Anyone outright reject their diagnosis at first?

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aquafelix
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24 Aug 2019, 10:06 am

Anyone reject their diagnosis when it was first suggested by a professional?

I’ve been reading others posts and there seems to be a lot of people who suspected their autism diagnosis for years and did their own research so when the actual diagnosis came it was like a confirmation for them and a relief and an explanation for many of their life struggles.

When my psychiatrist first suggested ASD, I thought she was the one who was crazy it and autism was the farthest idea from my mind and I didn’t accept it, because I didn’t think it fitted me.

I think I was hung up on the Rainman and Sheldon stereotype, which is not at all how my autism looks. It was only after I realised how different people on the spectrum are that I accepted it for myself

Have other people initially resisted their diagnosis?



kmarie57
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24 Aug 2019, 3:20 pm

I went into my assessment with the belief that I would be told that I wasn't autistic. In fact, I told my evaluator multiple times that I am not autistic and was fully expecting her to tell me that I was not on the spectrum.

So, when all was said and done, and she told me that I did in fact meet the criteria, I went into major denial/rejection mode. This happened just over a month ago, and even though I have gotten better at accepting it, I still have my moments where I can't help but think "No. This isn't me. I'm not autistic. She [the evaluator] is wrong. I have some autistic traits, but plenty of neurotypical people do or feel the same things as me."



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24 Aug 2019, 4:10 pm

I have not been assessed yet.


However, over the last 10 years or so, I have had people make suggestions in that direction. I thought they were messing about or joking.

Then I happened to date a lovely lady who has asperges syndrome. She was diagnosed after they found her son has autism and they assessed her. She didn't even know her son had utism as to her, his unusual behaviour was normal, as she and her brother also were similar in some ways. Now when I asked her what asperges was, she tried to describe it to me, but apart from two aspects everything else she said was "Normal" to me. I was trying to find out differences between how she thinks and how I think. It didn't occur to me that I could have it as well. When I said (I assumed I didn't have asperges so I was trying to find differences to understand her) "But I get that?" ... and couldn't see many differences, she showed me a link to a brief online test. I did it and asked her some of the terms but her description was from her personal life which was different, so when I was asked things like "Do you stim" I put no. I had never heard of the term. My ex. girlfriend said "Rocking back and fore". I don't do that. (I stopped doing that when I was 6 years old as I was told off for copying a known autistic kid who was my best friend in school before they had him change school).

Then one man I know I had not seen for a few months. He invited me to his house which he did on occasions, and so I thought nothing of it. However, on this occasion things were a little surreal. The whole situation that I saw was so odd and unusual that I really thought he had gone mad. I just didn't understand what was going on.
He had committed suicide by jumping off the Severn Bridge. Luckily someone saw him jump and divers found his body quite deep in the sea. Quite a depth. And a few weeks later he woke up in hospital as he had been in a coma. Probably why he had not been in touch. Anyway, he was assessed and found to have asperges syndrome.
The scene I was met with was that he and his wife were splitting up. He took me in his garage to speak to me as he often relaxed in there, and while he was telling me this, there was this other lady there with him. He said "This is my new girlfriend". (He was joking as it was a careworker, but as things were so unusual and odd, I didn't see through his humour at the time. Ahd he said "You have asperges too, and you are going to meet my new friend here as she is a careworker".
I didn't know what to say. The whole situation was soo unreal. His wife was in the house. She never said much. When I used to visit it was always a case he would take me in the little room in the garage and his wife stayed in the house, so it was all quite odd.
I thought when he said I had asperges that he had really gone off his rocker! I politely had a chat but to be honest, I didn't really want to hang around. It was such a surreal situation I could not make head or tail of it, so I did not take him seriously. He was totally adament that I had asperges syndrome. He said "An Aspie knows when he sees another aspie" and things like that.
I was soo taken back. I could not take it all in.

Anyway, a few other people have said I had asperges including some in the medical field who asked if I have it due to certain symptoms etc.

Is only the last two years I decided to ask to be assessed and it took me two years to finally ask, and I was basically prompted by watching "Ask An Autistic" on YouTube where I origionally wanted to look up faceblindness which is something I have had.


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24 Aug 2019, 4:29 pm

Yes, I rejected my diagnosis for a few weeks.

I did accept Sensory Processing Disorder very quickly, though!



SharonB
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24 Aug 2019, 4:41 pm

I started looking at ASD b/c my daughter is the stereotypical ASD: unexpressive, stimming. Similar to you, it didn't occur to me that I could be ASD (I had been diagnosed "mild mood disorder" in my 30s). Then during research for my daughter, I realized I fit the ASD profile, even though (relative to the stereotype) I am expressive, feeling, and lean towards extrovert. So now that I have self-diagnosed, my problem is that most people around me reject the likelihood. (My husband and BFF seem to accept it.)

Conversation with disbelievers:
* Me: It's hard for me to [do this thing]
* Them1: What, no, you're great [at that thing]!
* Them2: It's not that, you just don't want to [do that thing]
Me: [work in progress for assertiveness]

How are those you've told dealing with it?

So the part I am "rejecting" about the likely diagnosis is how "disabled" am I? To what degree is having more ability in those areas within my control? Knowing what to change and what to accept... Instead of feeling broken (what's wrong with me, why is this hard?), I want to feel proud (this is hard for me, look how well I am doing!)

Ah.



Last edited by SharonB on 24 Aug 2019, 6:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kmarie57
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24 Aug 2019, 5:26 pm

SharonB wrote:
my problem is that most people around me reject the likelihood.

I've had similar problems, which usually makes it more difficult for me to accept it myself.
SharonB wrote:
Conversation with disbelievers:
* Me: It's hard for me to [do this thing]
* Them1: What, no, you're great [at that thing]!
* Them2: It's not that, you just don't want to [do that thing]
Me: [work in progress for assertiveness]

How are those you've told dealing with it?

