AS woman sorry to all the Men who didn’t kno what to do

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I’m a 33 yr old self-diagnosed female Aspie, and it has taken many years to even start unveiling a sense of acceptance about this. I’ve attempted to share this in my dating life but it seems there is never a right time to reveal or have this discussion (*fingers crossed* still optimistic one day the right guy tho, right?!)...

Sometimes it feels as it female Aspies - if they are like me - could have a childlike innocence that is always open to “falling in love again...” and again, and again, and again... but how to sustain this in a long-lasting relationship, and especially if you’re with a Neurotypical partner or even someone else on the spectrum.

I’ve overwhelmed them all. Sometimes they freeze, other times they lash back out, and then abandon. Recently there’s been one who has been able to communicate his discomfort to me, which helps me to see it from their perspective. Okay, drop it then.

I can see how many guys that I’ve dated have probably been licking their wounds “What did I do wrong?!?!”

And I feel like I need to say on here,

— Actually, you didn’t do anything wrong. You just didn’t have any awareness about Autism or Aspergers or spectrum disorders and how “any pretty girl” could possibly be on that spectrum. Anyone that you chase and date.

There just isn’t enough awareness, even tho sometimes for those who’ve grown up in friends and family circles where a diagnosis is provided quite early on, it’s probably easier to have that support. But for myself, it’s been a very isolated self-discovery.

And I’ve only just joined the forums now (previously just lurked and read some threads from time to time!)

Anyway just wanted to I guess put that out there, sorta semi-introducing myself on here, as well as, hopefully one day if some guys stumble upon this and realise some form of relief then that’s good too.

And I really appreciate all the Autism/Aspergers research, authors, and plenty of bloggers, vloggers, people who do share their own personal experiences whether with the diagnosis or as Neurotypical friends and family of... every sharing helps. Every bit of information helps.

Thanks!

Welcome. Unless someone is diagnosed with autism as a child, it's safe to say that nearly all adults who are professionally diagnosed first start their journey with self-diagnosis; I know I did. I would suggest that you continue to think of yourself and continue to refer to yourself as self-diagnosed unless/until you're professionally diagnosed.

WP is a great place!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome!

I wonder whether you'd needed to tell people that you're dating right away that you're on the autistic spectrum at all, I'm not saying you don't ever, do you think you gave people a chance to see whether they were compatible with you in the ways that might matter, or that what they saw in you in the first place was what they needed in a relationship rather than pointing out something that might be more important later as the relationship progressed.