What aspects of social interaction are especially tiring?

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Mona Pereth
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16 Oct 2019, 10:02 am

What aspects of social interaction (both in-person and online, both one-on-one and in groups) do you find especially tiring?

And under what kinds of circumstances is social interaction less tiring to you than it would be otherwise?

What kinds of social interaction do you find most tiring, and what kinds of social interaction do you find least tiring?

Also, if you were in a position to dictate social customs, how would you change the ways that people interact, so that you could make friends more easily without tiring yourself out as much?


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kraftiekortie
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16 Oct 2019, 10:34 am

What I find tiring (as far as "in-person" social interaction is concerned)----is that I always have to appear "in a good mood" when I don't feel like I'm in a "good mood."

At least, online, one doesn't actually have to FACE people. And one can edit his/her thoughts right away in the written medium; whereas, "in-person," what one may say verbally cannot be "erased," cannot be "edited."



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17 Oct 2019, 12:27 am

Not taking things personally is a challenge for me. Small talk is also another challenge for me.


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quaker
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17 Oct 2019, 12:56 am

One of my all time pet hates is the hanging around saying goodbye on doorsteps . On my own I would simply give appropriate time over to announcing my departure and then simply carry it out dispite endless chittering on the doorstep. For me this is rudeness, when someone gases on endlessly as I am busting a gut to get home to my routines.



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17 Oct 2019, 1:48 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
What I find tiring (as far as "in-person" social interaction is concerned)----is that I always have to appear "in a good mood" when I don't feel like I'm in a "good mood."

At least, online, one doesn't actually have to FACE people. And one can edit his/her thoughts right away in the written medium; whereas, "in-person," what one may say verbally cannot be "erased," cannot be "edited."

All the above on this post but if i get a polite or helpful service person, it helps me cope. A smile goes a long ways.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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17 Oct 2019, 6:15 pm

Same as cockney and kraftie



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17 Oct 2019, 6:38 pm

I would rather go pass the idea of social interaction as tiring and compromising.
Would rather hunt down the cycles of making it so.

So far, this is what I found at my more compromising and less reliable states:
Worrying about certain ideas;

Worrying about being wrong, worrying about being right
Worrying about words and how to say it right.
Worrying what others think and say.
Worrying of hearing and misinterpreting things wrong.
Worrying about endless scenarios that never be.
Worrying about the nonsensical rules because it is seen from a very compromised point of view. :x
Worrying about things that isn't and beating yourself over it.
Worrying about others and what they feel.
Worrying about yourself and your own image.


Just worry in general.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Oct 2019, 6:42 pm

The social part, and the interaction part. 8O

I'm not trying to be cheeky Mona, but I can't think of any part of it that isn't especially tiring.



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17 Oct 2019, 6:52 pm

Trying to make a good impression. It sucks that they think you're crazy and when the conversation is over they gossip.



FallingDownMan
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17 Oct 2019, 7:00 pm

For family interaction and events, trying to figure out when I can leave.

For other social events, trying to start a conversation. Nobody tries to start conversations with me, and I am unable to start a conversation. From what I understand, conversations start with someone asking open ended questions. Asking questions in any form is very, very, very difficult for me, and I can never come up with open ended questions.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Oct 2019, 7:01 pm

FallingDownMan wrote:
From what I understand, conversations start with someone asking open ended questions. Asking questions in any form is very, very, very difficult for me, and I can never come up with open ended questions.


I didn't even know this. I don't have any rules or scripts memorised. No wonder I flounder so badly. :(



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17 Oct 2019, 7:04 pm

Trying not to laugh at inappropriate times. Like when a kid at my job does something mischievous and I try to yell at them in a stern voice but it's hard because I am trying so hard to hide my laugh. :lol:



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17 Oct 2019, 7:04 pm

Talking loud enough lil dipshits don't have the nerve to grunt "huh" and "what" bit not waste too much energy talking


Seeing if the lil dipshits are on my side, or when they will abruptly turn against me


Deciding what to tolerate and what to veto



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17 Oct 2019, 7:39 pm

i’m so tired of social interaction at my job. i’m tired of being attacked and forced to defend myself based on my “nonverbal cues” and things i say being assumed to mean extra stuff that i never said.

i like social interaction with my best friend of 10 years because she gets me and doesn’t assume i mean things i don’t say.



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17 Oct 2019, 8:36 pm

Interesting here .. am sorry to say , trying to be understood. And this seems to be most all NT situations .often people self described as aspies too. On average , it seems most aspies ,
That are not intimidated by being inclusive . Or even just sharing ..no issues with after initial awkward ness . Nowadays find myself relieved when can escape NT CONVOS . Needs a NT proof vest?


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Joe90
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18 Oct 2019, 7:21 am

Quote:
What aspects of social interaction (both in-person and online, both one-on-one and in groups) do you find especially tiring?


This may be a weird answer but to me being out in public is the most tiring for me. Interacting with friends, family, colleagues, partner, etc, seems easy to me and requires little or no effort (depending on the situation), but all the social anxiety and self-consciousness I feel when in public places seems to exhaust me for some reason.

Quote:
Also, if you were in a position to dictate social customs, how would you change the ways that people interact, so that you could make friends more easily without tiring yourself out as much?


I'd like to live in a world where strangers minded each other's business and didn't judge each other. If you decide to go out without a coat on in November because you're menopausal or recovering from a flu or whatever reason you're hot, it would be nice to not have to feel self-conscious about it because of having people look at you funny.

Also another thing that will make my social life better is if people (particularly young people) didn't think that getting drunk is the be all and end all. If it weren't for drunks acting like unpredictable lunatics, I would go out more at night time and not feel so intimidated. Also I wouldn't feel like the only person in the world who hasn't been drunk in my life.


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