Is it a myth or not that women dislike us?

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blazingstar
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09 Oct 2019, 7:47 pm

I am not criticizing you, although it may be common. I think your position is rational and I don't have a problem with it. It su*ks you do good work and are not appreciated for it.


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BDavro
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09 Oct 2019, 7:52 pm

The attritbutes that young women are pushed towards finding attractive are rarely ones we possess.

But who wants one of those women?


Joking aside, at a recent family barbecue I overheard the drifting chat of a female relative telling someone that she taught her daughter to look at a man's hair,nails and shoes to judge them.

It disturbed me greatly, what were they looking for?



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09 Oct 2019, 8:49 pm

MYTH i seen it. And wish them the best. NT woman got the guy i liked .


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domineekee
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10 Oct 2019, 1:56 am

cberg wrote:
Well at this point I feel I've been stereotyped so frequently for long enough to decide not to trust anyone until they give me some valid reasons for it. It's not strictly about women at all, gender seems to make no difference, most people just ditch me without saying anything.

I'm not happy with the idea of constantly building new things for people who will never appreciate any of it. I'm out of touch with the rest of the human race & to be honest, that's how I'd rather be for the moment. I'm happier being invisible because frankly, guys emotions are 100% taboo & it's f*****g boring. I'm only ever shamed or ostracized for saying how I feel. It's practically criminalized.

Cberg, you want to make this thread all about you? OK then.

As the saying goes, "if you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie", yet you wade right in at the start of the thread and condemn us all to eternal ostracism and symutaniosly stereotype every female NT.

You don't have a diagnoses, so how can you make gross generalisations about either group?

Yes, when you dump all your negativity some people will always rush in to pat your arse, but don't mistake that for a free pass to wallow, if you can't help it then try not to make a habit of talking down to people as you do so.



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10 Oct 2019, 4:26 am

WalkerTR wrote:
Thanks teach51 for that summary. It seems to be a very honest assesment of what is going on.
I am used to either reading stuff that is overly optimistic and simple (which is just not compatible with what I've experienced in the real world,although usually written by well meaning people) or the overly negative stuff on the anti-aspie sites.
Its nice to get a candid view from someone who doesn't have either motivation.


Tx WalkerTR :D


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rdos
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10 Oct 2019, 4:36 am

domineekee wrote:
As the saying goes, "if you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie", yet you wade right in at the start of the thread and condemn us all to eternal ostracism and symutaniosly stereotype every female NT.

You don't have a diagnoses, so how can you make gross generalisations about either group?


So many problems with this argumentation.

1. Dating difficulties are not covered by ASD diagnosis which means the diagnosis could not predict how you work with dating, and so having an ASD diagnosis doesn't make you understand these issues any better.

2. Just because some authority claims that all Aspies are different doesn't mean its true.

So, it's actually YOUR generalizations that are problematic.



rdos
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10 Oct 2019, 4:40 am

I think the original question is a bit malformed. I think it is true that a large majority of NT women dislike neurodiverse men, but I also think quite a lot of neurodiverse women actually dislike NT men. And given that neurodiverse men and women exist at similar rates, this shouldn't be a problem if they can find each other.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Oct 2019, 4:41 am

If all aspies are so different then the diagnosis itself wouldn't have been observed nor existed.



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10 Oct 2019, 5:13 am

It's how those characteristics are expressed and what co-morbidities accompany the diagnosis.


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rdos
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10 Oct 2019, 6:22 am

blazingstar wrote:
It's how those characteristics are expressed and what co-morbidities accompany the diagnosis.


It's more that autism is a spectrum of many different traits that are not necessarily present in everybody diagnosed. So, people present in different ways depending on exactly which ND traits they have and how they can cope with them. This doesn't mean there aren't well-defined lists of traits that are highly consistent in how they manifest.



The Grand Inquisitor
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10 Oct 2019, 7:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If all aspies are so different then the diagnosis itself wouldn't have been observed nor existed.

