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Can't stop thinking about an Asperger's girl at work...

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MeganMaxwell
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01 Jun 2019, 8:16 am

cyberdad wrote:
London then? it's an adventure but you won't be too homesick


Lol that’s where my pen pal is atm bahhha. Have you been? I saw a lot of it with my brother...



cyberdad
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01 Jun 2019, 7:31 pm

MeganMaxwell wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
London then? it's an adventure but you won't be too homesick


Lol that’s where my pen pal is atm bahhha. Have you been? I saw a lot of it with my brother...


No but my family have been to London (I was stuck in College at the time) and the upside is the brilliant culture and outstanding museums/art galleries. Downside is the crowds, slightly dodgy accommodation and the lack of hygiene (I think old countries are built up on thousand years of occupation are a little on the unhygenic side compared to countries like Canada, Australia and NZ where the air, traffic and cities are much cleaner).



Zack1994
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01 Jun 2019, 11:32 pm

A. She already has a boyfriend
B. Workplace finds it inappropriate
C. She sees you as a friend
D. She does not know you that well



cyberdad
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02 Jun 2019, 6:23 am

Zack1994 wrote:
A. She already has a boyfriend
B. Workplace finds it inappropriate
C. She sees you as a friend
D. She does not know you that well


I'll bring in the "three word story" from another thread

Hit...nail...head...



SnPx
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01 Aug 2022, 2:36 am

Not sure if anyone is still interested: we don't work together any more, we still chat almost everyday, I'm still crazy about her - and she's marrying her BF :(

I'm happy because it makes her happy but at the same time I hate it so much.



cyberdad
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01 Aug 2022, 2:49 am

SnPx wrote:
I'm still crazy about her .


Dude you did what I did in my 20s which was allow myself to get friendzoned. Please move on, this one is long gone...



SnPx
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01 Aug 2022, 2:53 am

cyberdad wrote:
SnPx wrote:
I'm still crazy about her .


Dude you did what I did in my 20s which was allow myself to get friendzoned. Please move on, this one is long gone...


Thanks - this is exactly the sort of thing I need to hear. I really dislike having illogical feelings.



cyberdad
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01 Aug 2022, 3:06 am

SnPx wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
SnPx wrote:
I'm still crazy about her .


Dude you did what I did in my 20s which was allow myself to get friendzoned. Please move on, this one is long gone...


Thanks - this is exactly the sort of thing I need to hear. I really dislike having illogical feelings.


No worries, invest your time wisely :wink:

Running after girls who have male friends already is a bad investment



SnPx
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01 Aug 2022, 3:06 am

FWIW it's not that I want to be "with" her, she clearly should be with her BF and I'm fine with just being friends with her. I quite enjoy how she makes me feel, and I'm not bothered that nothing is ever going to happen.

I knew they were planning to get married and I'm really happy for her. It's just the actual decision has unexpectedly bounced me around a bit.



cyberdad
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01 Aug 2022, 3:09 am

SnPx wrote:
FWIW it's not that I want to be "with" her, she clearly should be with her BF and I'm fine with just being friends with her. I quite enjoy how she makes me feel, and I'm not bothered that nothing is ever going to happen.

I knew they were planning to get married and I'm really happy for her. It's just the actual decision has unexpectedly bounced me around a bit.


Yeah, when I was in my mid 30s I enjoyed hanging around 18-22 yr old women. I also loved the way the made me feel. But after while I realised I needed to look after myself and find somebody who would make commitments.



SnPx
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01 Aug 2022, 3:20 am

cyberdad wrote:
SnPx wrote:
FWIW it's not that I want to be "with" her, she clearly should be with her BF and I'm fine with just being friends with her. I quite enjoy how she makes me feel, and I'm not bothered that nothing is ever going to happen.

I knew they were planning to get married and I'm really happy for her. It's just the actual decision has unexpectedly bounced me around a bit.


Yeah, when I was in my mid 30s I enjoyed hanging around 18-22 yr old women. I also loved the way the made me feel. But after while I realised I needed to look after myself and find somebody who would make commitments.


Interesting that you seem to know she's younger than me even though I don't think I ever mentioned it. I guess the reason this kind of thing is stereotypical for a reason.



SnPx
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01 Aug 2022, 4:45 am

Just to backfill a little:

I do now realise her initial flirting was just for her own entertainment. I wasn't the only one she was playing with. I should probably be annoyed about that, but I now understand that was a reaction to how men have treated her in the past.

I know she didn't expect to become friends with me, and she has said that she doesn't know why she cares about me but she does.

We did end up holding hands, and we still do when we occasionally meet and there's no one else around.

They may have been times when it could of gone further but I'm terrible at reading the signs and I can't be sure. She did ask me to stay over one night and I said no because of my GF. There are many more things that have happened over the last couple of years which have made me think "maybe" but I've chosen to believe it's all in my head. Even if something could have happened, I'm not sure I wouldn't have wanted to.



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02 Aug 2022, 1:28 am

So you are cheating your GF of 10+ years, and she is cheating her soon-to-be-husband BF.

How wonderful.

I highly doubt your Gf isn’y aware about it yet; have you two considered going poly?


Quote:
I do now realise her initial flirting was just for her own entertainment. I wasn't the only one she was playing with.


In the pre-Political Correctness days, there was a word to describe this type of person.



SnPx
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02 Aug 2022, 1:39 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
So you are cheating your GF of 10+ years, and she is cheating her soon-to-be-husband BF.

How wonderful.

I highly doubt your Gf isn’y aware about it yet; have you two considered going poly?


Quote:
I do now realise her initial flirting was just for her own entertainment. I wasn't the only one she was playing with.


In the pre-Political Correctness days, there was a word to describe this type of person.


We never cheated. We have never done anything more than a hug.

She's a complicated individual. I don't expect people to be perfect.



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02 Aug 2022, 4:19 am

fez wrote:
I think about it slightly differently. I very seldom meet people I like and connect with and when I do I feel fine ‘falling into them’ it has nothing to do with love or sexual feelings: it is just nice to finally feel connected.


I agree completely. I put a lot of value on having that kind of connection, and if I only had a NT-GF and no kids to take care of, then I'd likely go for it. After all, we only live once, and these things happens very seldom.



rdos
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02 Aug 2022, 4:42 am

SnPx wrote:
Just to backfill a little:

I do now realise her initial flirting was just for her own entertainment. I wasn't the only one she was playing with. I should probably be annoyed about that, but I now understand that was a reaction to how men have treated her in the past.

I know she didn't expect to become friends with me, and she has said that she doesn't know why she cares about me but she does.

We did end up holding hands, and we still do when we occasionally meet and there's no one else around.

They may have been times when it could of gone further but I'm terrible at reading the signs and I can't be sure. She did ask me to stay over one night and I said no because of my GF. There are many more things that have happened over the last couple of years which have made me think "maybe" but I've chosen to believe it's all in my head. Even if something could have happened, I'm not sure I wouldn't have wanted to.


If you can communicate with her at a distance, then just continue that way and don't worry about "where it will lead". You should believe those hunches that you get from her, and give some back. A "relationship" cannot possibly get any better than this. If you do think about "getting together" (in spite of her marrying), avoid it. These connections work at a distance, so you don't need to be together all the time to feel connected, and instead you might sabotage your connection.