How do people tell when to start talking to someone?

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I wanted to put 'a conversation with' instead of ' talking to' in the title bar , but couldn't . A relationship with another person depends on initially striking up a conversation with them, but for the life of me I have no idea how a person A sitting opposite person B on a train(using that as an example) would know whether to strike up a conversation with person B . Yet plenty of people seem to know instinctively how and when to do so.

I wouldn’t. I’m fairly withdrawn and aloof.

My question was one of curiosity more than intent.
I wouldn't say I'm aloof, but I don't make a great effort to socially engage with people outside of family/stepfamily . I'll be polite though if ever in such a situation . I'm not sure about being socially withdrawn.

Instinct -- you mean body language and tone detection.
It varies in which culture eye contact or tones is used for -- or other cues besides that.

This has nothing to do with being aloof, asocial, or withdrawn.
More to do with how you pay attention to people and read people in general.

In autism, it's more about how overwhelming, distracting, seemingly unnecessary or just plain unnatural it is -- the 'cues' initially has no context or meaning, or that the context is too vague and could mean anything in which causes a lot of anxiety to the socially conscious.

If you wanna learn, just observe and have enough data to deduce the vague cues that people is giving.
If that doesn't help, you'll need a direct and an explicit manual from a trusted one who could, possibly, explain what is naturally occurring to allistics -- then observe base on that info.



I have fewer issues in initating or knowing if someone is approaching me, as long as I feel like doing it or that I have to. Sometimes I forgot how to do it, sometimes I'm very certain how to do it and got it right.
My issues is more about.. When to stop talking to someone and when I'd want the conversation to end.

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I never do, the other person would have to start the conversation.

If I want to start a conversation with someone, I’ll ask a “leading question” or make a “leading statement” that’s relevant to the situation—such as “Man, is it hot!” Or....”When do you think the train might get going?”

If no response or a terse one, I won’t pursue the conversation.

I used to start more conversations than I do now.

My experience has been that establishing eye contact generally allows one of the people involved to begin speaking. In the scenario you mentioned of two people on a train, if one of them is absorbed in a newspaper and never looks up, no talk takes place. That is barring some kind of calamity, such a the train suddenly going around a curve throwing one of them to the floor or worse onto the other one, then talking ensues for sure even if it is only profuse apologies. I think that is why eye contact is considered SO important. Without it, no communication of any sort happens. Even if its only to wave at someone, eye contact must be made first. Since so many of us have trouble making proper eye contact, its understandable why we don't have many conversations. Likewise, that is why wearing shades is such a relief for us. Even if we look at the other person, they don't know it so no attempt at greeting or conversation results.