There are some constants with ASD, like underdeveloped social skills, but there is still a lot of variation with other symptoms, like the degree and pervasiveness of sensory issues, prevalence of meltdowns, etc. Even with social skills, there is a fair bit of variety.

Sometimes, I see users post ASD-related problems that I can't relate to. Other times, users post ASD-related problems that couldn't possibly be more pertinent to me. This is why we call it a spectrum.



cberg
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10 Oct 2019, 11:26 am

domineekee wrote:
cberg wrote:
Well at this point I feel I've been stereotyped so frequently for long enough to decide not to trust anyone until they give me some valid reasons for it. It's not strictly about women at all, gender seems to make no difference, most people just ditch me without saying anything.

I'm not happy with the idea of constantly building new things for people who will never appreciate any of it. I'm out of touch with the rest of the human race & to be honest, that's how I'd rather be for the moment. I'm happier being invisible because frankly, guys emotions are 100% taboo & it's f*****g boring. I'm only ever shamed or ostracized for saying how I feel. It's practically criminalized.

Cberg, you want to make this thread all about you? OK then. ***NO***

As the saying goes, "if you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie", yet you wade right in at the start of the thread and condemn us all to eternal ostracism and symutaniosly stereotype every female NT.

You don't have a diagnoses, so how can you make gross generalisations about either group?

Yes, when you dump all your negativity some people will always rush in to pat your arse, but don't mistake that for a free pass to wallow, if you can't help it then try not to make a habit of talking down to people as you do so.


I have an ASD diagnosis. I'm not talking down to anyone in particular, I'm just saying I feel ignored & I don't feel valued. I'm not responsible for good things other people aren't doing.


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10 Oct 2019, 11:33 am

I'm not going to debate this anymore. I don't have any positive feelings on the matter & everyone is suggesting I just buck up about being alone until I die. I'm not going to just lie to you about the reality of this thing & considering where we are, I'm at a loss as to why you'd want me to sugarcoat my life.

I'm autistic, nobody really likes that fact.


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10 Oct 2019, 11:36 am

You have many attributes, Cberg….some of which I don't have.

Emphasize the positive within yourself.

When people notice your unobtrusive yet knowing viewpoint of yourself, you will do better in all realms.



domineekee
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10 Oct 2019, 11:46 am

cberg wrote:
domineekee wrote:
cberg wrote:
Well at this point I feel I've been stereotyped so frequently for long enough to decide not to trust anyone until they give me some valid reasons for it. It's not strictly about women at all, gender seems to make no difference, most people just ditch me without saying anything.

I'm not happy with the idea of constantly building new things for people who will never appreciate any of it. I'm out of touch with the rest of the human race & to be honest, that's how I'd rather be for the moment. I'm happier being invisible because frankly, guys emotions are 100% taboo & it's f*****g boring. I'm only ever shamed or ostracized for saying how I feel. It's practically criminalized.

Cberg, you want to make this thread all about you? OK then. ***NO***

As the saying goes, "if you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie", yet you wade right in at the start of the thread and condemn us all to eternal ostracism and symutaniosly stereotype every female NT.

You don't have a diagnoses, so how can you make gross generalisations about either group?

Yes, when you dump all your negativity some people will always rush in to pat your arse, but don't mistake that for a free pass to wallow, if you can't help it then try not to make a habit of talking down to people as you do so.


I have an ASD diagnosis. I'm not talking down to anyone in particular, I'm just saying I feel ignored & I don't feel valued. I'm not responsible for good things other people aren't doing.



The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Oct 2019, 11:47 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If all aspies are so different then the diagnosis itself wouldn't have been observed nor existed.

There are some constants with ASD, like underdeveloped social skills, but there is still a lot of variation with other symptoms, like the degree and pervasiveness of sensory issues, prevalence of meltdowns, etc. Even with social skills, there is a fair bit of variety.

Sometimes, I see users post ASD-related problems that I can't relate to. Other times, users post ASD-related problems that couldn't possibly be more pertinent to me. This is why we call it a spectrum.



The spectrum edges would need to be defined tho; otherwise everyone can be on it.