Unhealthy Special Interest

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I have been in therapy for a long time. It is PTSD-related, but I think it’s intersecting with my autism which is making me obsess and hyperfocus more than it otherwise would.

At some point, a person needs to move on.

I don’t want to call people out on here, but sometimes I see others obsessing and hyper focused on unhealthy things as well.

I think my interests are mostly positive (pets, music, world cultures), but some could be considered too serious for some people, such as my interest in Asperger syndrome and autism. They could find that depressing, but I find it interesting. I am also interested in medical and disability topics in general. I think I could do something to help others with autism spectrum disorders and people, like me, who have anxiety issues.

A lot of people would find my overdeveloped interest in various countries a bit weird, but I love to study them. My interest in Russia, Serbia and Uzbekistan came from an interest in tennis players from those countries. (Denis Istomin from Russia/Uzbekistan and Janko Tipsarevic from Serbia).

My SIs are always writers and composers whose lives and work deal heavily with death and suicide. It is not good for me when I am down, which is most of the time. People tell me to find something happier to read or listen to, but I usually don't want to, or just can't get interested in those kinds of things.

My interests in world cultures and disability issues also led me to look at special needs adoption stories. I probably wouldn't qualify to do that, but the stories are interesting, and a little scary at the same time.

I was always told ALL of my special interests were unhealthy. Meerkats, Lion King, animals, you name it. "It not healthy to be that obsessed with anything!" Okay than explain to me why everyone else is allowed to be obsessed with boy bands, Goosebumps books, Harry Potter, animae, etc but I'm not allowed to be obsessed with meerkats? I rarely cared what other people though. It was my own mother that gave me the most trouble for my obsessions. If anyone ever tries to "take away" any of my special interests or forbid me from talking about them, it's over with that person. I had to endure that s**t as a child, and heaven forbid I will let someone take advantage of me like that as an adult.

As far as your interest in foreign countries and cultures goes, ok so maybe Americans think it's weird. So what? Americans in general are probably the most culturally insular people in the rich world, so what do they know? I've been the same as you most of my life and if anything we need alot more people with that kind of interest! It's healthy and good for you and for society.

I’ve had a fixation on certain depressing books, movies, and songs. A member of my family thought I was contemplating suicide because of that. I just happen to like those specific works. I enjoy stuff that makes me contemplative, I guess.

I like to laugh, too, so that probably balances me out.

I probably should try to lighten up when I’m feeling down already, though.

When you spend a lot of time researching disability topics, I think one tends to understand the topic better and has more empathy for others. That’s not always easy because a lot of people don’t have exactly an enlightened view of people who are struggling with invisible disabilities.

That can lead to some negativity when one has to deal with idiots.

I agree. If you have a hidden disability, people think you're stupid, defiant or repeatedly ask you, "If you're so smart, why can't you...?"

Twilight: Yeah I feel you in principle about an SI making you feel that way being unhealthy. But it's too important to drop it unless I wanna live outside reality in fantasy land all the time or something. There's too much at stake in politics and I'm too knowledgeable about it too passionate to see the world become a better place and too motivated to try to help to make that happen to the extent I can. And those emotions (anger and depression for example) come w/the territory and aren't always bad if they fuel your fire and determination which they do for me sometimes. The key thing is probably not to be consumed by them or this SI to the exclusion of all else. Besides I've made some good friends through this SI on and offline.

And it doesn't consume either b/c I do have other interests. That's where diversifying comes in to spend more time on other interests I have so maybe they too become SIs and probably to find a new one or three whatever the number. That way you're expanding yourself to be a smarter and more interesting person (however you define those terms) and again you can meet even more people that way w/some of whom you'll probably click as friends or whatever.

But you're right it's better to do things overall most of the time that feed healthy emotions I agree. In terms of doing activism yeah dude take your time. If you need/want to work on your own life and finding other SIs and such that make you feel better more whole etc by all means start there. There's always a chance one of them down the line can lead to some kind of activism when you're ready to get into that. Good luck!

You sound like you would make an excellent zoologist. I live around the corner from a conservation zoo that has a meerkat enclosure where Meerkats run free in a replica of their natural habitat. They are very cute.

On the contrary, i think that it is healthy to be obsessed with something, as surely it is such obsessions that drive a person and from such obsessions much progress is made in their specific areas.

My opinion is that it is not healthy not to be obsessed with something... lol. Such people often end up spending their entire lives in pubs and other negative habits that they cant break due to boredom.

Jersey Zoo

Last edited by madbutnotmad on 27 May 2019, 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you are searching for an interest that makes you happy. I recommend that you sit down and do a big brain storming session, perhaps with your brother if you want to have the same interest.

During this session, put down all the things in life that interest you and make you happy, regardless as to how expensive or realistic turning the subject matter into a special interest is. I would literally put everything down that you love in life, from all areas of your life.

From this list, you should be able to work a list of what areas you love the most and then work out in terms of what are the most accessible. If you want to do this with a shared interest, you can always use a spreadsheet to help you analyse and find common topics. This may also help you share the costs.

Personally i love my special interests, they are exactly what make my life worth living. I feel that without them i would have little or no purpose, and they do make me happy, and a happiness that is not dependent on other people.

Even if the interests do not make me money, or bring me material success, i can still enjoy them for what are.
Out of interest, my personal interests are music / music producing, martial arts (hobbyist) and art (to a lesser extent).

I also went through a big religious stage through my life, and have studied a number of religions over the years.
I was also forced converted several years ago to the cult that is the Jehovah Witnesses. I found this an extremely disorientating and unhappy time for me. I was one of the few lucky people to escape complete conversion without taking my own life or ending up in a mental institution. I understand if you guys have been through or going through a similar type of thing and my sympathy goes out to you. it must be an extremely difficult time for you and your brother.

Please feel free to message me if you want to talk any further on this topic, as i have walked down that road and back again, and survived. I may have some advice to help.

From now on, I am going to make my small business my special interest. I do landscape gardening and good at it. Customers see what I do ask me to work for them. It pays good money as well. The best part is no one thinks it's weird or in the slightest bit abnormal. It's quiet, you aren't forced to socialize. Customers leave you to get on with the work because they are paying your time. After spending two years studying and being treated like a freakshow at a university, I feel like a real person again. Landscaping isn't for everyone, but it's worth considering.

Sounds like a recipe for success, and the old saying goes, if at first you don't succeed.
Go for it.

RoadWolf,

Always start with a passion for something. I wish you success.

Few interests are inherently 'unhealthy', with the exception of those that are actively illegal. However, just about any interest can become unhealthy; for example, if one's interest happens to interfere with one's studies or work.

Personally, I let my pedantism interfere with my productivity too often. For example, when I see or hear what I regard as being a silly comment in person or online, or even in a book or television programme or film, I dwell on it for too long and allow it to psychologically get in the way.