Bullied in every workplace

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You're right, I don't want anything to do with them. I don't actually want in their inner circle, I don't want their social approval whether they're bullying me or not. I just want to go in, do whatever and get my money. I know how to play the game and make it seem like I care about them, though, because the harassment and bullying just makes me miserable. The whole "kill 'em with kindness" deal. I don't even care if I lose my position there, in fact, I WANT something to happen so they cut me and I never have to go back there. I don't understand why they feel like they have to make me miserable when I've been nothing but sweet and helpful. The hate some people cultivate is just astonishing to me. Even if I'm upset, sad, etc., I don't seek to make someone else feel bad to feel better. I've never understood the logic behind creating even more negativity.

I do work harder than them, though, and run the food with the trays AND clean up/bus the tables and I noticed that not only did they cut my shift even shorter last night (6 - 9:30 became 6 - 9, which I don't mind at all tbh, good riddance) but they sent me to work in the back. I wonder if this is so I couldn't get any tips, because I was working the lobby and different customers, bringing them extra bread, checking up on them etc. and they didn't want me to get any more money? They could've joined in or followed my lead instead of standing around, though. And when they do that, they give me the evil eye. I see it.

My parents know about the camera but my mom still won't let me leave and look for a better job. But are measly 3-hour shifts only twice a week even worth the money? Sounds like they're trying to get away with paying me as little as possible.

I just want my camera back if I can't get out of this nightmare.

I will definitely check out Lynda, I've heard the name but never actually knew what it was about! Thanks

There is absolutely no way I misplaced my camera. I'm very good with my things and I'm a neat freak, I have a designated "spot" for everything. I did check every corner of the house though to make sure and nope, nothing, nada. I have a very simple life, no social life, I just go to work and home so I'm only in two places. That's the only explanation I can think of and I don't trust them not to go through my things. In fact, the thought occurred to me before my last shift, almost like a premonition that they were going to do something to me and tamper with my things.

However, I can tell they already hate me with a passion and I don't think they would return it. I feel like asking around would be a waste of energy or even give them more fuel to bully me, laughing at me/making fun of me because they did something with it and I'll never find out or get it back.

It sounds like they hate you because you seem like someone who is self-determined and that can often make other people jealous. As for the way they treat, you documenting it down and contacting the department of labor and maybe the EEOC about your situation because what they are doing is not right. Is there anyone there at all who you get along with that trusts you? In the meantime do your job because you have a right to work there without being made to feel bad.

It also sounds like learning how to assert yourself with people who bully you. One thing I have heard is that you can confront a bully by
1. Mimicking their body language
2. Asking them things like "What am I exactly doing that's bothering you?" If they accuse you of anything ask them, "Where are you getting this information coming from?" If they want to yell at you then walk away. If they pick on you, just politely and firmly tell them, "I am sorry if you dislike me but just like me, you are being paid here to work and I would appreciate it if you took care of your tasks." Then just walk away, there is no need for you to be there door mat.

Thanks a lot! That sounds like a really smart and effective approach. There is one woman in her fifties who works in the back, and they don't like her either. It's just bad company there. She told me it's all politics, and the ones they don't like are the first to get sent home early. She isn't popular with them, either, and they yell at her unfairly and talk down to her too. We hit it off the two times I've been sent in the back to work with her and I'm usually a reserved and quiet person but we never ran out of things to talk about and I couldn't shut up. We were laughing and singing a little and I like her a lot. I find myself getting along much more naturally with older people. I was that kid whose teachers were my friends instead of the other kids and I ate lunch in the classrooms. I feel like I would've thrived in a different time period sometimes and like I was born in the wrong era. Maybe because my parents raised me with values like respect, compassion, kindness and good work ethic. We had a lot in common, having met celebrities, music, love of Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac, etc. and it definitely made my 3-hour shift go by quicker. She isn't like them at all. I learned that management decides who they like and dislike for no reason, I went ahead and told her about my camera and their behavior and she thinks that's definitely weird. There are too many mean people around here and I'm tired of being a victim and suffering or having bad things happen to me because they get a kick out of cruelty. I guess I'm not the only one.

I'm sorry they are giving you a hard time cherryglitter, there is no one you trust in the company that you could talk to? like HR?

I will look into that. It's ridiculous that regular associates are hiding their name tags and posing as "managers" to intimidate me.

When I was your age, I was in a similar situation with some co-workers who were making things miserable for me so I talked with a supervisor about it. He told me to tell the ones who were not your bosses or your supervisors

"Excuse me, I don't believe your name is on any of my paychecks and nor do you own this restaurant. Unless you were promoted to supervisor or manager, I would appreciate it if you did your work and minded your own business." Just keep on firmly letting them know that you aren't a doormat for you to step on.

There was a time when I was 16 and worked at a McDonald's, there was another co-worker who was the girlfriend of one of my managers. In the beginning, she thought she would boss me around and put me down. So I had my mom learn talk to the manager about her, while she picked on me one more time. I said, "Ooooh, keep your mouth shut." After that, she never bothered me again.

LOL I had a teenage coworker who was involved with one of the managers too! She was very sweet though and one of the only ones who didn't bully me. She did get special treatment and a fast promotion, though.

Yikes!

As for the woman in her 50's, it sounds like investing your time in her is the best thing along with just learning to assert yourself.

Know again, it's okay to cry and find a place where they will not find you.

I used to work as a waitress and one girl was always bossing me around and word got around that I was slow at my job. I was always friendly to her and everyone and because I was polite eventually people started to side with me and I didn't have to say anything - someone went and reported the girl for being a bully and I was just seen as "a nice person who is slow at her job" which is better than bully or "the difficult one". Sometimes being patient and nice to everyone pays off. Also staying FAR away from gossip. If you give people reasons to dislike you and are not "powerful" enough to face the consequences you will get into trouble. ><

I am not bullied at my workplace, I am even popular between the colleagues. That has been confirmed by my boss a few times.

But I the higher management seems to underestimate me terribly. They block any progress in my work, they use my ASD for getting subsidy to lower salary costs. They don't feel any responsibility towards me. I want to discuss this later on after two weeks, before the summer vacation starts.