My friend's girlfriend is selfish

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KT67
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29 Aug 2019, 2:23 am

(warning I do get a bit shallow, also if you're homophobic I'm not interested in your views on this, I want the opinions of non homophobic people because the girlfriend is doing actual messed up stuff)

I have a friend who has a girlfriend who lives with her. She lives at her parents house in an upstairs flat. She refuses to come downstairs and see the family. She has them make her food and bring it upstairs. She demands different food to the family. Tbf she's autistic but I'm also autistic with food issues and if my family make food I don't like (my actual biological family not a girlfriend's family) I make my own or go out and spend my own benefit on food. I don't demand they make separate meals.

That's the first thing.

Secondly, my friend has a lower sex drive than her. So they have a system where the girlfriend is allowed to sleep with other women. But my friend isn't allowed to and also - my friend isn't allowed to form emotional bond type relationships with other women which she might be interested in doing considering her girlfriend is selfish and manipulative...

Third, the girl has absolute body image issues. But she does life modelling. Then she sulks when people draw her as it is rather than how she wants to look...

Fourth, she sulks in general when my friend is around her friends. My friend is completely platonic with me. But she hates me because she doesn't like my friend having friends. She's the same with my friend's guy friends and my friend isn't bi...

She contributes basically nothing to the relationship. I don't get why my friend is with her. It's not even like she's pretty, I notice that good looking people often get passes on being s**ts but that's not the case here.

I'm basically waiting for my friend to wake up to how she's being used. I don't want to say anything cos it will sound bitter and the girlfriend will use it against me. But one day my friend will need her friends after she either wakes up to it or gets dumped for not 100% sacrificing herself as she's doing right now...

Any advice? Should I say something or am I right to stay quiet?


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Fireblossom
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29 Aug 2019, 5:30 am

NTs would probably say you should stay quiet, but I'd say you should talk to her about this.



kraftiekortie
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29 Aug 2019, 5:37 am

The Upstairs Girl sounds like a real “snowflake,” at least on the surface, and she seems to love having her cake, and eating it, too.

I would wait until she initiates, though.



Summer_Twilight
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29 Aug 2019, 1:23 pm

First,

1. She sounds very rigid which is an autistic trait with the eating upstairs
2. She is also an introvert
3. She doesn't sound like she has any social skills

Yes, she sounds very selfish and self-absorbed next to one-sided. As for her hating you, she sees you as competition in that you are going to take your friend away from her.



KT67
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03 Sep 2019, 3:59 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The Upstairs Girl sounds like a real “snowflake,” at least on the surface, and she seems to love having her cake, and eating it, too.

I would wait until she initiates, though.


I think this is it tbh. I'm going to wait it out as it's not my business but it's just - she's going to wake up and realise the issue. As my mum said, 'what does L even see in Z in the first place?'

I hope she's aspie, if she is then she might not know how she's acting and coming across? But I've had an ex bf who told me he was autistic and was very good at manipulating any social situation. He told me it after I told him it. I think he was more along the sociopathy spectrum than the autistic one?


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