A Missunderstanding When Young!

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Well. When I was about 14 my dad said "I don't want you to be playing around with women". I looked at him rather puzzled, and he said "You know what I mean".
It was difficult for me as in school I often found the girls were easier to befriend then the boys as I found I wasn't that popular with boys of my age apart from one or two who also found they didn't fit in so well, so some of the girls being a bit different were easier to get along with.
However, how was I going to obay my dad without upsetting the girls in my school? Well, I thought the best way was to slowly distance myself from them so it wasn't seen as I was not friends as I didn't want to upset them, but I then just kept to the one or two friends who we seemed to find ourselves pushed together as we were on the fringes of school society... Getherally there were three of us. One was from my class who was different but I would not class him as being on the spectrum. (Is only very recently that I know what asperges and autism is and I don't know if I have it or just share traits of it, though I believe I do have it from what I have learned since joining this site). The other one (Or two) were similar to us as being "Missfits" but younger.
Now it is only much later in life that I know what my dad meant... He meant not to have sex witn girls. He assumed I knew what he was talking about!
It makes me think what other things I have not fully understood as I don't really get hints and I may have lost out. I have heard that a few ladies over the years were hinting they wanted to go out with me and I didn't get their hints. For me it was "Why did she say that?" which would puzzle me for a long time (Especially if I fancied her) and I would eventually confide in my mum (Sometimes a long time later) who would say "She was asking you out!"
I could have been married several times over if I noticed hints! Haha.
But it does go to show that we may not always be able to make sense of what people say to us.

Why is this important to you 33 years later?

Let him be.

I'm sure some of our users can benefit from the OP's story of his experience.

We all have a story to tell. This isn't a newscast from CNN Live...

I just want to know.

Some 50-ish friends of mine have suddenly started obsessing about childhood experiences, and I would like some insight as to why this happens (... they don't want to explain it either).

I obsess about childhood experiences, and I’m not 50 yet.

Yes, I had a lot of similar experiences and missed signs of interest from the op-sex. Afterwards people would ask 'why didn't you say yes?' and I would say 'What! was I asked a question?' then I'd get a pitying look.

Hi Fluffy. Long Time No See

Ahhh Fnordi, mountain goat is just realising that he may have Aspergers and is realising many things that have affected who he is today. He is wondering if he made life changing decisions that have been detrimental to his happiness because of misinterpreting what his father said regarding women.

You think that this is crying over spilt milk and counter-productive perhaps. I can see your point. I think though that MG is just trying to figure out the way aspies take things literally and misinterpret things, and to correlate this to himself. Suddenly he has contact with people who are similar to himself. It is a path of self-discovery that MG has embarked on with great courage, faith and optimism. He is awesome ! (as are you Fnord).

When you're going through experiences, you are too busy surviving to think much about it. Experiences from my childhood, teens and more recent past are coming back to me now. I believe things I did, and good habits I failed to develop when younger, are beginning to affect me. I have improved a lot from the person I was eight years ago but the improvements are far smaller now. I know I have a lot of work to do to become fully independent and the task seems daunting at times. I will continue to work at it, though.

Maybe your friends feel their youth has slipped away and reminiscing about the past makes them feel more potent??

This makes sense...... and this does not. I am only curious why some people suddenly start obsessing over past events.

I feel there's nothing wrong with thinking about the past---and learning from it.

But---regretting what you've done in the past---is usually a waste of time.

I've done many things that I regret, and I'm still paying for some of them today.

But to obsess about it, I find, is usually detrimental to one's present functioning.

I don't see anything wrong with Mountain Goat reflecting upon the past. I would see something wrong if he allowed it to affect his present and his future.

Sometimes current behavior is determined by past experiences and introspective people find it interesting when they make those connections.

It’s also a way to grasp and reaffirm one’s identity, I think.

I understand that. I'm pretty introspective at times. I've felt the same way Mountain Goat has felt.

Like I said, I don't disagree with anybody reflecting upon the past.

I just don't like it when it "hits" them, and they become depressed because of it. Especially if it's been resolved already.

If it's been resolved already, why stew about it?

There are things in my life that have not been resolved; and I stew about them plenty!

Thank you Teach51. You are a great friend.

Something you said... I do have a concern. What if when I am diagnosed I am found not to be on the spectrum? Why the concern? Well. I am understanding myself far more then I ever have in my past as in the past I habe been drifting along without knowing who I am (Well, not quite but along those lines), and now things are starting to make sense, I am understanding myself more. Now if it is found that I am not on the spectrum it will feel like another rug pulled out from beneath my feet.. where I will be back to drifting through life again... (If that makes sense?)

Thanks everyone for your comments and replies. You lot are brill.