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AriaEclipse
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21 Feb 2020, 3:30 pm

I don't know. I think on average I can get along pretty well with females because I try to be polite and kind to everybody. I've had people take advantage of me because of me not understanding their intentions to only use me and not be a true friend, but most women I've met have been okay and I think I can definitely get along with people regardless of gender if we have common interests.


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hurtloam
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21 Feb 2020, 5:30 pm

I've recently made friends with someone who used to avoid me because she though I was too pretty and had it too much together.

Turns out I'm just your average mess.

Showing your weaknesses can be endearing to people.

I've got to say, that's difficult for those of us who got social cues wrong all through school. I try and always do my best because every stupid flipping thing would get me picked on at school.

No one likes a perfectionist it seems.



Lost_dragon
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21 Feb 2020, 7:35 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
My peer group is fairly male-dominated. I have fewer close female friends than male friends. Sometimes this changes and the number becomes more balanced. With the subjects that I study, and my interests (such as improv) I tend to meet more men than women. However, I would like to make more female friends. I have a considerable amount that are either acquaintances, or we are friends but don't yet know each other that well. However, this is slowly starting to change.


Recently it has changed and become more balanced. It's fairly equal at this point. Generally I get along with both so long as they are nice and we have at least a few similar interests. I haven't come across any women who have spoken ill of me since I was in high school.


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SharonB
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22 Feb 2020, 8:52 am

hurtloam wrote:
...every stupid flipping thing would get me picked on at school.

No one likes a perfectionist it seems.


Ironic, right? We get picked on, try to get it "right" and then get picked on for that. Blah!! !

I ran into a 40-ish woman at the library playground who volunteered that she only had guy friends as a child. I related that it had been the same for me and that I know have women friends. She said that was b/c those women have matured; Yes, and I have also. I been exposed to enough people that I've found the few women who appreciate ASD and are ND themselves --- and we all have matured. :D



Where_am_I
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03 Mar 2020, 7:29 am

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Only ones who feel a need to "mother" me. I still look like a teenager (at age 26) and can't "mask" to save my life, I tend to be treated like a child.



This and at age 40 looking like I'm early to mid 20s. I hate it.


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SharonB
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03 Mar 2020, 8:51 am

Where_am_I wrote:
This and at age 40 looking like I'm early to mid 20s. I hate it.

I am near 50 and everyone thinks I am 30s --- I have tons of wrinkles and the typical dropping jowl so it must be my behavior or perhaps b/c I don't eat or consume chemicals and so have a natural "glow". I guess BOTH.



WildColonial
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03 Mar 2020, 10:40 pm

I get along well with most women, but generally better with other ND women (whether autistic or not). My problem is not letting my guard down around ANYONE except for a carefully selected few. I’ve been guilty of oversharing in the past, and after being called out on it, I’ve swung way in the other direction. I’m usually the one who listens to everyone and doesn’t say much.


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Where_am_I
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04 Mar 2020, 12:49 am

SharonB wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
This and at age 40 looking like I'm early to mid 20s. I hate it.

I am near 50 and everyone thinks I am 30s --- I have tons of wrinkles and the typical dropping jowl so it must be my behavior or perhaps b/c I don't eat or consume chemicals and so have a natural "glow". I guess BOTH.


Hmm could be you're not as wrinkly as people in your age group? Yeah I too thought behaviour has something to do with it, but nah....it's probably because you do look younger.


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Jakki
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04 Mar 2020, 11:16 am

Where_am_I wrote:
SharonB wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
This and at age 40 looking like I'm early to mid 20s. I hate it.

I am near 50 and everyone thinks I am 30s --- I have tons of wrinkles and the typical dropping jowl so it must be my behavior or perhaps b/c I don't eat or consume chemicals and so have a natural "glow". I guess BOTH.


Hmm could be you're not as wrinkly as people in your age group? Yeah I too thought behaviour has something to do with it, but nah....it's probably because you do look younger.
being supportive in some correct manner, might be part of a reason .


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SharonB
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04 Mar 2020, 3:59 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
Hmm could be you're not as wrinkly as people in your age group? Yeah I too thought behaviour has something to do with it, but nah....it's probably because you do look younger.


I liked that. :D I looked up a couple studies which indicate age perception from photos is based largely on skin health. I checked with my husband and his assessment is that I look my age (boo!) and that it is my childlike demeanor which impacts folks assessment of me. Just last month a well-meaning woman 5-6 yrs older than me (not much of a difference at my age) called me "cute". My energy defies my wrinkles!! !!

Back to OP, luckily at this age, women want to recapture that youthful feeling (that I have). So while I hung out with mostly boys/men for the majority of my youth, I now have a number of women I would call "friends" (if I had friends in a traditional way).



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14 Mar 2020, 9:00 pm

I find it difficult to relate to other females a good portion of the time due to my personality.

But they generally like me. I almost never have a problem with them.


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IsabellaLinton
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14 Mar 2020, 9:02 pm

Generally, nope.

I've always got on better with men. NT women are a completely foreign species to me.


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Jakki
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14 Mar 2020, 10:23 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Generally, nope.

I've always got on better with men. NT women are a completely foreign species to me.


lolzz.. am sorry to admit it but , i get this post.


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IsabellaLinton
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14 Mar 2020, 10:34 pm

Jakki wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Generally, nope.

I've always got on better with men. NT women are a completely foreign species to me.


lolzz.. am sorry to admit it but , i get this post.


I don't mean that they dislike me, but I've always been off the curve in terms of a female NT trajectory. I have so many contradictory traits that they don't know what to make of me. I've been ignored like an outlier or treated in a patronising way because I'm exuberant. When I'm "smart" they think I'm no fun. It's a fine line. Most of my friends have been men - including lots of gay men. As a child I was more bonded to my father, brother, and grandfather than any of the women in my family.


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Jakki
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15 Mar 2020, 6:37 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Jakki wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Generally, nope.

I've always got on better with men. NT women are a completely foreign species to me.


lolzz.. am sorry to admit it but , i get this post.


I don't mean that they dislike me, but I've always been off the curve in terms of a female NT trajectory. I have so many contradictory traits that they don't know what to make of me. I've been ignored like an outlier or treated in a patronising way because I'm exuberant. When I'm "smart" they think I'm no fun. It's a fine line. Most of my friends have been men - including lots of gay men. As a child I was more bonded to my father, brother, and grandfather than any of the women in my family.

bonding is not common occurance for me anymore . but did have a similiar connection with my father, oddly enough had a very odd connection with my late husband . That was quite miraculous .... he felt it too.. more recently a few off the mark reltionship have been coming up with a few woman... But definitely not normal type cultural exchanges.


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