Are aspies too honest alot of the time?

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I like to tell the truth to people but I'm wondering if there's such a thing as being too honest. I tend to gossip about my relative to my friends. I may be 35 years old, but my mother gets annoyed when I talk about things I shouldn't to people outside of my immediate family. I need to know is there such a thing as being too honest?

Too honest is a defining trait of aspies IMHO.

Being too honest is an Aspie/autism trait, and can be a result of lacking TOM. I don't have this trait, as I can quickly work out whether telling the truth will be appropriate or not in different situations.

Even when I was a child I knew how to lie. Sometimes in primary school, when I was as young as 4 or 5, I actually remember making up a lie to get me out of having to start my work again if I had made a mistake. I could make up very convincing lies on the spot.

Lying is sometimes a 'tool' you need when communicating. I wouldn't say I'm a dishonest person in general, as I like to be honest to earn people's trust, but I'd say I probably tell at least 1 or 2 white lies every day, or at least nearly every day. Sometimes I lie to save someone's feelings, other times I lie to avoid a telling off at work, and I lie if I'm embarrassed about something I don't want people to know, or if I know something but pretend not to know (to save me from interrogation), the list goes on. Well, in other words, I am tactful. So I don't go telling stupid made-up stories to make myself sound hard or anything like that. Those sorts of lies are pointless and stupid.
But I know how to be tactful at the right times. I am very glad and thankful that I don't lack this social skill.

You don't necessarily need to start lying, but I learned in school from my peers that there are times it isn't okay to share information, even though you know it. Basically, there are things people tell you that they expect you to keep secret, even though they don't SAY it's a secret. You're just supposed to know.

I honestly assume things are secrets now unless someone tells me I can share. Or lots of times I ask, like if a friend tells me they have a new boyfriend. I'll say something like, "congrats!! ! Are you telling everyone yet, or is it still kind of private?" If they say private, I don't tell anyone and basically act like I don't know. If they say people know, then I know I can mention it if the topic comes up. But honestly, I still usually just don't talk about other people's business, since it's hard for me to keep straight the rules of when it is okay, how it's okay to say it, etc.

Instead, I encourage people to talk about themselves or their interests. Most people like to do that.

Hope that helps?

Ugh, I'm awful at this, and people keep not wanting me too close to them because of it. I just can't keep track of what can be shared and what can't! And it's just one more thing to keep track of in conversations with people, which are already so overloaded already. I can't figure out how to respond to "how's your day going" and they want me to also evaluate every word first to see if it has to do with somebody else or not?

I wish more people would practice good security software protocols - be completely open source, it's the best defense.

Tolerance to honesty varies quite a bit amongst people and also depends on their relationship with you; gossip, on the other hand, can be a really big problem, especially if you talk about somebody else's private issues/affairs with just about anybody - you should be careful with that as it can destroy people's trust in you.

If you're too honest, people then judge you. Most people filter their thoughts around people to avoid being judged and being seen as an a**hole. I think people on the autism spectrum have that issue so they have more troubles fitting in and being accepted. Even the awkward NTs who are too honest and open with their opinions also get singled out too and judged and have troubles fitting in.

I realized your views and opinions reflect on what kind of person you are so people judge you based on that and if you are autistic and have bad views, that is a problem you will have because your autism makes you unable to filter your thoughts around people so people see you as a jerk and stuff. I find that autistic people who are actually nice don't have this problem with their peers. An example would be someone got assaulted so now their face looks terrible, an autistic person would say what they actually think if they think that person is ugly now and look disgusting it makes them want to throw up. Most NTs would keep that thought to themselves to avoid looking like an a**hole if they felt the same way as the autistic person. I used to have a co worker at work who always drooled and I knew to not say he looked gross when he does it. I knew he couldn't help it because he had cerebral palsy and I never looked at him. I would look like an ableist and an ass if I told him "You look so gross when you drool it grosses me out."

oh boy... I am way to open and honest with people that I hardly even know. I realize after I have said something that I shouldn't have said it. I also am very honest in interviews (if I am not quiet) sometimes I think its what makes me not get the job. I also gossip a lot. I know I shouldn't, but I really cant help it.

Not so much being too honest as not attaching appropriate words or qualifications to statements.

Example: During my stay in hospital as a 16-year old, I was in the on-site school and one of the teachers asked me if I needed help on a particular task. I said, blunty, "No." It probably would have been wiser to add the words "thank you" after.

Apparently so. And I know there have been times when I haven't bothered to lie, or have said what I meant to the shock of some people. Sometimes out of lack of thought or understanding, other times not.

But also, even as a kid, I understood about not being a snitch, and keeping quiet about things I understood were sensitive or secret.

Yes, there is. Talking about things you shouldn't to outsiders is definitely not okay.

I think we tend to be much more honest than most people. Is that too honest? Only by the very subjective judgement of others in a particular situation.

I see what you did there. Bravo.

It is not that autistics are too honest it is that most people are not honest enough.

Too honest, too trusting, too unsuspecting, too friendly, etc.

It seems that I lack general social/situational awareness all around. I am easily identified in a crowd due to absent-minded obliviousness, which is very problematic. On top of that my senses are overly receptive so people yelling affects me more, and that is typically the most common tactic employed by manipulative people to control others.

I've been very honest my entire life and I've taken a lot of heat about it, especially from my mum.