How did you make friends at university?

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kjeezy0127
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01 Oct 2019, 9:09 pm

I would say your best bet to make friends is clubs and your living situations. I made friends through my dorm and apartment living situations. I also made some friends through joining clubs and organizations. You could also use this technique for study buddies in class you can exchange numbers with someone in the class in case you miss class and then invite them for a study session.



248RPA
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07 Oct 2019, 10:45 am

UPDATE

I helped two people in my Bio class study for an exam. I suppose you could say they are quirky. I don’t see them every day, but when I do, I just ask if I can join them in whatever they’re doing, like having dinner. I went grocery shopping with them a few times and one invited me to her dorm a few times.


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SharonB
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07 Oct 2019, 11:43 am

248RPA wrote:
UPDATE

I helped two people in my Bio class study for an exam. I suppose you could say they are quirky. I don’t see them every day, but when I do, I just ask if I can join them in whatever they’re doing, like having dinner. I went grocery shopping with them a few times and one invited me to her dorm a few times.


Yea!! !! !! or alternatively: good. :D



kraftiekortie
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07 Oct 2019, 12:15 pm

If I did what you did, I would feel good.



Trophonius
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07 Oct 2019, 12:25 pm

I didn't.



Rainbow_Belle
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09 Oct 2019, 2:16 am

I made no friends at University. My degree ended up being debt and regret. I wish I never wasted time and money on a worthless degree.



JD12345
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09 Oct 2019, 4:40 am

I did not, as such.

An effort was made during "Fresher's Week". I tried communicating with my housemates, drinking and eating with them, etc. But it became too exhausting and futile before too long. Even worse than that were my efforts in 'societies', where certain people gave off the impression of being actively dismissive. University, particularly during the first year, seems to be too dominated by herd mentalities, which I'm not overly partial to. Still, this turn of events would have surely been worse for someone who had masses of friends during high school, which I did not.



Whale_Tuune
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22 Nov 2019, 2:22 pm

I spent a long time trying to do that. I'm now a Junior. It doesn't work, and we all need to be kinder to ourselves while also learning to be kind to others (whether or not they perceive us to be "normal". :T)

So, I guess what I am saying, is when you start Uni, a lot of times people on the spectrum desire strongly to reinvent themselves in college. They felt abnormal and defective in high school, and now they want full assimilation in college. They may have been convinced by others that this was possible (I know I was). It's a devastating blow year after year to remember that yep, I'm still Autistic. And I always will be.

If you want to form a study group, honestly just do so. Or ask a classmate about notes or something. That may turn into friendship, may not. Either way, it's a help. There are also usually tutoring programs and stuff to go to as well.

Um...other than that. I'm trying to warn you that college may not go as smoothly for you as for allistics, or TV autistics like Abed or that guy from Atypical. I'm not saying lower your expectations, so much as accept that if friend-making goes differently for you (your friends are older, or they are off-beat themselves, weird, etc) that isn't inferior and doesn't make you inferior. I heard the march to the beat of your own drum rhetoric when I was a Freshman too, and I too dismissed it. But yeah, at the end of the day, don't let allistics' perceptions of you and friendship /or/ lack thereof define you, and don't be afraid to seek friends and support in an unconventional way.

It sounds obvious but it's hard to accept. The sooner you accept it though, the better, I'm warning you. :p


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Rainbow_Belle
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23 Nov 2019, 10:16 pm

I wish I quit college after one semester instead of 4 years of the same crap, bad marks and no job at the end of it. There is no support for people with Aspergers or any disability, colleges are a nightmare for less abled people. Quit college and save yourself from debt and years of trauma of being rejected and hated by everyone.



Hypnotized
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26 Nov 2019, 12:46 am

We are a very small group, 13 people (it's a very specific study: School of Translation and Interpreting - third language German). The group is kind of split into 2 smaller groups. One of the groups is the 'normies' group, and in our group most seem to be autistic, and as they're friendly too it's not been that difficult to befriend them.



Rainbow_Belle
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01 Dec 2019, 11:59 pm

Put up an ad online or on College notice boards.
Wanted friends:
I have Aspergers, I find most social interactions difficult and my interests are......
It is a long shot but who knows it may work.