23 Mar 2019, 5:18 am
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
It’s hard to be myself when I keep trying on identities. If I see a goth girl on instagram I want to be her and it’s same thing with girly girls, preppy girls, pop star girls and female rockstars.
I don’t know who I am. I’ve been put under a radar for just about everything I screw up on and my family tries to tell me who I am. My mom sees me in men’s band tees and boots that aren’t UGGs or designer. This has been going on since 7th grade. My brother thinks I’m manly.
Breast cancer runs in my dad’s side of the family. If I lose my D cups I won’t be feminine anymore. My mom tells me that men like “powerful” women. They don’t like super glitzy fashionistas. I call bull crap on that.
I don’t know who I am. I’ve been put under a radar for just about everything I screw up on and my family tries to tell me who I am. My mom sees me in men’s band tees and boots that aren’t UGGs or designer. This has been going on since 7th grade. My brother thinks I’m manly.
Breast cancer runs in my dad’s side of the family. If I lose my D cups I won’t be feminine anymore. My mom tells me that men like “powerful” women. They don’t like super glitzy fashionistas. I call bull crap on that.
I've tried out different looks too but I always seemed to miss the mark and look odd. I think also what actually
appealed to me about the looks was the fact that they fit together and fitted that person. I want my own look
that suits me, but I struggle to find any of the components in the shops even though my look is quite simple and
I'm not good at putting things together and everything keeps changing
(not my look, the things in the shops)I don't know why you'd want people to think you are ditsy though, I am almost insanely desperate for people to
think I'm clever.
23 Mar 2019, 7:17 am
23 Mar 2019, 7:34 am
fluffysaurus wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
It’s hard to be myself when I keep trying on identities. If I see a goth girl on instagram I want to be her and it’s same thing with girly girls, preppy girls, pop star girls and female rockstars.
I don’t know who I am. I’ve been put under a radar for just about everything I screw up on and my family tries to tell me who I am. My mom sees me in men’s band tees and boots that aren’t UGGs or designer. This has been going on since 7th grade. My brother thinks I’m manly.
Breast cancer runs in my dad’s side of the family. If I lose my D cups I won’t be feminine anymore. My mom tells me that men like “powerful” women. They don’t like super glitzy fashionistas. I call bull crap on that.
I don’t know who I am. I’ve been put under a radar for just about everything I screw up on and my family tries to tell me who I am. My mom sees me in men’s band tees and boots that aren’t UGGs or designer. This has been going on since 7th grade. My brother thinks I’m manly.
Breast cancer runs in my dad’s side of the family. If I lose my D cups I won’t be feminine anymore. My mom tells me that men like “powerful” women. They don’t like super glitzy fashionistas. I call bull crap on that.
I've tried out different looks too but I always seemed to miss the mark and look odd. I think also what actually
appealed to me about the looks was the fact that they fit together and fitted that person. I want my own look
that suits me, but I struggle to find any of the components in the shops even though my look is quite simple and
I'm not good at putting things together and everything keeps changing
(not my look, the things in the shops)I don't know why you'd want people to think you are ditsy though, I am almost insanely desperate for people to
think I'm clever.
I still mourn my favorite almost-all-female forum that died after the f*c*book era came
There was a closed section where we discussed such things with photos of us included. This plus my tendency to "nerd into" topics made me learn a lot about what and what not to wear.
Actually, I ended up with checked shirts and trekking pants but it's my informed choice - and I'm careful to choose right colors for my slightly unusual natural skin tone.
23 Mar 2019, 7:45 am
23 Mar 2019, 8:27 am
xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,906
Location: In my imagination
23 Mar 2019, 10:59 am
Alterity wrote:
I agree with TUF, these views you have about what is womanly and feminine is pretty sexist.
Skin problems aren't subject to a gender, and having them doesn't make you more or less of a guy or female. Heck even cats can get acne. My hormones still find it prevalent to give me break outs at 31 but it's crap to do with how womanly I am. I just have to deal with them. Btw, people with oily skin are less likely to have as many wrinkles as they age
If you have to force to be be a certain way that is contrary to how you feel, it's a pretty good indicator that you really shouldn't do it. Besides being insincere it makes it so that you are denying who you are. If you enjoy dressing up, wearing makeup and being prissy then that's fine, if you don't enjoy it then that's fine too! You are you, if you feel best in a t-shirt and pants then that is your brand of female and there is nothing wrong with it.
There are many types of people and for that reason they like many different kinds of people. Some guys like strong women, some like goth, some like alternative/hippy types, some guys want arm candy so they will be willing to put up with her high maintenance, but other guys will run the other direction from that.
Media and fashion culture like to tell people what you should be and look like but its crap. It's only one brand of person and frankly it's also pretty fake and superficial. It might be nice to dream about pretty things but that's all it is; things with no substance. That's all you will generally see on Instagram, its an image, an idea but that's all. You can make the cover a book look as pretty as you want but it doesn't mean much if the pages are blank.
