What type of woman do you think would be a good match for me

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97AlanD
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01 Sep 2019, 8:16 pm

I'm 22 years old and have autism. I have severe ADHD and I awkwardly like to move alot. I like to rock on my bed and listen to music. I have a couple close friends and was the least popular in high school. My IQ is 82 and I graduated high school but not going to college. I live with my dad in a condo and work in a lock making shop. I like to smoke weed, go on hikes, go to concerts, listen to music, I'm a moderate drinker. My favorite bands are Old Linkin Park, Metallica, Ghost, R.E.M., Queens of the Stone Age, Nightwish, Dead Kennedys, Eminem, Watsky, Hollywood Undead, Iced Earth, Marilyn Manson, and Korn. I also play guitar. My favorite beers are Mickeys, founders, and Fosters. I like to watch comedy movies. People consider me an honest and funny person and everyone who meets me happens to like me. I'm not the temper tantrums type of autistic. I'm just socially awkward. I'm hoping there's some woman out there for me. I'm just trying to see what others think. I never tried a dating website yet but I'm just wondering. How likely is it that I will fall in love?



The Grand Inquisitor
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02 Sep 2019, 6:32 pm

97AlanD wrote:
I'm 22 years old and have autism. I have severe ADHD and I awkwardly like to move alot. I like to rock on my bed and listen to music. I have a couple close friends and was the least popular in high school. My IQ is 82 and I graduated high school but not going to college. I live with my dad in a condo and work in a lock making shop. I like to smoke weed, go on hikes, go to concerts, listen to music, I'm a moderate drinker. My favorite bands are Old Linkin Park, Metallica, Ghost, R.E.M., Queens of the Stone Age, Nightwish, Dead Kennedys, Eminem, Watsky, Hollywood Undead, Iced Earth, Marilyn Manson, and Korn. I also play guitar. My favorite beers are Mickeys, founders, and Fosters. I like to watch comedy movies. People consider me an honest and funny person and everyone who meets me happens to like me. I'm not the temper tantrums type of autistic. I'm just socially awkward. I'm hoping there's some woman out there for me. I'm just trying to see what others think. I never tried a dating website yet but I'm just wondering. How likely is it that I will fall in love?

How is it that you were the least popular kid in school, but everyone who meets you happens to like you? Seems like a contradiction.



97AlanD
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02 Sep 2019, 8:54 pm

Had no friends in school but have friends now. People did like me as acquaintance though



GiantHockeyFan
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03 Sep 2019, 7:54 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
How is it that you were the least popular kid in school, but everyone who meets you happens to like you? Seems like a contradiction.

That's pretty much me. I have no close friends, was either the least or second least popular kid at every school I attended yet nearly everyone at work likes me. That sounds like a good thing (and it is in some ways) but that also means I have been pigeonholed into my role and nobody recognizes my talents.



kraftiekortie
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03 Sep 2019, 7:56 am

Pretty similar to my situation.

I was, like a couple of others, one of the least "popular" kids in my school. But I get along with my co-workers.

The type of woman who would be a "good match" is someone who is easy to talk to, doesn't let everything bother her, and really seems to think that you are one of the greatest things the world has to offer.



Newbeginings
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03 Sep 2019, 8:14 am

There are all kinds of women out there that like all kinds of things. And you incress your chances online, there being a little bit of everthing here.
And keep in mind if nothing ever comes about at least you will know you tired.
It doesnt make the nights any less lonely, but either you spend your life trying or you spend it dying, and i found this to be true of all life.

Like the poet once said:

"He not busy being born
Is busy dying."
Bob Dylan

Hang tough, and good luck.



Newbeginings
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10 Sep 2019, 1:12 pm

Also check this out there are people that are attracted to paraplegic people, surly there are women for crazy folks like us.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attract ... disability



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13 Sep 2019, 7:51 pm

Try a dating site, don't be a creep, and you'll do okay.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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13 Sep 2019, 8:31 pm

martianprincess wrote:
Try a dating site, don't be a creep, and you'll do okay.

You've obviously never tried online dating as a guy.



RetroGamer87
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16 Sep 2019, 1:20 am

Don't spend too much time thinking about what kind of women would be attracted to you. Instead think about what kind of women you'd be attracted to. Eventually you'll find one from this group who likes you, maybe for reasons you didn't expect.


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16 Sep 2019, 9:02 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
You've obviously never tried online dating as a guy.

