For straight people here, do people think you're gay?

Page 1 of 2 [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

NewTime
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2015
Posts: 1,981

10 Nov 2019, 6:18 pm

And maybe the opposite sex does not approach you because they believe you are gay.



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,757

10 Nov 2019, 6:28 pm

I've never known someone to mistake me for being gay. I don't think there's anything about me that would give off a "gay vibe".

I think women don't approach me because women don't generally need to approach men to get dates and find a partner, because most women aren't particularly interested in me, and because I don't tend to be in that many social situations that might be conducive of those sorts of approaches.



Eternal_Enigma
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Oct 2019
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 57
Location: USA

10 Nov 2019, 6:31 pm

I would like to think that people tend to not approach me because I am awkward and wear mainly black clothing and have tattoos. But, that is a good question... I don't think people would look at someone they don't know and not approach them because they think they are gay. Maybe get a shirt that reads "I am not gay so disregard the vibe you think you're getting!" :)



SharonB
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jul 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,738

10 Nov 2019, 7:54 pm

I have a female friend who is very "masculine" and she is married to a man who is very "feminine". So regarding them individually folks would say they are "gay", but they are both heterosexual. I don't know how they navigated that to figure our their mutual interest in each other. My husband and I have somewhat switched gender roles, but overall our biological sex matches our social gender.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

10 Nov 2019, 8:05 pm

Kids thought I was in high school. Probably because of my social issues so they thought I was gay because I wasn't dating any boys.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Guy Incognito
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 10 Sep 2019
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 141
Location: Washington, DC

10 Nov 2019, 11:30 pm

Yes!! !!

I think camoflauging plays a big part in it. People mistake it for being closeted. I also don't flirt or discuss my personal life at work which doesn't help.

I currently have a gay co-worker constantly telling anyone that will listen that I am a closeted homosexual. I have no animosity towards the homosexual community, but I think that it is hypocritical that a gay man who constantly opines about how oppressed he is by society and how he finds discrimination at every corner has no problem trying to out someone he believes to be gay. I truly do not care for that pompous, attention-seeking, narcissistic as*hole. He considers himself the paradigm of a righteous gay man, and is oblivious to what horrible ambassador he is to his community.
I apologise for the vulgarity and run-on sentence, but I have been dealing with this very problem since the guy got there a year ago. I even had to cancel a trip to New York because he decided to go and I didn't know how to deal with it.

EEO and sexual harassment policies wouldn't resolve it, because the demographics are wrong and it would draw undue attention to me. It is one of the sad realities of being in an overly progressive city. If the roles were reversed I would be labeled a bigot, dragged into the streets, and flogged. A pox upon his house.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

11 Nov 2019, 1:22 am

They just think I’m a loser


_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die


MagicKnight
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 14 Mar 2016
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 460

11 Nov 2019, 11:01 am

Some people think. Even my dad thinks, but then he thinks everyone is. He is a piece of s**t anyway.

As for the girls who once "thought" I was gay, many of them were in for a surprise later. Most just wanted to confirm whether I was straight because they wanted sex.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,890
Location: Stendec

11 Nov 2019, 11:15 am

To go along with what League Girl has already said, kids in high school said I was gay because I wasn't dating any girls, and girls wouldn't date me because they said I was gay, and that I must be gay because I wasn't dating any girls, and ... et cetera ... ad nauseum ...


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


BiffGriff
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 21 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 20
Location: out of my mind

11 Nov 2019, 9:21 pm

I'm gay but people assume I'm straight. But I don't think that's the same thing, huh?



GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

13 Nov 2019, 9:52 am

Fnord wrote:
To go along with what League Girl has already said, kids in high school said I was gay because I wasn't dating any girls, and girls wouldn't date me because they said I was gay, and that I must be gay because I wasn't dating any girls, and ... et cetera ... ad nauseum ...


Pretty much this, especially since I had a friend who was clearly gay. My fate was sealed when someone asked if I was straight and I jokingly replied that no, I was crooked and that was all the proof anyone needed. Being married with a child (and there is no stigma with being gay now) pretty much means nobody thinks that now. It still amazes that nobody actually... you know.... asked me directly what my orientation was as I could have made it clear I am 100% heterosexual.



modernmax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2012
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,426
Location: Near Chicago

13 Nov 2019, 3:51 pm

No but it didn't stop them from calling me every slur for it.


_________________
This is not a signature, I just make a line and write this under it every time I post.


lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,900
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

13 Nov 2019, 4:16 pm

I wouldn't be surprised if they do since I'm rarely seen with a guy except my father. I wasn't exactly boy-crazy as a teenager, most boys would harass and bully me constantly, and thought it was incredibly hilarious to point at other boys with them and say to me, "he wants to go out with you", which I knew was a total lie and I was not the least bit, and I would and still do often get confused by society's beliefs over what's gay or lesbian or not, and it doesn't seem to be limited to having sexual feelings for someone the same gender as you. I think I may be asexual, but like female aspies and unicorns most people think we don't exist.



James_Ladrang
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 156
Location: UK of GB & NI

17 Nov 2019, 12:58 pm

It happens. Not all the time, but since I rarely care what other prople think of me as I walk down the street, I wear clothes I find comfortable and I like bright colours and I am gentle and kind. I'm not sure if being called gay is sarcasm or a regular jest, as long as it isn't aggressive. If you want to think I'm gay, I don't mind, despite my being straight, happily married, oh yes, and faithful. I'm happy being little old me, autistic and proud of it.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,190
Location: Portland, Oregon

17 Nov 2019, 2:30 pm

Yes, my mom accuses me of being gay (even though I am straight) just because I have a few LGBT friends,
so "guilty by association."


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


DorkyNerd
Raven
Raven

Joined: 29 Nov 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 110
Location: NYC

29 Nov 2019, 2:47 am

Oh God, yes!! All the time!! !

I am straight as can be. People think I am a lesbian, a transvestite or asexual. They also think I am a virgin. I am 31 and lost my virginity at the age of 15. How could they think that?!?!

It is very insulting. I obviously get very offended. How dare they even ask me that?!