single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced?

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I am constantly single. Such is life with Asperger's.

No one ever desires you. If they do, they have a species of freakishness to end all freakishness!

And even they dump you after a while.

Yet another reason Asperger's is hell on Earth.

remember it is THEIR LOSS. here is a poem i found that seems to speak to this feeling-

"Oh, hi ho in the lavender wood
A sterile cuckoo is crying.
Oh, hi ho in the lavender snow
A sterile cuckoo is dying.
In the darkness of her heart
It is always three o'clock in the morning."

but it is time again for the fortitude, and to say resoundingly, "it is THEIR LOSS!"

I was in a relationship with someone who I strongly suspect was undiagnosed ASD (and I was undiagnosed at the time too, and not even thinking I could be). It was a mega disaster, although we did have a lot of fun together. I was his first girlfriend so he had no idea what he was doing. The thing that annoyed me the most was that he would be too "honest" about things, like when he compared me to other women he liked before (it was usually positive but made me uncomfortable). He would also get really mad at me when I didn't do the specific things he wanted me to do. Haha. We were a mess. I do miss hanging out with him though, but we haven't spoken in years. I broke up with him and he was not pleased about it.

i know why the hermit stays in his hole.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we plan on staying together. We went through a pretty big rough patch a few years ago when I had an extended burnout combined with chronic disease flare up. My partner thought I’d stopped loving him because I got so withdrawn from regression and fatigue. Thankfully I learned about burnout on WP and also got my health back on track. My partner is very understanding and patient and we were able to get through it.

I can manage to keep a romantic relationship going but friendships are another story.

Well done! Sounds like you've met the right guy.

I agree, friendships are tricky.
For example, when I find someone I like, I tend to go all in and become way too intense and want to get really close, as if it were a romantic thing. So the person backs off rapidly - even though I genuinely just wanted to be friends.
So next time I try to be cool about it, but then the person thinks I'm being distant and unfriendly. Aargh.
Then there's the times I assume colleagues are friends when they're just being nice, because they're nice to everybody. It's like I never learnt where the boundaries are between acquaintances and friends or friends and lovers. I think that's an AS thing?

Yeah I found a good one for sure <3

Oh man that sounds just like me, not understanding boundaries. I think I’ve slept with most of my female friends. Girls were often attracted to me and the ones who were were often a bit different like me and sometimes we would transition to friendship. I could never keep them going though. It’s different now that I’m older, moved to a small town and my relationship has turned monogamous. I guess if I want friends now I’m going to have to learn some other ways of finding them. Maybe next year. It hasn’t been a priority.

There’s no option for “happily separated or divorced.”

That’s me!

Me too.

She was a very wise woman.

She also said, “Stockings are an invention of the devil.”

I can confirm the accuracy of such a declaration.

I may have felt the same, but once it happened, I managed to adapt. It’s also special to bond with a kid over mutual special interests and similar experiences that I can relate to and which a nonASD parent might not.

It’s helped to further cement our bond although he does drive me nuts sometimes. He’s sensory seeking and I’m sensory avoidant. Provided that there’s nothing dangerous going on (he’s 8 ), i sometimes have to go to my room and give myself a time-out.

I’m a huge advocate of parents taking 5 minutes to breathe and de-stress. Probably a lot of child abuse could be avoided if all parents did this.

Jeez, I’m off-topic today...

So to get back on topic you are happily divorced

I’m happily separated. I might divorce someday, but I don’t want to remarry so maybe I won’t bother.

Ok happily separated...

I'm happily separated and I look forward to my divorce.

I am multiple times divorced. Mostly they were (or at least attempted to be) exploitative relationships that lasted for a few years but then came to sudden ends when it became clear I wasn't going to happily be the compliant follower my partners wanted.

Now I am going through menopause so the time has passed for establishing a family, so my interests in male companionship are more along the lines of desiring an adventuring partner rather than pursuing another domestic scenario.

My overall thinking is that I'd rather invest in other areas of life first before getting involved with others again, but loneliness is difficult and on top of that, against ridiculously stupid odds there actually turned out to be a single, attractive guy working in the grocery store of the small town I just moved back to where we share a lot in common and there's way too much chemistry to be comfortable with, but we both completely fail at social interaction (he is also neurologically challenged, but from injury rather than an inherent disorder), so it seems impossible to tell whether this is a positive or negative thing. It often seems like both even within the same encounter, so it's stressful either way.

But that also led to me finding WP as the stress pushed me to be more proactive about admitting my needs for friendship and mutual support instead of putting them off for a more convenient time when I can feel more confident about what I can offer, because I've learned well enough there are dangers in remaining vulnerable and alone.