Someone special is back in my life a bit.

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cberg
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11 Jun 2019, 10:59 am

We have a lot of chaos & anxiety to put behind us but I'm finally feeling more at peace with a good friend of mine. I'm concerned that my anxiety about my ASD & various other health/trauma issues has given her pause. We have a lot of mutual appreciation but I know I have to work on communication decisively to make us both more comfortable. We've known each other for ten years anyway.

To be honest, she's the only person to ever really get through to me. She's a lifesaver & actually does that for a living now, as a therapist/art teacher for kids. I know my past makes friends pretty nervous around me, almost as much as I'm always nervous. The same problem is all the more intense with someone I care so much about. It's obvious to me that we're good for each other but I don't think I ever had a "love language", which really threw us both for a loop. She knows about my ASD but I don't think she knows how much she helped me with it. I have no idea where I would be without this person, I probably wouldn't have a home & I might otherwise not be alive.

Clearly I have to mentally slow down & pay more attention to both of us. I'm just wondering out loud on here, any wise words WP has for me would be awesome. I'm optimistic, I just don't know how to help her see why.


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Jun 2019, 11:02 am

I'm happy for you cberg. What a sweet post! I think I remember you mentioning her last year. I know how much you care for this person. Continue to focus on your positive emotions rather than your anxiety.

If I think of any specific advice, I'll let you know.

:heart:



kraftiekortie
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11 Jun 2019, 11:54 am

Keep it simple.....



cberg
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11 Jun 2019, 2:12 pm

Yeah, if I only had one thing to offer, that would be my blue sky thinking. Adversity over time has made me a pretty serious optimist, whereas most of the world around me is becoming more cynical.

I have to strike a balance there.


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"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


Alterity
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11 Jun 2019, 3:14 pm

cberg wrote:
Yeah, if I only had one thing to offer, that would be my blue sky thinking.


Silly guy, YOU are the thing to offer. Your thoughtfulness, your loyalty, your affection, your gratitude, your optimism, your willingness to work and more. What you have to offer is you always trying to be your best you.

Don't worry about trying to get her to see why you're optimistic or otherwise. Just be so, be supportive and I'm sure the message will reach her. Enjoy your time together, try not to overthink it. :wink:


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cberg
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11 Jun 2019, 4:39 pm

:) I'm always worried about the subtext of anything I say. I'm deliriously happy when she's around, hopefully I can make that more obvious without being stereotypically "creepy". I'm rubbish at verbalizing these things.

kraftiekortie wrote:
Keep it simple.....


Right you are. I need to meditate on exactly this. My life is extremely complex but I want simplicity regarding people I love to be more than a facade on my part.

I'm trying to distinguish my thoughts on logic & digital architectures from my personal thoughts. I want to show her I'm good for more than machines.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


that1weirdgrrrl
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11 Jun 2019, 6:34 pm

Awww, I hope you two enjoy your time together :heart:

Just have fun and try not to worry



cberg
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12 Jun 2019, 10:12 am

I know I have less to worry about than a lot of people but it remains difficult to stop.

Here's wishing I could thank WP enough.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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12 Jun 2019, 2:06 pm

Quote:
Silly guy, YOU are the thing to offer. Your thoughtfulness, your loyalty, your affection, your gratitude, your optimism, your willingness to work and more. What you have to offer is you always trying to be your best you.


How easily I can forget these things! I suppose despite being kind of a hot mess, I can hold space & help us enjoy ourselves. If only I could do that in a text. :(


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2019, 4:19 pm

Alterity wrote:
cberg wrote:
Yeah, if I only had one thing to offer, that would be my blue sky thinking.


Silly guy, YOU are the thing to offer. Your thoughtfulness, your loyalty, your affection, your gratitude, your optimism, your willingness to work and more. What you have to offer is you always trying to be your best you.

Don't worry about trying to get her to see why you're optimistic or otherwise. Just be so, be supportive and I'm sure the message will reach her. Enjoy your time together, try not to overthink it. :wink:



Sexual Attraction doesn’t work like this way though, his good deeds/attitude are no guarantee.

Attraction is not a vending machine to which you fill it with good deeds/attitude coins and voilà....



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jun 2019, 4:20 pm

How old are you now, cberg?



cberg
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12 Jun 2019, 6:43 pm

I'm 25, thus I'm well aware of that. Ultimately she's someone worth knowing regardless. I'm thankful for our report & for the most part right now it's that simple.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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12 Jun 2019, 9:09 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alterity wrote:
cberg wrote:
Yeah, if I only had one thing to offer, that would be my blue sky thinking.


Silly guy, YOU are the thing to offer. Your thoughtfulness, your loyalty, your affection, your gratitude, your optimism, your willingness to work and more. What you have to offer is you always trying to be your best you.

Don't worry about trying to get her to see why you're optimistic or otherwise. Just be so, be supportive and I'm sure the message will reach her. Enjoy your time together, try not to overthink it. :wink:



Sexual Attraction doesn’t work like this way though, his good deeds/attitude are no guarantee.

Attraction is not a vending machine to which you fill it with good deeds/attitude coins and voilà....


I wonder if Alterity can split the difference between our viewpoints on this. It's not as if the odds were ever in my favor, I just appreciate someone's presence & I'm looking for better ways to get together more.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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13 Jun 2019, 11:36 am

I have to wonder if there's anyone else who relates to this at all. My threads in L&D tend to get ignored, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


that1weirdgrrrl
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13 Jun 2019, 11:55 am

cberg wrote:
I have to wonder if there's anyone else who relates to this at all. My threads in L&D tend to get ignored, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.


Fwit, I've noticed that women can grow attracted to men over time based on their interactions.

Men rarely if ever become attracted to women over time. Men tend to decide on day one if a woman is attractive or not, and that feeling doesn't usually change.