Why do toddlers always stare at me?

Post Reply New Topic

This.

Plus the fact that they aren't self conscious grownups yet, and haven't yet been indoctrinated with the idea that "it's not polite to stare!! !".

Short answer: yes, I do.

Longer answer: I have a feeling some of us are just a bit more magnetic or charismatic or something, when it comes to children. Some of us are a bit more magnetic, or whatever, to cats; many times in my life, when someone's cat has come and sniffed me and curled up on my lap, I've been told something along the lines of: "Oh! You ARE honoured! He/she never goes NEAR visitors normally!" I get tots in supermarket trolleys staring at me and sometimes even waving. Occasionally I drive a school bus (Swansea tried to take my licence off me when they heard I had Asperger's, but my G.P. fought them and got it back, ha ha), and sometimes when an infant climbs up the steps he or she will simply stop dead and stare at me. I'm not good-looking, but I'm not THAT ugly! This kind of thing used to freak me out, but then someone did my astrological star chart and apparently having the Sun and Venus in the Fifth House gives me an affinity for children or vice versa. That's not necessarily a credible explanation, but it is one explanation. I also have a feeling some Aspies just do happen to have a little magic spark of something or other, so maybe some children are picking up on that?

I'm the Aspie that loves to stare when I am secure (yes, I am toddler like), so I like that I can stare at a staring child. I can even smile b/c I enjoy the experience. (When I'm insecure I don't make eye contact.) Most adults won't stand for staring, but most children don't judge. My only concern is that an adult will see and judge. I think these toddlers are staring b/c they do generally (as I do), if it's personal my naivety protects me.

Toddlers love to stare at everyone. It is one of the their first forms of communication. Before they utter their first words, they are learning to communicate with their eyes.

I haven't really noticed them staring at me. Possibly because I'm avoiding eye contact with them.

And when was a kid I was told that it's not polite to stare. It's rude to stare, it's rude not to look people in the eye at all, you just can't win.

Passionately agree!

I seem to recall "poorly regulated eye contact", or some such phrase, was among the indications of my Asperger's cited in the diagnostic report. I don't think my eye contact skills have ever progressed beyond those of a somewhat unworldly toddler...

I avoid eye contact with all strangers in public but I still notice when people stare.



I am talking more about 3 and 4-year-olds. Children younger than that don't tend to stare at me.



I hate being stared at by strangers but they do it to me all the time, I guess it's OK for them to stare at me.

Sometimes (I mean with adults staring at me), if I think of it in time and am not too busy being freaked out by being stared at, I look straight at whoever is staring at me and smile at them. It can sometimes be quite empowering! They do not tend to deal with it too well, which can be quite amusing, and there again sometimes they have the guts to smile back, so then you're being smiled at instead of stared at, which is an improvement.