I get very similar responses. I've been told that I socialize too well and am well-liked by many different groups of people (which I dislike, because that implies that many people don't like autistic people). They just don't get it. Most of my struggles are internal.

I've also been met with "well I think everybody is a little bit autistic" and that drives me crazy. Like yes, I understand that they too may have a preference for routine or get a little socially anxious, BUT theirs wouldn't be enough to get the label and that is what they don't seem to understand.



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25 Aug 2019, 11:48 pm

It was bandied about by those close to me after my daughter was diagnosed. This lasted about 15 years. Then apparently when I was being treated for co-morbid depression, anxiety, ptsd, etcetera, I was diagnosed with it and didn't understand that I was diagnosed for nearly half a year. Until I inquired on it after my therapist recommended I apply for disability, and I was utterly confused as to what disability she is referring to. She turned the screen and showed me the psychiatrist notes of treating the co-morbid issues stemming from autism. I was genuinely shocked, and doubly so when SSDI was nearly instantly approved. I am still bewildered by the whole thing. I am damn smart, how could I not see this thing? My life just is one giant bowl of weirdness.


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Miller54
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26 Aug 2019, 1:11 am

The post was good.



Lyndsey
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26 Aug 2019, 2:37 pm

I think that i knew that i was different and for a long time my family and i had tried forcing me to be like a nuro- typical people though in some things I made “improvements” it came at great emotional and psychological cost. The worst thing to be told or to think is that something is wrong with you, you’re different and you process things different than others but that is okay even if they say it is not.



kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2019, 4:17 pm

That would have been cute---a 3-year-old rejecting his diagnosis :wink:



JD12345
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27 Aug 2019, 2:24 am

To some extent, then again I was diagnosed at 16 when it's apparently 'normal' to be rebellious and distrusting of authority.

I'd known a small number of people who had it prior to my diagnosis, and while I could see that many of the common traits of Asperger's rang true to myself, it was still, for whatever reason, not something that I seriously considered. In the couple of years beforehand, professionals diagnosed me with depression and social phobia, thus I assumed that those were the causes of my issues.



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27 Aug 2019, 3:47 am

Ziemael wrote:
It was bandied about by those close to me after my daughter was diagnosed. This lasted about 15 years. Then apparently when I was being treated for co-morbid depression, anxiety, ptsd, etcetera, I was diagnosed with it and didn't understand that I was diagnosed for nearly half a year. Until I inquired on it after my therapist recommended I apply for disability, and I was utterly confused as to what disability she is referring to. She turned the screen and showed me the psychiatrist notes of treating the co-morbid issues stemming from autism. I was genuinely shocked, and doubly so when SSDI was nearly instantly approved. I am still bewildered by the whole thing. I am damn smart, how could I not see this thing? My life just is one giant bowl of weirdness.


Wow.

I found it so wierd when distant friends, friends and even strangers to me had come up to me and either said or asked if I had asperges / autism. I would say "No" and puzzle why they thought that. To me autism portrayed on the TV was mostly the most severe cases... Which seemed to me like a whole different world. I have to be honest and say u til I dated a lady with asperges about two or three years ago, I just didn't know much about it, and when I asked her what it was and could not see that much of a difference, even then I kept asking for more information as to me, some of what she was saying... Well... Seemed completely normal! I didn't twig that I could have it. Yes, she said she rocked back and fore and she said her brain worked in a different language which she translated into English. (Mine tends to work more in picture form). But other then that, I just couldn't get what asperges actually is.

You can imagine how shocked I was when it really sank in that I have autistic traits and it was not a case where I was just suspicious if I had them.

I do not know if I have asperges or autism though. But I know full well I share traits. I will just have to wait for an assessment.

But I can fully understand how much of a shock it was for you. Haha. It kind of came rather suddenly didn't it! I did have a couple of days myself when I was in the fringes of a continual partial shutdown due to feeling emotionally fragile after I had shock after shock after shock when oe after the next after the next I suddenly realised when I recognised trait after trait after trait. It actually came at me one after the next after the next shock... Hardly five or ten minutes between the first two shocks and about 15 to 25 miuntes for the third. I don't even remember which traits they were.

I was pretty fragile after that.

But if I am found to be on the spectrum, it would not now surprize me, but if more traits were to be revealed, then it would surprize me. If I am declared an NT and no traits are found, that would really surprize me as I will want an explanation for why I feel I have them, as it would make no sense whatsoever unless I am some extreme mental nutcase who thinks I have everything! (Ummm. How would I know if I am?)


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27 Aug 2019, 4:58 am

I was seeing a psychologist for depression after having been in hospital for it. She read out some of the criteria for autism and I told her it kind of sounded like me. She then suggested that I go and see her colleague who specialised in autism. I was like, what's autism?

So I had no clue until after I was assessed by this colleague and had it confirmed by a psychiatrist. I got the confirmation letter in the mail and a phone call from the psychologist. I didn't know what to do with myself. I kept working full time as a forklift driver but my mental state gradually deteriorated again and I quit work, sold my flat and moved in with my parents. Apart from them, no one knew about my autism.

I was encouraged to get a computer by my parents, so I did and that's how I found WP. A lot was answered for me here. I mostly read instead of posted and I'm still like that.

Not exactly rejected, but I did try and ignore my diagnosis for a while.



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27 Aug 2019, 5:24 am

I don't like being labelled, but I had suspected I was on the spectrum... after the first assessment I began to question the seemingly obviousness of my presentation and in the next interview the other psychologist got a grilling from me as to why each answer indicated autism, poor woman.