I always mess things up and I don't even know why

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I haven't posted here in a while. I have been busy and kind of happy doing a new course, about web development and I was really enjoying it. Until one day I decided to give my opinion, which I thought was balanced and a constructive criticism, and people acted like it was outrageous and racist. After that, it became a rain of people complaining I do racist commentaries and that I'm rude to people. I don't think I'm racist and I don't think I'm rude, but I assume sometimes talking to me can be difficult. The outcome: I was expelled from the course.

The worst thing is that I can't help but think it was unfair because I really can't see I'm doing the things they told me I did, could it be people are gaslighting me? Or am I a monster?

I don't recall ever seeing you say anything racist here. If you did, it wouldn't take long to get banned. Herd mentality doesn't excel in critical thinking. Many humans are irrational and so too may be what motivates their actions. I'd ask what you said, but that could potentially get you in trouble if it was racist.

Dreadfully sorry to hear that. It is a good idea to write a letter stating what happened and that you really don't understand the decision. Send it to the head of the place that does the course.

what happened was that there was a professor, who was black, and she told us that we hadn't learned anything on last week and what I told was that I felt it was disrespectful to us and the professor from last week, who happens to be white. I didn't thought about race in that time, but they did. The worst thing is that people build up what happened a lot – to a point I started thinking that I was talking nervously, but I just find out a girl was recording an audio of the class and there is the part when I was speaking and I sounded very calm.

I feel an awful person questioning an accusation of racism, but as much I understand how it can give a bad message, me a white person defending another white person against a black person, I don't think it makes me such a bad person. Anyway, they said it wasn't the main thing because after that they received a lot of complains saying I was being rude to other girls and they didn't felt safe around me. I tend to be very direct, and I don't understand much of social rules... like if someone is saying they did something they didn't, I don't think is wrong to call them on it? But they seem to think it is. Someone brought up I never lunched with the black girls from the course (but I always lunch alone since a girl complained about the smell of my food), and that I complained about once when we went to visit a company that the girls spent too much time complaining about their diversity policies – what I meant with that is that a company won't solve minority issues, as much well intentioned they are, they just can't, we should focus on public politics for that and it was a pity it disturbed the event we were going to attend because I really was interested in a talk we end up not having.

I don't know, they were really mad at me to expell me. But I still don't think I behaved the way they are saying I behaved. I feel a bit lost with it, because maybe there is something off on how I behave?

I talked twice with the two people who are the co-founders of the course. First, she just told me the thing about racism and I told her that maybe I should quit the course – because I really felt sorry I was creating such annoyance to other people. She told me to not, that I should focus on coding and let things get better. It was a did, and it cost me a lot because people sounded hostile to me, and I felt uncomfortable there. Meanwhile, I even decided to postpone my graduation project at university. Three weeks after, they called me to say they would expel me because they kept receiving complaints about me. I was shocked and sad, I said I didn't understood, that I was trying to code and be nice. I even baked bread to people once! Also, I told it was cruel because I had said I would leave and they just made me attend more weeks to change their mind? Without even warning me I would be in some kind of probatory period. I don't know, I told them I thought it was unfair but they said it was their final decision. She even told me some girl wrote that she was cured from depression and started to take meds again because of me, I felt it was such a harsh thing to say?

I'm really lost because I feel I did something terribly and I should be rethinking it but I don't even know what!! Should I just start censoring myself and don't put my opinion to people? I don't know. I'm really sad because I was really enjoying to code, I'm looking for some online course right now.

I do not envy today's youth. It sounds like a nightmare how quick people are to judge others and ostracize them in the name of social justice. I assure you it is not juvenoia on my part, we are all heading towards a great tragedy at what cost is anyone's guess.

I took a quick read of the posts. And sure, from what you have written i can understand why the professor or other students may perceive your comment as racist.

Although, not in a major way. Perhaps in an accidental misconstrued type of way that people with ASD
often do unintentionally.

Personally, i would have thought that a good teacher or professor would have taken into consideration any
conditions such as ASD, and got control over the other people in the class and college.
Racism as well as other types of issues can easily get political and out of hand in our day and age
and if one person with a big mouth gets hold of such gossip or creates it, that person can create a
gang hate campaign against you.

Where ironically, you become the victim rather than the instigator of trouble.

On a positive note, i know from my own reading coding can be learnt from home study books and online coding
schools, if you still want to learn.

It is that or perhaps wait till the next intake, as if you want to do it, you shouldn't let this minor mishap set you back.
I would just apologise and try and explain that you didn't mean to sound racist, and try and get people to forgive you.

Hope that helps.

I don't think you did anything wrong. Why should it be ok for them to voice their opinions but not you? That is a sick double standard!

Do you live in a Bible Belt-like area in Brazil? Considering Jair Bolsonaro's election, I wouldn't be surprised.

One of the problems with academics today in the United States is they have become a tinderbox of conformity. If you say anything against the norm, you can be attacked without hesitation. Unfortunately this is not only in the U.S. but also Europe.

So I do not know if this is prevalent in Brazil, but let us look at discrimination.

The Brazilian Constitution prohibits all forms of discrimination (age, race, color, national origin, disability, religion, sex, marital status, political affiliation, pregnancy, and citizenship) by federal and state governments and the country's population.

According to another article Under a 2012 law, people living on the spectrum have the right to lead a dignified life, protection from abuse, access to health care, jobs, education, social assistance, and an early Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. But what’s written in ink may not reflect reality.

Source: Treatment Pending: Legally Obligated to Treat Autism, Brazil Lacks Resources

So the question that comes to mind is "Has your rights been violated? Have you been deprived an education because you were expelled from a class because you are part of the spectrum of autism?" As an Aspie, we are often misunderstood. It is part of who we are, part of our difference. NTs try and read us because they look for signal from our eyes and the wrinkles around our eyes, that we do not project.

So I think you may have grounds to ask for a hearing to appeal on the grounds that you were discriminated against.

Think about this. The first initial complaint was a single event. The other complaints came in AFTER the first event. Do you see a pattern forming here? Let me elaborate further....
If the complaints had come in a natural order, then the head of the college would be calling you in after each complaint. It would be a fair expulsion as it would be first warning. Second warning. Expulsion.....
If they all came in as a group, then the complaints have an organizer. This is victimization and the head of the college should be looking to trace the organizer.
I do fully understand that if someone has communication difficulties things can be a little stressful to others who may not understand this. But a college should make ways around this even if it means a one to one study.

It seems to me like people were blaming racism on things when race wasn't a factor at all. They are looking for an excuse to get rid of you because they don't like you due to your social awkwardness & communication issues that are related to Aspergers. Assuming your diagnosed with something like autism, you might have grounds to sue for disability discrimination but you'd likely have to prove somehow that the ways you acted were in fact due to something like autism instead of race. You would need an authority on autism in your corner to back things up.

You don't "always mess things up"

If there is one exception, the whole statement is false


Based on your description, it sounds, to me like, miscommunication

But strangers on the internet do not have authority over the situation

Get a diagnosis

Disclose to the school

If you have $$$, you could sue.

Disability discrimination


Lawsuits take two years

Lawyers charge 600 hour

The outcome is not guaranteed

Short of winning a lawsuit, you can't make anyone do anything