Boston Herald article on work needed to function in NT world

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While walking in Needham a few years ago, a neighbor said something to Gretchen Leary that she hears all too often: “You don’t seem like somebody with autism.”

“My brain is going, ‘Maintain eye contact, breathe, maintain eye contact, breathe,’” Gretchen recalled yesterday. “It’s so frustrating when people do that because I’m working really, really hard. Don’t take that away from me please.”

Gretchen was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at age 23. She’s made it her mission to raise awareness and support kids and adults with autism.

Tomorrow, Gretchen, now 33, plans to deliver 10 weighted lap pads to Needham’s Walker School. She’s also giving sensory care packages with items like teddy bears, protective earmuffs and squeezable stress balls to Boston Children’s Hospital as part of her recently launched Breathe Boston Autism Project.

Gretchen is working on expanding her project into a nonprofit, BostonCalm, to further support people with autism.

Over time, Gretchen has learned to mimic learned social behaviors. “When I go into a social situation, I ask a lot of the same exact questions and they are questions I’ve heard other people ask people,” she said. “I’d rather sit and talk about ‘Seinfeld’ all day but most people don’t want to hear about that.”

She forces herself to make eye contact with people, sometimes forgetting to breathe. Fluorescent lights give her painful headaches. Sirens feel like fingernails running down a chalkboard.

Growing up, she’d walk up to people at church and ask, “Can I hug you?” She’d chew pens to calm herself down as she sat on hard seats under the bright school classroom lights. She wishes she had the sensory items she’s now donating.

Now, she eases her anxiety in part by doing yoga at home. She’s self-published two children’s books about acceptance. She’s donated her care packages to other Hub hospitals and organizations and includes letters of support. The community has stepped up with donations.

“An autism diagnosis is not a reason to lose hope,” Gretchen said. For those with autism, she says, “You’re not alone. Be proud of who you are. Your differences are what make you amazing.”

Thank you for posting this and for all of the other autism related articles you post. You provide us a very valuable service!