard/experienced before though. You may have a co-morbid amplifying it, or it could be something simple as stress. If you're holding back when your with others, when you find yourself alone everything just lets go and so you get all bouncy.

That does make sense, the comorbid and the simply having stress. My doctor diagnosed me with more then Aspergers when I spoke with him. One of the big ones that I was first diagnosed with is GAD.

That's not unusual. I think most of us have a co occurring condition. Aspies will often also be given a string of different diagnoses before it's figured out they actually have Autism. You're lucky to not having to go through that. Anxiety is pretty common with Aspergers; I also have it.

I kind of did go through that. I was diagnosed with GAD by a therapist that for two years, almost three, missed any signs that I have Aspergers. I think that because she didn't see it for so long has now led me to doubt the diagnoses. She then gave me a book about Aspies and told me that she didn't think I had it. But after my mom began to read the book she started to notice that I had a lot of the traits talked about in the book. We then talked to another mental health doctor that I haven't been seeing for very long and he after talking with me and my mom nonchalantly said I have Aspergers. So that is why I'm doubting. My therapist now agrees that I have AS, but I'm still wondering why it took her so long to notice? And why didn't my other mental health doctor give me a test or something I took the online AQ test and got a 35 my first try, I also took the Aspie Quiz which gave me a 139 of 200. So the tests and doctors are saying that I have AS but I'm still not all the way sure.

I see, I mostly meant that you're lucky to have not been given a slew of misdiagnosis, some people get a lot and are 'treated for things they don't even have. Because this kind of thing does happen it's understandable for you or any one to be suspicious.

Those that specialize in the mental health field do know lot but they don't know everything. They're also human, so they can make mistakes or miss things at times. Most also tend to have an area of expertise, and primarily focus their learning within that sector. So they may know of something like Aspergers but lack the information to recognize the full spectrum of it. Some actually really don't like making diagnosis and others throw them out left and right. My point is there's many variables. Any of those variables could have played a part in her not seeing it. Heck Tony Attwood - known well for his knowledge on Aspergers missed it in his own son.

The evaluation tests aren't necessary for a diagnosis, but have been handy in helping to procure one. Sometimes. I'll use my Aspergers testing as an example. I was tested as a kid for it but the person administrating it said I was borderline, thus unwilling to say I had it. I had a therapist that said it was suspect but also wouldn't make a diagnosis. Flash forward to after highschool I went to the Autism authority in the state to be tested. I didn't even see the doctor - I got his assistant and her conclusion was I didn't have it. That I had a developing personality disorder, even though I've been this way my entire life The online Aspergers test you took is more comprehensive in asking about your history and how you feel about things than the tests I took from the officials. So there's an example of testing being unreliable. It doesn't help that there actually isn't a 'official' testing method for Aspergers, so going to different people might get you a different test.

I think you should be able to see a pattern in that a Aspergers diagnosis can be tricky. The best way for you to know is to keep looking into it. Find out if you largely see yourself identifying, if you read things and think "this sounds like me". Talk about with your current guy, talk about it with your parents - they likely have seen things you didn't even know about. I did lots of googling, read Blogs about personal experiences for Aspies. And it's okay if you're not 100% on board with it right now. It can take time to accept and embrace it

Hey Steven 7
I would say from what you have written in your initial post with regards to your symptoms
I would say, in my opinion that you do have Autism Spectrum Disorder of the Asperger Syndrome variety.

However, I am just a regular person who's knowledge is based on my own study and I am not a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist who specialises in Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I would recommend that you should ask the doctor who thinks you have ASD (includes Asperger Syndrome),
to send you to see a clinical psychologist who specialises in ASD.

I do not know how your health care system operates in the area that you live, however, in the UK, where I live.
Getting a diagnosis of ASD isn't a casual or easy affair, it takes considerable psychological evaluation as well as trained specialists to examine the medical history of the individual.

With regards to the traits, for diagnosis. The clinical Psychologist has to evaluate you using the official diagnostic criteria in order to ascertain whether the diagnosis fits or not.

They will look at your history, the circumstances of your birth, the milestones in your upbringing and not only your behaviourisms but how you interact with others, and what problems you have with various people / situations / circumstances and sensory information.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, having a diagnosis just helps you understand yourself better and get the support and protection that you may need especially in living and employment.

I also wouldn't worry too much about not completely fitting all the traits, as to be honest, I think that not fitting all the stereotypical traits isn't that uncommon. The sense of humour or understanding sarcasm can be a learnt trait
depending on what upbringing you had.

For example, when I was growing up, I had a naughty cheeky older brother, as well as parents / uncles etc.
that all had a good sense of humour and who all used a great deal of humour on a daily basis
especially my older brother, who's jokes often were very funny but much of the time aimed at me.

My father in particular, who loves kids and loves explaining things to kids in simple terms (a trait that he never gave up even when we got older.... but nevermind) must have explained humour to me, as it is something that I understand most the time and also use myself on a daily basis.

So I don't fit with that trait, but that's just one trait of an umbrella term that encompasses a number of disorders which includes a wide range of symptoms.

There is an old saying in support services about people with Autism.
If you have met one person with autism, then, you have met one person with autism.

Meaning that each person with Autism or ASD is completely different and that each of us exhibit a different pattern or paradigm of symptoms. Rarely to find 2 exactly the same. This is likely due to experience / upbringing but also due to the complex nature of the cause of ASD on the neural networks, which to be honest, is still a mystery to the people in the know.

Hope that helps
cheers
justin