"Just be friendly."

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I was talking to my therapist about how whenever I interact with female strangers, my mind will cycle through thoughts like "Should I ask for her number?", "Does she already have a boyfriend?", "Has my time finally come?", "Does she even find me attractive?", and other thoughts that honestly make me crazy. Her response was basically this: "Just be friendly with women. Don't have any ulterior motives. You don't want to come off like a predator. You need to get to know them first."

Last edited by Marknis on 28 May 2019, 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds like she gave you sound advice, you should take it.

Perfectly sound advice, because (1) she’s a professional therapist, and (2) she’s a woman. Either count makes her knowledgeable. Both counts make her an expert.

Are you sure your therapist said " You don't want them to come off like a predator" - that's crazy talk

It's best not to come across desperate but the thoughts you have does not make you a predator - tell your therapist Ferris said she's a quack.

If it seems like your mind is elsewhere when you’re talking to a girl instead of on the current conversation, it could send some mixed signals and she won’t know how to take you.

The advice is sound.

Look you should take all this pick up artist and dating coach advice with a grain of salt Marknis.

Last edited by Zack1994 on 28 May 2019, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Since his therapist sees him in person, she might be more knowledgeable about how he comes across than we are.

"You don't want to come off like a predator" Fixed.

I meant to say that she told me "You don't want to come off like a predator to them."

Why the f**k did you comment then ?

No you don't , why did she suggest this , did she say your behaviour suggested this ?

Umm...that was rude.

I was just sharing my personal experience of how it feels when I’m talking to someone and his mind appears to be elsewhere. I wasn’t referring to the “predator” comment.

I’m not sure why we would question the potentially helpful advice she was offering. This could be a path towards progress for Marknis.

Well I was referring to the predator comment , If you think "Should I ask for her number?", "Does she already have a boyfriend?", "Has my time finally come?", "Does she even find me attractive?", are predator thoughts you're mental

I didn't date in high school and I turned 18 single while most of my classmates were dating, having sex, etc. so it terrified me that I was going to be alone forever. This was also the root of the clinical depression I suffer from. I was socially isolated, didn't have my own vehicle, and lived in the suburbs so those things only reinforced my fears.

When I reached my 20's and couldn't even get a coffee date despite "putting myself out there" instead of waiting for women to approach me like I used to do and hope it would happen, I started feeling like my time was running out.

I am 30 now and I don't want to live to my 40's if things do not get better

If you meet a girl keep it casual and ask her to do stuff a few times before asking her out

I mentioned to her how I tend to get approached by proselytizing Christians to join their churches and it's very invasive when they do that. She compared that to asking girls for their numbers without getting to know them first.