Do you have difficulty asking people out due to autism?

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NewTime
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18 Jul 2019, 4:26 pm

I do. Bad social skills. Because of such I don't know how to properly ask anyone out.



Zakatar
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18 Jul 2019, 4:35 pm

NewTime wrote:
I do. Bad social skills. Because of such I don't know how to properly ask anyone out.


Same. It sucks.


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Mountain Goat
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18 Jul 2019, 4:45 pm

I do find I have difficulty with this. I don't know if I have autism or not though, so it may just be that I find this something that is not easy. However, I have written about how easy it should be in theory to encourage each other to give it a try.


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that1weirdgrrrl
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18 Jul 2019, 5:11 pm

I had difficulty the first time I asked some one out, after that I got a lot more bold...

Act confident, but not creepy.

If someone declines your invitation to a date, do something nice for yourself to reward yourself for having the courage to even ask.

It's a tough world out there, but take heart :heart:


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Mountain Goat
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18 Jul 2019, 5:35 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
I had difficulty the first time I asked some one out, after that I got a lot more bold...

Act confident, but not creepy.

If someone declines your invitation to a date, do something nice for yourself to reward yourself for having the courage to even ask.

It's a tough world out there, but take heart :heart:


I can act confident. I don't know about creepy. I don't know how or how not to act creepy. But I know how to act confident.


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nick007
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18 Jul 2019, 7:23 pm

I'm pretty sure I never properly asked anyone out due to my ret*d social skills & a tendency to be direct & straightforward.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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18 Jul 2019, 9:45 pm

Of course.

I've actually had a lager-than-average number of relationships and sexual exoeriences, but in every single case it was the other person who initiated things. Even at my advanced age, I'm still incapable of making the first move.


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18 Jul 2019, 10:18 pm

I don't like asking out girls. Because I really don't know if I want to get married or not, I don't want to play with them emotionally. It's not a "Hurr durr you're a SNOWFLAKE you don't COMMIT to stuff ret*d lol" it's a case of simple courtesy. I do not excel at that but this I can practice; it's literally doing nothing.

So I don't.

Incidentally I have never even kissed a girl in my life. That is fine. I have a few friends who are girls, which is very nice. They are neat people.


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rdos
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19 Jul 2019, 2:44 am

No, the problem with asking girls out is not a social disability. It's actually more like a hang-up, and something that many ND cannot learn to do without a lot of discomfort. That's because our natural courtship doesn't work that way.



PurpleReject
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19 Jul 2019, 3:57 am

Only twice in my life I had what could be considered "girlfriends" and both of them took the initiative. Since then I've never been in a position where I wanted to ask someone out.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2019, 4:07 am

It's hard on everyone, not just on autistics.



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19 Jul 2019, 5:00 am

I have a cousin who has a son who is very social. He is simple minded, but a nice young man. He has no difficulty whatsoever asking girls out. He is still young and now had his third child from yet another relationship. He is quite forward. I asked him once how does he get a girlfriend so quickly? He said "I ask them!" So I then asked him how many ladies he asked out before I found another girlfriend. He said "Eighty. Maybe a hundred". I thought he was joking, but he was being truthfully serious. (I know him so know that even if it is not quite into those figures, it is still a lot!)
Now I feel rejected after one "No". But something about his character I admire. He is not blessed with any great intelligence, however, his character is such that if he makes a mistake (And he makes many! Mind you. I make a few as well in life), he laughs it off. Having the ability to laugh off your mistakes so you do not dwell on them is an incredible gift. I tend to go over mistakes years afterwards in my mind... I need to do what he does. Laugh at them, and move on.


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TheOther
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19 Jul 2019, 7:23 am

I never had problems asking anyone, only getting them to say yes. :lol:



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19 Jul 2019, 7:47 am

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nick007
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19 Jul 2019, 8:06 am

TheOther wrote:
I never had problems asking anyone, only getting them to say yes. :lol:
I've never gotten a Yes. I wouldn't of been half as uncomfortable asking if all the rejections I've gotten were nice.


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jimmy m
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19 Jul 2019, 9:32 am

I found it difficult to ask a girl out because I was an introvert, not because I was an Aspie. About half the people in the world are introverts and they generally have difficulty in this area. Being an Aspie only made it a little more difficult and awkward.


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