Defeatism, or "Learned Helplessness".

Post Reply New Topic

I had special interests as a child, I believe this allowed me to reach a level of mastery and practice persistence and resilience in the face of the unknown. Small successes like those childhood special interests gave me an opportunity to practice the EF skills that I struggled with, but in the SI context I experienced a positive association to counteract the more negative associations.

I think these things helped me later on, in these areas of interest I got to practice/experience never doubting my knowledge or gowing tired of learning more, the practical application was a bit more difficult, but persistence was on my side.

These are the things autistic children need to help shape their adulthood in a way that supports independence in its relative forms.

For as difficult as life could get, I knew I had steel running through my spine, I knew I was capable of things that set me apart, even if only I knew of these capabilities and I experienced this only in specific areas.
Perhaps part of it was growing up early.

That was a more common experience once upon a time, it was the norm. I believe that pendulum has swung too far in the other direction now. Perhaps it is good naturedness/selfishness/lack of options that lead caregivers to over compensate for children with disabilities, but I believe through this inaction its adding on more layers of disability through learned helplessness.

Much like the ABA styles diverting energy towards external directives that overtax executive functioning and divert the focus away from suitable long term independence practices/internal directives.

Life on the spectrum can be difficult enough on it's own, without ever being overloaded by the areas I have to unlearn helplessness in while relying on EF that's usually on strike.

This is exactly what I've observed. This is one of the main differences between having it from not.

In my experience, it's a form of an intuitive 'bleep' sign and some form of knowing.
Within less than a second, the answers 'what to do first? Then what? And then what? And then what?? Pros and cons, Etc...' Are usually answered.
'Timing' in everything; conversations, activity, reactions... Instead of this awkward uncertainty that leads to over thinking or 'being slow'.
This 'sound judgment' based on your entire library of experiences and knowledge, that 'scope of awareness' that leads to foresight and insight, that ability to sharp turn between focused topic or activity... 'Visualizations' of timelines, that 'mini grocery lists', that 'note to self/reminders'...

All of these. Humans don't process these manually, nor realize these things exists at all. These are 'tools' that I already have AND I'd want it accessible. Consistent and constant access to this, is the biggest ticket to my personal freedom and independence. If only that were true...
No amount of 'teaching', repetition, or techniques could emulate it; I've tried for years.
But I do know the difference... I'd always remember and hold that memory of having it so tight.

… I've tried routines. It gave me more stress and the activity of choice degrades into something less effective over time.
It doesn't become a habit or an unconscious activity in my case, but more of something dismissible and more absentmindedly done as it becomes just as more ineffective.

Something is definitely wrong there. It goes beyond personal preferences of not wanting to rely on routines and predictability.

So I grew to dislike routines even more. 'Predictability' triggers my mind into this absentmindedness instead of easier ways of processing.

It's probably an individual inclination in my case.
Autistics are not known for not liking and relying predictability and routine.

You just have a different processing pattern and that is perfectly good. It is just as valid as anyone else's. Whatever works best for you is what you should stick to.