Sounds to me that it's bad for both genders. Most men I know report similar experiences to what I had (lots of flakes, rejections and overall snotty behavior) and every women I know complains about the unbelievably poor quality of men on this sites, which made my rejections even harder to take at the time.



martianprincess
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16 Sep 2019, 9:10 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
You've obviously never tried online dating as a guy.

Sounds to me that it's bad for both genders. Most men I know report similar experiences to what I had (lots of flakes, rejections and overall snotty behavior) and every women I know complains about the unbelievably poor quality of men on this sites, which made my rejections even harder to take at the time.


Dating, in general, is difficult.
There are men who will insult you and degrade you for no reason. Men who are only interested in sex (although I appreciated when they were up front about it instead of charming first as a way to trick you). Men who don't know what they want but pretend like they do. Men who act nice but aren't. Etc.

As an autistic person it was always pretty hard to tell who was being real with me and who wasn't. I can understand why both men and women would grow bitter about online dating, and even dating offline too.

But I will say that although I may have had some bad experiences, overall it was good to put myself out there and I made some friends, had some good times, and got a husband out of it.

Also not waiting for men to message me, and me actually messaging people first myself yielded the good (for me) men! Good tip for other ladies out there. Don't wait for men to message you.


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16 Sep 2019, 9:40 am

Dating is a crapshoot (e.g., a gamble; something that involves the rolling of dice). Everybody lies. Everybody is out to get something, whether it is money, sex, a green card, transitional surgery, an alibi to a crime, et cetera. "Putting yourself out there" without expressing your standards, and then having high expectations about the people you attract will only lead to heartbreak. Better to have high standards, express them up front, and be called "Stuck Up" than to express no standards at all and put up with every creep and loser looking for a victim.

"Straight SF seeks straight SM, 30-40 YOA. No smokers, drunks, junkies, convicts, ex-convicts, marrieds, unemployed, or LGBTQs. Must have graduate STEM degree, legal income, own home, and own transportation. Must provide valid resume, references, and identification. Candidates may be asked to submit to background/credit checks, and blood/DNA testing."

I mean ... why do some people place less importance on the character of someone they are dating (and may eventually marry) than they would place on the character of someone they would hire?


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martianprincess
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16 Sep 2019, 9:47 am

Fnord wrote:
Dating is a crapshoot (e.g., a gamble; something that involves the rolling of dice). Everybody lies. Everybody is out to get something, whether it is money, sex, a green card, transitional surgery, an alibi to a crime, et cetera. "Putting yourself out there" without expressing your standards, and then having high expectations about the people you attract will only lead to heartbreak. Better to have high standards, express them up front, and be called "Stuck Up" than to express no standards at all and put up with every creep and loser looking for a victim.

"Straight SF seeks straight SM, 30-40 YOA. No smokers, drunks, junkies, convicts, ex-convicts, marrieds, unemployed, or LGBTQs. Must have graduate STEM degree, legal income, own home, and own transportation. Must provide valid resume, references, and identification. Candidates may be asked to submit to background/credit checks, and blood/DNA testing."

I mean ... why do some people place less importance on the character of someone they are dating (and may eventually marry) than they would place on the character of someone they would hire?


I think part of the problem is people don't seem to know what they want. And the things they do want are vague, or based on inexperience.

Some people actually know exactly who they are and what they need from a partner but at the end of the day it's chaos and nobody seems to have the self-reflection skills to know anything about themselves.

Also relationships are usually pretty trial-and-error for most of us. We don't tend to figure things out without experience.

If only dating was that cut and dried, it would be easier.


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Fnord
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16 Sep 2019, 9:50 am

martianprincess wrote:
... If only dating was that cut and dried, it would be easier.
If only people would treat dating more like a formal job interview process, a lot of "surprises" would be found out before things get serious, and a lot of heartbreak and disappointment would be avoided..


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martianprincess
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16 Sep 2019, 9:59 am

Fnord wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
... If only dating was that cut and dried, it would be easier.
If only people would treat dating more like a formal job interview process, a lot of "surprises" would be found out before things get serious, and a lot of heartbreak and disappointment would be avoided..


Do you really think job interviews are effective though? Let's be real, they're based on flimsy first-impressions. And with dating, some people would be even more nervous and would be less open to being themselves, even if it's not intentional.


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I don't have a horse in your war games
I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits