Not being able to "let things go"

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I seem to be incredibly bad at letting things go.

Small things can make me feel really frustrated, especially when I'm in the right and the other person is just plain wrong (like absolutely no evidence whatsoever that they are right and me being factually correct) and they cant understand it.

Example: I still get furious when I think about how some person thought it was okay to pass of her parrots are her service animals (in a Nordic EU country) and take them to the grocery store. This is 100% illegal according not only to EU law but also the local law.

I shouldn't get so irrationally angry but I DO! I really want to be able to let things go, at least improve my ability to do so.

I also have trouble letting things go, sometimes for months or even years. But that is usually about the things when I feel someone humiliated me personally in some way. And part of the reason why I wouldn't let them go is that the people that are telling me to let them go are the ones that are (wrongly) convinced that they are right and I am wrong. Well, if it is "not that important", as they tell me, why do they INSIST so hard not to take my side. So apparently it IS important. The only reason its "not that important" is that they won and I lost. At least thats how it feels to me.

Same

I have a HUGE problem of not letting things go but it’s something I want to work on improving.

Obsessive compulsive disorder is comorbid with autism

I tend to hold grudges

Frequency intensity duration

Its mostly the lil dips**ts' attitude

They act like they have never done anything wrong before

I am the same way. I tend to not be able to "let things go" in situations like you describe (where someone has done something that's upsetting to me) and also with myself, if I make a mistake, or don't handle a social situation well. It's hard to stop obsessing over it.

I was bad at this years ago but therapy helped me fix it so I can let things go a lot sooner.

I'm in the same boat as you.

Therapy hardly "helped" me

Therapy had no visible impact on grudges

f**k Jeanne Courtney

And I was with her two years

I have a hard time with this as well, especially when I remember people saying I couldn't accomplish something for whatever reason. I just had to work harder to accomplish it. Sometimes it could be a push and I didn't really get joy from my accomplishment. Sometimes, I still encounter this attitude, but it's very rare now that I am beginning to do more for myself. I have to focus on what I want to accomplish in the coming years, and follow my passions.

My boyfriend currently has a prescription for Prozac. Among other things it helps to reduce both irritability and grudge-holding. He can still get angry, but it's now much easier for us to work things out and resolve them. This has done wonders for our relationship.

My golden key to letting go has been EMDR, first from a qualified psychologist and sometimes alone, as taught.

It's hard to get over perceived grievances or arguments.

I would also notice this problem in a different way when I was younger where I simply could not tolerate moving on to a new discussion point until my thoughts had been fully expressed on whatever we had been discussing.

I feel like it's a feedback loop in the brain, possible related to memory, sensory, and emotional processing.

It's like being unable to forget, and also unable stop perceiving it. Sometimes getting over things feels as challenging as ignoring a leaky facet that is dripping on your head.

I do that too, even now. Thats why it sounds like I speak in monologues. In reality I want it to be a dialogue, but I feel like I need to communicate my response in full detail before the other person can give an "informed" response. But then when I get interrupted I find it super frustrating because if my response is "A and B" and I was interrupted when I was only in the middle of giving detailed picture of A, then I mislead the other person into thinking its "only A" which is a big distortion. So then I almost wish I didn't make a monologue and simply mentioned A and B equally briefly -- but I can't go back in time so now that I am in the middle of it I feel like finishing it. So then I would start speaking real fast just so that I could finish whatever it was I was going to say. I realize that when I speak fast the other person isn't listening (especially since they were trying to interrupt me anyway) but I still feel like saying it just so that I could pretend that they heard it I guess.

I definitely relate to being frustrated about being cut off in the middle of explaining an idea and feeling misunderstood. That will sit tensely on my mind the rest of the interaction.

You're right that briefly mentioning A & B (in your example) would have been superior. It's best to state a full, summarized perspective that you then provide context to if there seems to be social interest. Concision is essential, although it seems a great deal of individuals like ourselves can easily overexplain or make extensive prefaces to the core of our thought because we want to make certain we are interpreted clearly.