Degree of masking = amount you interact with others?

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firemonkey
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08 Sep 2019, 5:30 pm

It seems that so many of you mask . There's more than a few, highly detailed, descriptions of what that involves .

I have very little interaction with others outside of family . With family I am as I am; certainly at a conscious level there's no attempt to mask.

Is the degree to which you mask related to how much you do or do not interact with others ,outside of the family circle?



Mona Pereth
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08 Sep 2019, 8:53 pm

I think it depends on the amount of pressure one is under to conform socially. This depends partly on what kind of job one has, and partly on what kind of neighborhood one lives in, and partly on what kinds of friends one has and how status-conscious they are.

I've always made a point of trying, as much as possible, to put myself in situations that minimized conformist social pressures.

For example, I do computer programming from home. (I don't make anywhere near as much money as someone who does programming in a corporate office could make.)

I live in a highly multi-cultural neighborhood where there are people from many different countries all over the world.

Most of my friends over the years have been people I met in various oddball subcultures. Lately my social life revolves around some local ASD support groups.

So I don't have much need to mask. I don't need to force myself to make eye contact, nor to force my voice and/or my face to have just the right amount of apparent emotional expressiveness. In my neighborhood, people come from places with a wide variety customs in these regards anyway, so there is no standard that I need to conform to.


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magz
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09 Sep 2019, 1:45 am

I've learned to mask in my closest family, not outside of it. Before the burnout, it was my default mode of functioning and I wasn't aware others don't do it all the time.
I've spent two years of psychotherapy on unmasking and getting in touch with my own needs and feelings.
Now, with other people, I tend to use my ability to think before acting and try to be as diplomatic as possible but I don't try to hide my confusion, inability to multitask or sensory issues any more.

So, of my masking ability, I've left the part that lets me know how to talk to people so they may listen instead of getting instantly offended.


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firemonkey
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09 Sep 2019, 2:10 am

In my case I've never worked , and my circle of friends is non existent . It's quite a politically conservative area, and not highly multicultural .

If I meet anyone outside of the depot nurse/cleaner/doctor or nurse etc it's usually one of my stepdaughter's many acquaintances/friends; while she takes me shopping .
I'll stand there feeling awkward and more than a little self conscious .