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Lely
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Joined: 31 Jul 2019
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Posts: 195
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31 Jul 2019, 2:42 pm

-unemployed
-no family
-no friends

-Broke up with boyfriend of a year today. Now I have nobody. I miss him but we weren't compatible anyway for many reasons so I understand it was only a matter of time.

Ex boyfriend often complained after social functions why I don't speak to his friends / family and sit like a statue. He also complained when I didn't speak to cashiers etc when they tried to talk to us. I told him when he met me I was already like that and why it didn't bother him then. He answered when he first met me he thought the reason I am so quiet and look bored all the time is because I look pale and skinny and therefore in his opinion undernourished and feeling physically unwell which he thought was the reason for me not talking to others. When he told me that I just gave up hope. Not only by observing my behaviour do others conclude something is wrong with me, but even by taking a glance at my ugly body shape and color. I'm pale, I know, but I have normal weight, but apparently I look skinny and malnourished. They observe passive, strange, weird behaviour and they think the explanation is obvious: it must be related to her skin color and eating habits.

I'm feeling alone and I don't know why I'm even alive and using up resources. I'm a waste because I don't even enjoy this life. I'm really cursed with this brain.

Sorry for the imperfect English.



shortfatbalduglyman
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31 Jul 2019, 9:16 pm

Match dot com

Although, you can do fine without or without a spouse

Nobody know "why" they are alive



wowiexist
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01 Aug 2019, 12:36 pm

People have probably told you this before but if you want to find someone you will find them. If you want to be single that’s okay too if it makes you happy. I was in my 30s before I met someone.



Mountain Goat
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01 Aug 2019, 12:44 pm

Don't give up hope Lely. You may be unique but this doesn't mean there is not someone special waiting for you. It is just a matter of finding him. Just keep your eyes open and see what comes your way.


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jimmy m
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01 Aug 2019, 3:13 pm

Around fifty percent of the world's population are introverts and the other fifty are extroverts. You are measuring your self worth through the eyes of an extrovert. Extroverts by their very nature are social beings. Many introverts lead good fulfilling lives. Just because they are introverts doesn't make them broken. Only different.


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quite an extreme
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02 Aug 2019, 7:42 pm

Lely wrote:
I'm feeling alone and I don't know why I'm even alive and using up resources. I'm a waste because I don't even enjoy this life. I'm really cursed with this brain.

Sorry for the imperfect English.


Einsamkeit ist dämlich, aber ich glaube, Du machst Dich im Moment selbst zu sehr fertig. Manchmal muß man erheblich umdenken und ein paar neue Dinge kennenlernen, um aus so einem bescheuertem Tief wieder rauszukommen.
Das Problem mit negativem Denken ist, daß sich so etwas viel zu schnell verselbstständigt und man aus so einem idiotischen Tief nie mehr wirklich rauskommt, wenn man da erst mal so richtig tief drin steckt. Das Hirn ist leider auch in Bezug auf negatives Denken äußerst lernfähig. Bitte versuche unbedingt, Dich vorwiegend mit positiven Dinge zu beschäftigen und geh öfters mal raus in die Sonne, bei Tageslicht wirken die Probleme kleiner und man bekommt auch etwas Farbe. :wink: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:
Das Leben ist toll, wenn man lernt, den negativen Dingen keine sinnlos große Bedeutung beizumessen und sich aus Prinzip von ihnen niemals unterkriegen läßt. Wenn Du möchtest können wir uns gern auch mal per PM bekannt machen und uns darüber unterhalten. Im Moment laufen die Dinge bei mir auch nicht alle perfekt aber zu jammern hift eh nicht weiter. Ich fände es jedenfalls toll, wenn mich auch mal gelegentlich mit jemand unkompliziert auf Deutsch über die Dinge austauschen könnte. :)

Sorry people but sometimes it's easier to talk a little bit in German.
The ones who like a translation may ask deeple for it because it's quite good at this:
https://www.deepl.com/translator


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Archmage Arcane
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10 Aug 2019, 1:52 am

Lely wrote:
-unemployed
-no family
-no friends

-Broke up with boyfriend of a year today. Now I have nobody. I miss him but we weren't compatible anyway for many reasons so I understand it was only a matter of time.

Ex boyfriend often complained after social functions why I don't speak to his friends / family and sit like a statue. He also complained when I didn't speak to cashiers etc when they tried to talk to us. I told him when he met me I was already like that and why it didn't bother him then. He answered when he first met me he thought the reason I am so quiet and look bored all the time is because I look pale and skinny and therefore in his opinion undernourished and feeling physically unwell which he thought was the reason for me not talking to others. When he told me that I just gave up hope. Not only by observing my behaviour do others conclude something is wrong with me, but even by taking a glance at my ugly body shape and color. I'm pale, I know, but I have normal weight, but apparently I look skinny and malnourished. They observe passive, strange, weird behaviour and they think the explanation is obvious: it must be related to her skin color and eating habits.

I'm feeling alone and I don't know why I'm even alive and using up resources. I'm a waste because I don't even enjoy this life. I'm really cursed with this brain.

Sorry for the imperfect English.


Your English is much better than my German. :)

Let's see... Ex sees person he thinks is defective and tries to 'fix' them. Been there.

Let's analyze: Your ex is complaining to you, an Aspie, that you're acting like an Aspie. Even after you told him that you were born that way and are fine that way, he still tries to 'fix' you. The last straw: He attributes your Aspie traits to improper diet.

No, he is definitely not compatible. This relationship is unsalvageable unless he learns to accept you as you are. It's easier to find someone else who will accept you as you are from the beginning.

Es tut mir leid.

Aller Anfang ist schwer.