Figure out what you like, who you want to be that isn't based on images but with how it makes you feel. It will feel so much better when someone likes you for that person than it ever would if they were liking you for you upholding those pretenses. Being true to yourself, not letting other define you, and valuing who you are inside, THAT is how a bada$$ woman does things.
Skin problems aren't subject to a gender, and having them doesn't make you more or less of a guy or female. Heck even cats can get acne. My hormones still find it prevalent to give me break outs at 31 but it's crap to do with how womanly I am. I just have to deal with them. Btw, people with oily skin are less likely to have as many wrinkles as they age
If you have to force to be be a certain way that is contrary to how you feel, it's a pretty good indicator that you really shouldn't do it. Besides being insincere it makes it so that you are denying who you are. If you enjoy dressing up, wearing makeup and being prissy then that's fine, if you don't enjoy it then that's fine too! You are you, if you feel best in a t-shirt and pants then that is your brand of female and there is nothing wrong with it.
There are many types of people and for that reason they like many different kinds of people. Some guys like strong women, some like goth, some like alternative/hippy types, some guys want arm candy so they will be willing to put up with her high maintenance, but other guys will run the other direction from that.
Media and fashion culture like to tell people what you should be and look like but its crap. It's only one brand of person and frankly it's also pretty fake and superficial. It might be nice to dream about pretty things but that's all it is; things with no substance. That's all you will generally see on Instagram, its an image, an idea but that's all. You can make the cover a book look as pretty as you want but it doesn't mean much if the pages are blank.
Figure out what you like, who you want to be that isn't based on images but with how it makes you feel. It will feel so much better when someone likes you for that person than it ever would if they were liking you for you upholding those pretenses. Being true to yourself, not letting other define you, and valuing who you are inside, THAT is how a bada$$ woman does things.
I’ve been physically compared to a man for years. My self esteem and body image is permanently damaged. I go back and forth between wanting to be ditzy and wanting to be a guy’s accessory and wanting to be truly happy and label free.
23 Mar 2019, 11:41 am
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I’ve been physically compared to a man for years. My self esteem and body image is permanently damaged. I go back and forth between wanting to be ditzy and wanting to be a guy’s accessory and wanting to be truly happy and label free.
"Truly happy and label free" sounds better for me...
While ditzy is not really a thing in my culture, I've also had tried a lot of different roles before I found a niche I feel good in.
Some random people said "dude" or "sir" to me even after I grew long hair and wore relatively elegant clothes.
I had periods of jewellery and hairdos and periods free of them.
But I also found different styles of feminity. Strong, modest, motherly. That fits me better than Barbie style and it seems there are guys who find it attractive.
Are you the mask wearing female type Aspie? Exploring what is behind your mask is an effort but it's also an adventure. Inventing your social persona so it fits your inner self is a hard but fascinating work.
My best to you
xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,906
Location: In my imagination
23 Mar 2019, 3:58 pm
magz wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I’ve been physically compared to a man for years. My self esteem and body image is permanently damaged. I go back and forth between wanting to be ditzy and wanting to be a guy’s accessory and wanting to be truly happy and label free.
"Truly happy and label free" sounds better for me...
While ditzy is not really a thing in my culture, I've also had tried a lot of different roles before I found a niche I feel good in.
Some random people said "dude" or "sir" to me even after I grew long hair and wore relatively elegant clothes.
I had periods of jewellery and hairdos and periods free of them.
But I also found different styles of feminity. Strong, modest, motherly. That fits me better than Barbie style and it seems there are guys who find it attractive.
Are you the mask wearing female type Aspie? Exploring what is behind your mask is an effort but it's also an adventure. Inventing your social persona so it fits your inner self is a hard but fascinating work.
My best to you
If I wore a mask I would be the gawky teenager type which is a stereotypical female on the spectrum. I grew up loving makeup and cute and pretty things. I just wish I could be myself and like cute and pretty things without the ditzy piece.
23 Mar 2019, 4:07 pm
23 Mar 2019, 4:09 pm
xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,906
Location: In my imagination
23 Mar 2019, 5:25 pm
23 Mar 2019, 6:35 pm
23 Mar 2019, 6:44 pm
23 Mar 2019, 7:05 pm
24 Mar 2019, 9:26 am
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,901
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
27 May 2019, 8:04 pm
Yet another thread on WP posted by a male about how men have it soooo much worse than women do, and all the talk about rape and sexual harassment and dangerous men are to women are greatly exaggerated. 
Men don't have to worry anywhere near as much as being attacked as women do. There are many countries in the world where women are much more likely to be harassed, raped or killed. The Canadian government has warnings specifically for women who are planning to travel, and it said that in many cultures the men don't think what they're doing is wrong at all and that all women from Canada and the US are promiscuous and flirtatious. Probably from seeing stupid American movies and media. 
And if a woman *is* promiscuous, she's a s**t. If she doesn't want sex at all, she's a prude. You cannot win.
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