Asperger’s guys who want male friends but not female friends

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Mapofsteel
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05 Jul 2019, 5:38 pm

I wanted to know how many other straight cisgender guys besides me there are on the spectrum who only want other straight cisgender guys as their friends?



Fireblossom
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06 Jul 2019, 5:31 am

Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?



BenderRodriguez
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06 Jul 2019, 5:42 am

No, I enjoy having women friends. Non-"straight cisgender guys" too.


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08 Jul 2019, 11:14 am

I much prefer female friends. For me, I think it's the more casual/relaxed interactions, most male friends make me feel more competitive, and like I have to be 'on' all the time; which can be draining, and not what I want out of a situation that's already mentally taxing. Plus it can be tough to engage when I have waaay less in common with most of them than I do with girl friends. That said some of my best friends are male, but they're the ones I have the same interests as.

Maybe you're just seeking the social situations that make you feel most comfortable? For example, your sexuality may be raking up emotions that don't suit platonic relationships.



kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2019, 11:30 am

Quite frankly, if you don't have women as friends, it's much more difficult to find a suitable woman as your life partner.

Having women as friends helps you understand women.

Just like women having men as friends helps them understand men better.



funeralxempire
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13 Jul 2019, 1:01 am

Unless you rap or like cars, if you're male I'm probably not that interested in forming a close relationship with you. I can't conceive of not wanting to have women in my life, and not just as a partner, but merely as friends and people to talk to.

It would make a lot more sense for an exclusively gay man to prefer only male companionship, but as a straight guy it's inconceivable.


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14 Jul 2019, 9:47 pm

I want to be friends with people of all genders and orientations.


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nick007
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15 Jul 2019, 6:59 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I want to be friends with people of all genders and orientations.
I wouldn't exactly say I want to make friends cuz for the most part I'm happy not having friends thou I am open to friendship. I'm just not gonna make the 1st move or seek it out. I try not to judge people by their gender & orientation & instead judge them by how they treat me.


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Mapofsteel
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08 Dec 2019, 5:25 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?

Well, to name one reason, girls and women have monthly menstrual periods that cause changes in their mood, feelings, and personalities, and they can’t even be open about them with their male friends. So boys and men never know when there could be a girl on her period and we have to walk on eggshells because of this causing issues and us having no way to tell.



funeralxempire
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08 Dec 2019, 8:43 pm

Mapofsteel wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?

Well, to name one reason, girls and women have monthly menstrual periods that cause changes in their mood, feelings, and personalities, and they can’t even be open about them with their male friends. So boys and men never know when there could be a girl on her period and we have to walk on eggshells because of this causing issues and us having no way to tell.


Generally speaking this hasn't ever been a concern in my experience. Like, that's not to say that PMS doesn't exist, but you make it sound like you can't interact with them and that they're completely unaware of how it impacts them. Unless you're going into eighth grade, the person you're interacting with is already pretty familiar with how their body works and how this impacts their mindset.

It sounds more like you're basing this on reading a list of hypothetical reasons than on actual real life interaction. :?


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08 Dec 2019, 8:50 pm

Men have bad moods from time-to-time, too. Why do you seem to think that that human experience is limited to menstrual cycles?

Perhaps if you want to know if a female friend is on her period she should know what all is going on with you hormonally and biologically. If we’re going to stick with the precedent of stereotyping, the male sex drive can cause a whole host of problems. Perhaps if we knew the details of your sex drive at the moment (if you’re sexually frustrated, turned on and hiding it, etc.) we could better understand your behavior.

There’s been at least one guy in my life who I’ve had to walk on eggshells around, but that’s another story.

Anyway, it’s not like we’re a different species. Since we make up roughly half of the population, it’d be to your benefit to learn how to interact with us and not view each member of our gender as a ticking time bomb. Not cool.



Fireblossom
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09 Dec 2019, 5:24 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?

Well, to name one reason, girls and women have monthly menstrual periods that cause changes in their mood, feelings, and personalities, and they can’t even be open about them with their male friends. So boys and men never know when there could be a girl on her period and we have to walk on eggshells because of this causing issues and us having no way to tell.


Eer no, that's not how it works, not in general. Yes, some women are affected that way, but not all. Some get terrible physical pains during their period, but it doesn't affect them mentally. Some don't have any differences aside from having to go to the bathroom more often.

Besides, with that logic you could never get in to a relationship with a woman either.



Twilightprincess
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09 Dec 2019, 10:32 am

One might as well adopt a positive view of the hormonal and biological process because, after all, you wouldn’t be here without it.



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09 Dec 2019, 10:42 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?
Well, to name one reason, girls and women have monthly menstrual periods that cause changes in their mood, feelings, and personalities, and they can’t even be open about them with their male friends. So boys and men never know when there could be a girl on her period and we have to walk on eggshells because of this causing issues and us having no way to tell.
The password is 'Misogyny'.


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Twilightprincess
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09 Dec 2019, 10:55 am

Fnord wrote:
Mapofsteel wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Why do some people only want same gender friends? Can someone explain?
Well, to name one reason, girls and women have monthly menstrual periods that cause changes in their mood, feelings, and personalities, and they can’t even be open about them with their male friends. So boys and men never know when there could be a girl on her period and we have to walk on eggshells because of this causing issues and us having no way to tell.
The password is 'Misogyny'.


It’s a very useful concept. That way when you’re wrong and a woman lets you know about it you can blame it on her monthly cycle. Thus, you are never wrong!

The current President has been known to adopt this line of reasoning.