Any secondary school teachers here? How do you cope?

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I'm a secondary school teacher, I teach English as a Foreign Language (in a non-English speaking country), have been for a number of years now and I find it increasingly difficult to cope

- with the noise not only during the breaks but also partly during class (while playing games, pupils doing group assignments, etc.)
- with the smells (some pupils seem to never shower or bathe at all)
- with the demands due to more and more pupils having psychological or behavioural problems (I have to be teacher, social worker, psychologist and whatnot, I have 2 depressive kids, who start crying during lessons, one sociopath who keeps screaming at me, hitting other kids and spitting food around, and several with ADHS)
- with demands due to new regulations (for instance, the graduating exam in English now requires me to not have a conversation with students about certain topics but make small-talk, which I can barely do)
- with new ideas how to help students learn (like putting ergometers in the classroom that go "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" all the time)
- with more and more teachers conferences and group meetings
- with having to be both psychologist and social worker for problem families
- with teaching kids not only English but also basic manners
- with dealing with kids who have never learned how to write (I am not a primary school teacher and have no idea how to do that while I should actually be teaching them a foreign language)
- with extra-curricular activities like school outings to go hiking, or sports camps or the like (which thankfully I have been able to avoid)
- with general misogyny ("My son doesn't listen to you? *heheh* He doesn't listen to his mother either, only to me, his father. That's normal, boys will be boys. Women just don't have any natural authority.")
- with not only pupils but also fellow teachers not following school rules
- with the kids' puberty (strange giggling all through class, being extremely disrespectful while you aren't allowed to do anything but talk to their parents who then tell you that you're the idiot and should just shut up)

I'd really love to hear how you do it, what coping strategies you have, etc.

I salute you for doing what you do. I was a substitute teacher for three years, and that experience taught me that I could never do it full-time.

Sorry I don’t have any advice, but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

I tried to get into the special ed field around 2012 and 2013, but was getting drive by autism diagnoses the whole time, and was told that I shouldn't be working, and if anything I should be getting therapy and disability rather than working. The feedback I got was that the other staff at the school liked having me there, but couldn't imagine me having any responsibilities, and the kids did love it when I was there. Overall it seems like education is a poor match for people with autism or aspergers, and seems like a field you should only consider if you are trying to get people to tell you to go on disability instead of working.

I sympathize with you. From my perspective I would find it very difficult to teach elementary or secondary education because of my experience with bullying. Today's culture seems to be digressing rather than improving.

I will offer one suggestion. From your explanation, I feel that teaching sometimes would almost make you want to scream. So do that. Much of what you said oversensitivity to sound, smells, and being overwhelmed by changing requirements is driven by stress. The unused hormones released by stress accumulate in your muscles and nervous system. They need to be vented. One way to vent the stored stress energy locked in your neck, vocal cords and jaw it to scream as loud as your can a few times each week. But you must scream in a socially acceptable manner. Never scream at a person. I live in the rural countryside and my dog is a free-range dog. When it is mealtime and my dog is up and about; I call my dog very loudly.

I yell so loud that I can hear my voice being echoed back to me from nearby hills and mountains. My voice carries about a mile. The call is so strong that it borders on a roar. It is a very good feeling. It gives me a sense of great strength, like I could split a mountain in two just with my voice alone. I feel strong to my core. It is a great stress reliever or normalizer. And it is socially acceptable in the countryside.

One might try howling like a wolf at the moon. There is an individual in New York City on this site that howls at the subway cars as they pass by deep down in the subway stations. But there are other ways to scream in a socially acceptable manner. A singer can do this if it is a very powerful song. A barker in the county fair can do this. A fan at a rock concert can sing along at the top of their lungs. Even a Girl Scout can practice barking in front of the local grocery store when she sells Girl Scout cookies. Or find yourself a soundproof room.

Thanks a lot to those who answered.

When I was diagnosed the doctor advised me to find a job that's not so socially demanding. That's easier said than done when you're almost 50. So I'm still teaching and struggling and I hoped that someone had some advice.

@jimmy m:
What you said makes a lot of sense. I've noticed that this year seems harder than the years before and I've wondered why that is and I've thought that it might have to do with me taking part in a carpool for the first time this year. I thought the added social interaction might be too much. Now I also realize that while I drove my own car I used to play loud music and sang along loudly. In a car full with other people I obviously can't do that. But now that I think about it, I miss it a lot: belting out a metal song at the top of my lungs. There's really no other place I can sing loudly but when I'm alone in my car. I've been thinking of dropping out of the carpool for a while and I think I've just found another argument to do so.

My mom was a high school English teacher for 40 years and she always said it was surprising how much her coworkers drank, which I say half jokingly. (She's always been a teetotaler, though.)

I tried environmental education and honestly I have a lot of knowledge but I was not good at watching the kids or anything like that.

I tried to get into teaching a few times throughout the years, and I always struggled with the social and executive function aspects. I also tried substitute teaching for a few years, with my best successes as a teacher aide in Special Ed rather than regular ed classes. I especially succeeded in helping students one-on-one. In other words, I learned I function best as a tutor rather than a teacher, heh! My last subbing go-around was last year for a couple of months. I was let go, and the district never told me why despite me asking why they no longer employed me. I took this as a sign to move on.

So yeah, sorry, I never really learned to cope. I found out teaching wasn't quite my thing, but tutoring has prepared me well in the case of educating a future child. I do direct care now, and almost exclusively the night shift when there's little social interaction. I work best in quiet environments. More than one person at a time, and I'm simply not nearly as efficient. I cannot process all the social and sensory loads that others can. I'm a narrow systemizer. Give me a house to clean, paperwork to sort, a single child to teach, and I'm good. Anything more than that, and I'm a lost little sheep!

Hi there,

I’m a physics teacher in the uk so can relate to some of what you feel.
I get what you mean about teachers breaking the school rules. What annoys me is they seem to expect children to do their work properly but the adults sometimes don’t do their work!
I’m in a school where things change last minute several times a week - some of the changes directly affect me and my lessons so I have sent emails asking if we can get more notice and pointed out the number of staff the changes affect. I doubt it will change the culture of the school.

I also know what you mean about the sexism and I have reported sexism several times. Since I’ve spoken up lots of other teachers have noticed the same thing.

I did realise that I was dreading Monday morning more in my new school than my old school so I found a new job to go to which seems more organised less messy if you know what I mean. I wonder if you’re in a position to look elsewhere?