Things You’ve Learned About Dating Through Experience

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The social nuances around dating are extremely complex, so it’s no wonder that many of us struggle in this area.

What are some things you’ve learned along the way through trial and error?

When I was 12, I learned that boys that you have a crush on really don’t like it when you beat them in arm wrestling. (An extremely important point to remember.)

It’s good to keep a list of potential things to talk about in one’s mind to avoid awkward silences.

It’s also a good idea to avoid talking endlessly about a special interest they aren’t that interested in. When I’ve felt the urge, I try to switch things up and ask my date questions to draw him out.

Drawing people out with questions is one of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling overly shy, especially when I hone in on things that they enjoy talking about.

I don’t have a lot of dating experience, but it did get better with practice. My first experiences were incredibly awkward.

Talking about family is usually a decent icebreaker.

Avoid talking about what your date is wearing...

Especially avoid telling your date that what he or she is wearing is “unflattering!” I was the recipient of such a comment once. I never could bring myself to wear that shirt again even though it was one of my favorites.

Don't fixate on people who for all intents and purposes likely aren't interested in you. Learnt this when I was 16 after having a few bad experiences.

Also, don't even try "cold approaching" if you aren't particularly good-looking or socially skilled, unless you're willing to accept plenty of rejection.

From this man's point of view, the women I dated really appreciated being listened to. However...

... if she's talking about her sister's wedding, her cousin's wedding, her friends' weddings, it's a safe bet that she wants her own wedding, and soon. It doesn't have to be with you, as long as it happens.

... if she's talking about all of the jerks who lied to her, used her, and abused her, chances are that she either expects you to behave the same way (so she can dump you), or to treat her like a queen (so she can lie to you, use you, and abuse you).

... if she's talking about babies and biological clocks, then expect her to push the relationship to "the next level" (whatever that means).

... if she talks about all of the men who have hit on her -- including past boyfriends -- then expect her to always have another man on her mind, to whom she will run if he so much as smiles at her.

... if she talks about things that interest you, then see if she actually likes doing them. If she does, marry her, she's golden.

When going on a date, be less concerned about whether the date's going "well" and more concerned about whether the two of you have any compatibility to expand on.

Try to keep the conversation positive.

Don’t talk about how crazy, awful, or narcissistic you think your family is. The date won’t be sure if the problem is your family or you.

Look at the other person's teeth. They will tell more than their hands or eyes.

Straight & Clean: All of the orthodontia has been paid for. No smoking. Regular brushing and flossing.

Crooked: Expect future earnings to be spent on orthodontia.

Yellow: Infrequent brushing, and/or frequent smoking.

Missing: Expensive dentures and bridges are in her future.

Broken & Chipped: Possible drug abuse. Smoking crack and meth ruins teeth.

If it's the first date or early in the relationship, then I'd agree, but eventually background, family, your life story, etc are things that should be discussed imo. You can learn a ton about someone through their history and childhood.

Woo hoo!

I have excellent teeth. I’ve only ever had one cavity.

Perhaps that fact should be stated after the initial introduction.

It would also be beneficial to bring along a blood pressure cuff and a script for bloodwork, especially since healthcare continues to be an expensive problem.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 20 May 2019, 8:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

No, just a smile will do.

Condoms are cheaper than diapers.

True but one must first get to the point where condoms (or diapers) are needed.

I don't have the greatest teeth----and I'm certainly not a drug addict!

Plan ahead for every contingency.

Pfft. The condoms would expire before I'd ever get to use them