Telling people that you're on the spectrum

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At first it took me a few months to begin to, "understand", my spectrum diagnosis, so I never really mentioned it to anyone. However, now I want to be more open with those who know me about being on the spectrum. I have told a few people, (a few friends, family, teachers), and thankfully, everyone has been accepting. My main issue is I never know how to start the conversation, so it always begins with an awkward tone. How would you recommend I go about informing others, should I at inform them at all?

Aspies tend to communicate better with the written language than verbally. So if you write this down, It will allow you communicate the information better and more complete. It will give you time to think about what you want to say and how to say it precisely.

The other part of this question is to whom do you tell. Since Asperger's and Autism can affect the way people treat you, I would recommend you tell only a select few. I would keep the list to only those who have a need to know. One of the problems that you may encounter is called bullying, but it can be much more traumatic than that. It is better described as psychological and physical abuse by your peer group and can become even a form of torture. Aspies tend to receive significantly more bullying than neurotypicals. For males this tends to peak at Junior High School level and for females this tends to peak during High School. Even your best friends or those that you might believe are your friends can turn on you during those years. Therefore since you are 14 and have not experienced this, I would keep this information close to my vest and limit your diagnosis to only a select few. When you become an adult, you will have a better grasp of who you can trust with this information.

I agree with jimmy m

Welcome to wrong planet.

I would suggest limiting the people whom you inform IRL to those who need to know, but I would suggest that you also try to make a few autistic friends whom you can occasionally see in person. To that end, I would suggest:

1) In your profile here on Wrong Planet, give your "location" not just as "United States" but as the nearest major metropolitan area, or perhaps your state. (But don't be more specific than that, to preserve your anonymity here.) In response to that, someone here might be able to suggest a local support group that you and/or your family could attend.

2) Once you've changed your profile, post about your hobbies in the relevant sections of Wrong Planet. You might make some friends here on WP that way.

How would you recommend I go about informing others, should I at inform them at all?

People who know you and care about you will accept you even though they may not understand what "being on the spectrum" means. (In fact, it is a dubious explanation in itself)

Telling others may cause greater confusion so that your explanation needs an explanation. It might be better to avoid using any label and not say anything unless a specific situation calls for an explanation. In that case, you might find it more advantageous to describe yourself in an idiosyncratic way.

For example if someone feels that you are not participating sufficiently in a conversation, you may say, "I'm sorry, I have a tendency to focus too much such that I do not respond quickly in conversation." It can be advantageous to also include a humorous modifier such as, "I can keep people waiting for my response which they assume will be profound given the time I take for processing, but they are generally disappointed."

The occasional description of yourself in terms that acknowledge what others see, but in a way that can be considered tolerable can create a degree of social acceptance.

I only tell people who I know well that I'm on the spectrum. It's a difficult thing to go about explaining, but if it comes up in a conversation, I'll tell them about it.

Most people probably figure out for themselves that I'm neurodivergent in some way if they don't peg me as ASD. A lot of my friends are on the spectrum or have some similar disability so in many cases, it goes without being said.

It seems like you're doing good. It seems like it often just is awkward.

Before a full knowledge of ASD, I didn't tell anyone. I knew I was weird but was called every name you can think of. Then I began to tell on an only need to know basis. Now I don't even care.

I'm pretty selective with who I tell. All of my few close friends know, one older co-worker (like, my parents' age) who has a son on the spectrum knows, a few people (including both students and professors) from college know. I normally don't tell people I'm on the spectrum unless:

a) there is benefit to gain from certain people knowing, such as professors being more willing to offer an extension on a paper because of my subpar executive functioning and general slow processing speed, or

b) they tell me first that they have a friend/relative on the spectrum or I know in advance that they are more knowledgeable on autism than most NTs, such as this one anthropology professor at my university.

am pretty reluctant to discuss it with but a very few . unless if it seemingly could create a negative impact , if i do not explain my eccentricities... use language differently , normally applying expansive vocablulary and language to interaction .. people have judged me without merit. Certainly do not write or speak down to anyone , if at all can help it. But can get easily misjudged as doing that. Unfortunately , many with little understanding , usually NT s see a opportunity to make me a target and if have confided in them without awareness of this .Even at later years. People see it as fun to try to further disable my life it , would appear to me. And specifically the same type of people ,
Perhaps less ambitious ?
Do not consider myself as overly ambitious ,but if something needs to be done and noone else is willing or willing to do it right or within confines of legalities..then will do it my self.
so please be careful whom you confide in.