I think I'm getting agoraphobia

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Lately I've only been going out the house to go to work, otherwise I have to force myself to go to the supermarket (which is literally only a 5-minute walk), or get my boyfriend to go instead if he's not at work.

I'm worried about it getting worse. Every time I arrange to meet a friend, I panic the night before the plan, and I have to text and say that I can't make it. It's not anxiety of seeing friends, it's anxiety of going out the house and being in public. My friends don't live local, so we have to get buses and meet halfway, rather than one of us go all the way to another's house. I love going out and meeting friends....but at the same time I'm having difficulties getting myself out the house unless I'm going to work.

I've been mildly agoraphobic on and off since I was about 20, but I think I know what has triggered it to be more moderate these days. About 3 weeks ago I went out to meet a friend, but on the way back I was on a very noisy, crowded bus (with a stranger sitting next to me), and there was a screaming kid on the bus too, and I got a panic attack. I felt I had to really mask my feelings to avoid showing myself up, and it was exhausting. I really wanted to get up and sit alone but it wasn't possible, as there was someone sitting next to me and all the single seats were taken, and there were lots of people standing. This was only at about 2pm, so it wasn't even rush hour yet.

So since then I've been avoiding going out because of the anxiety of crowds, kids and heavy traffic. Being stuck in traffic gives me anxiety, and where I live there are so many cars. I work evenings and nights so it's quieter and calmer when I walk to work (my boyfriend brings me home in his car, but by then there is no traffic at all).

I don't want to change my meds or anything. I'm just wondering, has anyone else had this? How did you overcome it, other than medication? Can CBT help? I can't keep isolating myself like this but it looks like I'm heading towards that.

Last Saturday I had planned to go to see my family, but when I woke up in the morning I suddenly felt like I couldn't face all the traffic and people. So I phoned my mum to say I won't be coming, and I stayed indoors all day where I felt safe and comfortable.

I have Agoraphobia. You have to have at least two of five fears to qualify for the diagnosis. I have three of the fears; claustrophobia, fear of crowds, and fear of going places alone (although I can't go places alone due to the severity of my autism).

"can cbt help?"


Cognitive behavioral therapy can "help", "hurt", both or neither

"Should", "can" and "will", are all different things


Some counselors are better than others


Counselors act like counseling is so valuable and awesome

Overvalue

Counselors are human being with, felony conviction and psychiatric diagnosis, just like everyone else

I helped an ex gf overcome agoraphobia, she hadn't left the house in 2 years, couldn't even walk by her windows. It took about a month of teaching her CBT exposure therapy exercises and practicing them together before she stepped outside her door. CBT is more effective than medications when it comes to treating agoraphobia. The more you give into your avoidance behaviors the worse your agoraphobia will become and the more you expose yourself to your fears the weaker those fears will become. You write a hierarchy with your fears ranking them from least to worst, you start at the bottom and work your way up, challenging the cognitive distortions that your anxiety comes up with along the way.

If I didn't know about the agoraphobia, I'd say the bad experience on the bus gave you PTSD.

Maybe reintroduce yourself to the outside in stages. First try poking your head out the door for a minute, then 2 minutes, then 5 minutes...

Flipping this on its ear, it would be nice if the NT world could accommodate us as much as we try to accommodate them, but I don't think they're able. I think it's just a skill gap most NTs (unfortunately) exhibit. Knowing that they are unable to help themselves, we need to try to deal with them as they are in the best possible way.

Exposure therapy doesn't work for me, a bit like my emetophobia problem (fear of vomiting). I went 17 years without throwing up, then when I caught a stomach bug nearly 2 years ago, my emetophobia got even worse than it ever has been.

But anyway, that's a different subject. This thread is about agoraphobia, another anxiety of mine (but not as severe as emetophobia). I seem to become drowsy if I'm in busy public places for too long, because of the constant masking I have to do. So if I do go out, I have to allow enough time to get back home and have a nap to 'recharge my battery' before going to work. I worry that I might not get to have a nap, because of being held up in traffic too long. I start feeling all sorts of negative emotions that I've got to keep inside, like agitation, frustration, panic and anxiety. Luckily I am able to control myself, because I do not want to draw any kind of attention to myself, but it's still not very comfortable to have to hold it all in and pretend to look relaxed.

I also have other fears when in public places, like fear of being confronted. I have often been a target before, and treated like my feelings are invalid to others, which gets to me a lot. One time I was sitting at a bus stop with lots of shopping bags waiting for a bus. There were about 6 other people on the bench with me, and they were around my age or older, but not elderly. Suddenly this woman appeared out of nowhere, glared at me and ordered me to get up to let an older lady sit down. The older lady wasn't in eyeshot or earshot of me, but if she had of been, I would have given up my seat there and then. But the fact that I was told to get up felt like a confrontation to me, and it triggered off an anxiety attack. If that woman had smiled and looked at all of us on the bench and said something like, "excuse me, is it OK if this lady sits down?" it wouldn't have been so bad. I would have got up and said, "sure, no problem", even if someone else on the bench done the same. But instead I felt unexpectedly turfed out of my place by a rather bossy person, and I felt embarrassed. After that I didn't go out for a week (I didn't have a job then so I literally didn't go out the house), but then I started to force myself to go out again. But that doesn't mean another situation won't knock me back again, and that is what I am afraid of.

It's a good thing I have a job, because that obliges me to go out at least once a day and mix with people. I'm fine at work, no social anxiety at all.

Do you have parks near where you live, Joe?

If you dont want to take a bus can you drive?

Please, enough with the exposure therapy already - it won't work on me. I often exposure myself to public places all the time (except for this week) but I still get anxious and get set back again.

maybe agoraphobia is not such a bad thing

When I go out and about I often like to listen to music. It gives me something structured, familiar, and enjoyable to absorb myself in. And it reduces the chances that a person will interact with me. Also gives me a chance to understand what's going on and collect myself between when they seem to want to interact and when I pull the headphones out.