My dad doesn't understand anxiety

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He knows I have it and that it causes me distress and obsessive compulsive thoughts when something upsets me. One of them is surprises. He knows I get anxious about money so any surprise bills will put me in distress and I have done crazy things because of my anxiety. I see it as a blessing and a curse because it keeps me from doing impulse spending and making careless mistakes because I am always thinking. I also think it saves me from consequences because I don't do things in the first place because of what could go wrong and I don't want any consequences. Just look at all the people out there that have gotten f****d over or gone to jail because of their lack of anxiety and making poor choices. If only they had anxiety then their anxiousness would have stopped them.

But anyway I wanted my husband to check out mortgage bill so he can tell me the total and I will call my father to tell him because he wanted to know the cost since the interest rate had gone down. But instead it came out to $3180.20 and they were charging us 2 months of mortgage than 1 months. I texted my dad and told him about it and gave him the number to call. He calls me back seconds later and tells me what he thinks might have happened and said they didn't get the payment when the bill was posted even though they got it because it was taken out of our bank account. But then he said if we have to pay this whole amount, we will if we have to and I told him we don't have that money to pay that $3,000 and that is like our whole monthly payment we get and we would have to move into a mobile home if we can't pay that amount and he tells me to stop and that was so stupid.

I get mad and tell him he knows I have anxiety so I don't need to deal with his ableism and I hung up.

I don't want to pay that extra money for their screw up and we paid it before the 15th and he knows I have anxiety about money and he continues to do this stuff to me. I sometimes think I caused my inlaws to move out because I kept getting anxious about how much food they were eating and I would get upset if my children's school lunches was getting eaten. It's all about money is why and I don't want to pay more and be poor so I am strict about how much everyone can eat which is why my husband handles the finances. But it was good they moved out anyway because they were always yelling at my kids and they were making our home smell like their dog and they were starting to ruin the dining room floor. Now it just needs to be polished again. We repainted the dining room but made a new color this time.


I often joke that I can't afford to consume 3,000 calories a day and I won't buy luxury foods because that is how I save money and stretch my monthly income. So therefore I can't afford to be fat lol because binge eating is too expensive so this is why I am so thin. I call desserts and snacks and sweets and juices and pop luxury foods and that saves you money when you buy none of it. If you limit how much you eat per meal, you save money too on groceries. I think my anxiety is the reason for this so it helps me manage my money well but my husband disagrees because he says I live like we are poor so that is why he handles the finances but when you watch Extreme Cheapskates, it makes me look normal. There is nothing wrong with not eating junk food or sweets and not eating a large amount of food per meal. It is also a curse too because it puts me in distress when I get money surprises.

Can your husband get the mortgage thing sorted out?
It's likely their mistake, if the money disappeared from your account then you can get payment confirmation and clear out any mistakes that have been made. It's hard to do it when you're anxious and your father is apparently not willing to help but maybe your husband can take care of it.