Is this fair?

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I’m crying as I type this. I am 29 years old. It’s a sad, complicated situation. So first off I have pretty much zero friends in real life. I go out 2 days a week with a carer named Karen. Told her that I’ve been talking to a woman on twitter for a couple of years and that we’d like to meet up with Karen being there. The woman is married and we have become good friends but Karen's boss is disapproving because Karen has never met the woman and she might be a danger to Karen. I also still live with my dad who's answer is no. I’m angry and devastated. I absolutely hate the ignorance of people who assume people are some kind of serial rapist just because I don’t know them in real life. I'm too scared to show them her Twitter profile as she is a nude model but she is quite possibly the kindest person I’ve spoken to online. God, I can hardly see for the tears clouding my eyes.

Where did you propose having the initial meeting at?

She has a busy job so it would have been at night but in her hotel (in the lobby of course) or a cafe.

I think that as long as you are meeting somewhere public, it is a good move. I don't understand why the reluctance from your carer's boss. I would think at the very least it would be an idea for your carer to go to the same meeting place pretending not to know you and sit somewhere in the cafe away from you but where she could still observe you in case some sort of problem does come up that you need help with.

Sounds like a good idea. A support worker is supposed to support people who only want to do what neurotypical people take for granted. And in this day and age with all the technology the internet is probably how most young people today start dating.

I would suggest trying plan A, try the idea I just said above. Then if they are unwilling to compromise, plan B would be going over their heads and talking to someone who signs their contract and maybe consider a different company for a carer.

This may be painful to hear but there are many predators on line whos' sole purpose is to attract and prey on innocents who may be exploited for any number of illicit and immoral reasons. There are many crime rings involved in sex trafficking and drugs.

I would trust your father's judgement and stay away. Can you think of a logical reason why a married, nude model would spend her time cultivating a relationship with you ( wonderful as you are) unless she is luring you into something dangerous and immoral? Perhaps 'she' is a 'he,' I say this because I have experienced such things personally on the internet. Someone has been kind and friendly and the whole thing has been a scam to steal my money or worse.

Sweety, if you had met another lady on the spectrum, or someone with a conventional job who is also lonely and single I would be less suspicious.
Trust your dad, he cares about you and his instincts may well be right.
Big hug from me to you.

That's a reasonable suggestion though I tend to think it is safest not to meet at all. The question I always ask myself is "why?" What is a "nude model?" Probably in the porn trade/sex trade dominated by mafia/ criminals. Why would she be interested in an autistic girl? I would advise OP to look for friendships with women of similar backgrounds. I am not getting a good feeling about this at all. Kidnapped girls are always vulnerable in some way, either homeless, refugees, disabled. There ia a whole industry out there looking for the lonely and needy. I am happy OP's dad and carers' dad are being streetwise and vigilant.

I also know how upsetting and disappointing it is to be manipulated by dishonest people. Better to be safe than sorry.

There are always risks of something happening, but as far as the idea of meeting someone with similar backgrounds,vi should ask what you mean? I don't know how to judge someone's background simply by hearing that they are a nude model.

By the same background/ interests I would think women sharing a similar protected and safe lifestyle, with common interests such as books, music, walks. I know it may sound judgemental and I have absolutely nothing against nude models per se. WP is a great place to make friends. I have friends here and I'm not autistic but I share common ground with people here as I have autistic friends and students.
I met a man online many years ago. He was so kind and told me his wife had died and he had a small child. He wanted to meet me in Europe and started making up this complex scenario about needing money transferred to some bank to pay for his kids surgery and that he would pay me back. I didn't believe this story and somehow found all kinds of stories on line about this guy, and that actually more than 5 different people had been writing to me pretending to be this same guy. Luckily I only communicated with him on the dating site.
Forgive me for not being trusting but there are so many scammers around.

I am extremely familiar with the different "I need money" scenarios. I have taken a break from online dating because I have gotten them so often after two weeks or less of talking. However I find it hard to judge this woman the OP speaks of based solely on the idea she is a nude model, I have heard no specific details on what she does for fun or what kind of education she has. I have heard of several people whose day job is being on camera actually have graduate degrees.

just

omg

everyone can pretend to be the nicest person
and what is this ? sexworker meeting at night thing
its not a red flag, its flag-parade

thats not a woman at all, i'd say



safety first, yes it's fair

You are more trusting than I, and I envy you for that You are right, there is always the possibility that this lady is absolutely legit and delightful. Nevertheless, I would not allow my autistic daughter and caregiver to meet her, certainly not at night??? . I would make the meet in a cafe in broad daylight with at least 5 family members present if at all.

I didn't get the time of day, I agree some precautions should've taken, though I think dismissing the idea of meeting the woman simply because of her day job is a bit prejudiced. I would prefer to know some more details before making a firm decision about the woman.

Sorry, that was my fault. She enjoys reading, sewing, cakes and tea. She frequently posts pictures of clothes she's made most of which are any other woman would wear.