lucgn01 wrote:
I've been struggling with feelings of self-loathing for a while now, and it seems like the more I try to understand why I feel this way, the worse my intrusive thoughts get. I'm not very good at processing my feelings, and recently, I've been trying to come to grips with my low self-esteem, to little avail. It got to the point where I was standing above my bed with my hands pressed against the mattress, alternating between telling my mind to shut up and feeling like I was about to cry. I'm going to an interview for potential therapy sessions on September 3rd. Hopefully, things will go well and I'll get the help that I need. I just wish that I knew why I dislike myself so much and why it's so hard for me to do anything about it.
For my 2c, it was not helpful to work on the why. Working on the why, for me, was going around and around in circles like you describe What did help me was specific behaviors I could do. Over time, this does work, or at least it did for me.
I really dislike feeling like a meltdown in coming on and the inner struggle it takes to maintain oneself in the world.
Interestingly, I function better when there is a real crisis on hand. Give me a Cat 5 hurricane and I am functional and active and solving problems. Give me everyday real life, now that is difficult.
Keep posting. There is value in being part of this community.
_________________
The river is the melody
And sky is the refrain - Gordon Lightfoot
01 Sep 2019, 9:24 am
