Do People Get Angry Just To Feel Better About Themselves?

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I wish I could find a way to make people feel happy. I don't know why people have to use anger as a coping mechanism.

I use anger when I feel like things aren't fair. Sometimes, I get angry in response to anger.
I learned it's my go to secondary at these times.
I wish I could be happy more.
Often, life or some evil tries to get me down.

its not like ppl "use" anger. mostly they cant control it. and ya, they dont "have to" do that, its just our nature, certain situations cause certain reactions) which are different in magnitude in different ppl, but mostly remain the same. (such as, one person would rage, another person would just ghost it. but both would feel anger of different magnitude). correct me if im wrong)

I needed to learn to show anger.
It's important for self defense when I'm violated.
If I show anger, people learn to respect my boundaries.

I think some people use anger the same way other people cut themselves, or use other drugs, sure. I don't know exactly what this psychopathy is called, but I know people who do it. They instigate fights over trivial things to trigger an emotional response, which likely floods the brain with certain neurotransmitters.

Anger is an emotion that is very hard for me to control. I think most people will never understand that.

After a lot of questioning, I believe I can control it better now. It's 99% about my own environment and the people around me. Secondly it's being able to forget, not forgive. I can't forgive those whom have been awful to me. Everyday encounters, like someone being unusually annoyed at me for a polite request that 95% of people would be fine with, I can forget. That's easy.

Someone who goes out of their way to gaslight, or scapegoat me, and is horrible to me on purpose, and repeatedly - I can't forgive them, ever, and it's very unreasonable for them to expect me to. I don't have to forgive them. But, I have to forget them so I can control my anger and live my life. I have no choice. There are a lot of suppressed hurts inside of me.

You make interesting threads, Zack. So great a potential in so few words!

I may not be processing this accurately and will think about it some more, but I think that some people may in certain circumstances try to control others in certain situations by releasing feelings of anger they already may have bottled up within them. On some level this even seems to work but generally backfires, leading to even more suffering, and does not make anyone happy. I wrote on Wrong Planet awhile back about my boyfriend using anger to control. Another way people use anger is to block within themselves the experiencing of sorrow. This may be a little hard to understand.

Also, and to me even the possibility of accomplishing this is extraordinary, a profound use for anger is to transform it into a great compassion. I am not yet at the level of being able to do this, but I have at least had a small taste, and it is my aspiration to be able to transform my own anger.

Thanks. In the last two weeks since my boyfriend had the stroke and is hospitalized and is now in a short term nursing home before being moved to a board and care, I have actually experienced anger toward at least two people, and this was a real eye opener, as I thought I was past this. One of the people was a social worker in the hospital and the other is the real estate agent to his apartment. Plus I do not have friendly feeling toward many other people who are jiving and bull sh-tting me re my bf's care. I think what the real estate person did is actually worse, but I already was a bit detached because of my previous very violent feeling of anger toward the social worker, which anger I began to see as being about me, no matter what she did, and not really about her. I even felt a few moments of compassion, and then my mind did change (a little), and I will never be the same again or probably ever again feel anger to that degree again. Or maybe I will. Just had a flash about that---it is possible, so stay on ones toes. This is what I want to write about sometime, as I did have some kind of experience of transforming anger and must stay on this path.

The phone wires got crossed at the nursing home a few minutes ago when I was trying to call my bf, and I ended up talking to this 80 yr old woman named Donnie and telling her about my bf's rental situation--and she said something similar (to what could but I hope does not happen to him) did actually happen to her: she lost her apartment and all her stuff and the jewelry she loved to put her money into instead of the bank and collected piece by piece over the years and that it's taken her two years to get over the anger. or actually she is still working on the anger, I think, and it was two years to be able to walk with a walker, as she also had a stroke, except she was paralyzed on both sides. Today my bf told me that yesterday he felt sensation in his right arm for around five minutes, and I was filled with joy. (Today,nothing). I asked Donnie if she ever met him or if they left the room doors open and she saw him---a guy who's kind of short but big and stocky with reddish orange hair, and she said, oh, there's lots of them around here, which really cracked me up, and we had a good laugh. but after that our phones got disconnected. and I have no way to call her back. Then I finally did reach my bf, and he said the phone was not working right and he couldn't hear me, so I asked, can you hear me, and he said no, Then I said if you cannot hear me then how come you said no? Then he hung up. Ha ha. I was drinking a small glass of wine while I wrote this:-)

That story was interesting too. That part at the end confused me cause yeah if he didn't hear you then why reply no?

At least you talked to that woman for awhile. It sounded like a good conversation.