“Why do you ask for my advice and then argue with it?”

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Fnord
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21 May 2019, 2:59 pm

magz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
I'd hate to think that everyone who ignores me or disagrees with me has a mental problem.
If someone asks you for advice and then purposefully ignores it, and then blames you, they most likely has some mental problem (depression is quite common).
Doubtful. They may just be baiting people to draw them close enough to insult and embarrass them, like some kind of perverse form of virtue signalling.

magz wrote:
Sure people don't like it when their pride is hurt. People often deny being wrong, which leads them to most disastrous choices. But I'm not sure if the example is relevant to the topic. Did your neighbor's daughter ask her mother for advice and later blamed her?
Step-mother. I was there when she asked all of us for advice on how to make him nicer. First the step-mom voice her opinion, then the dad said, "You should listen to her", and then the daughter made a dramatic exit and ran out of the house.

You know ... typical teen-age melodrama. No diagnosis of depression, just a confused and hostile girl too proud to listen to reason and too stupid to reason for herself.


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magz
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21 May 2019, 3:03 pm

Okay, people doing unhealthy things are not always mentally ill.
Still, you can't help them if their own choices are wrong. And if they blame you, they do it unjustly.


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Fnord
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21 May 2019, 3:07 pm

magz wrote:
Okay, people doing unhealthy things are not always mentally ill. Still, you can't help them if their own choices are wrong. And if they blame you, they do it unjustly.
If they blame anyone other than themselves, it is not only "unjust", it is unreasonable.


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nick007
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26 May 2019, 2:34 am

One of the ways I analyze things & sort things out sometimes is by breaking things down into bits & pieces & debate if I can use them or not & if so how I can apply em & the pros & cons. It looks to others like I'm arguing with them when I'm really just trying to figure things out. Even if I cant use/apply any of their advice, sometimes just analyzing it helps me see things in a different perspective & makes something "click". It sometimes also helps me feel someone can relate to me or I just feel like I'm not alone & someone cares. I really wish others wouldn't take it so personally when I disagree. I know when thinking about things now that I should say something to the person to let them know I appreciate their advice but it never occurs to me till I've broken things down & figured out how it can help me, then I know better how to thank them & exactly what for.


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