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chemicalsandotherpeopleswords
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22 Dec 2019, 11:05 pm

Does anyone have any tips on dealing with crushes?

How to act, how to calm one's feelings?

(I am an adult. I am not interested in actually dating at this moment.)


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Lely
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23 Dec 2019, 7:22 am

chemicalsandotherpeopleswords wrote:
Does anyone have any tips on dealing with crushes?

How to act, how to calm one's feelings?

(I am an adult. I am not interested in actually dating at this moment.)


I didn't have a crush in 5 years now, thank goodness. I also hated it to have crushes. I had no idea either what to do against them. Usually the crushes only went away when the guys disappeared from my life, for example changed school, dropped out of uni, graduated from uni. I'm glad I'm not susceptible to that kind of thing anymore. I don't need innecessary problems in my life.

I think I can't get crushes anymore because maybe I grew out of it plus when I first had a boyfriend I simply became disillusioned.



naturalplastic
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23 Dec 2019, 7:40 am

I crush on folks often.

When I crush on a person I know in real life whom, for whatever reason, is not fair game to go after, my mind sorta spontaneously latches to a surrogate person (like a celebrity) to latch onto ease off the ...addiction. Like methadone treatment for heroin addiction. Lol!



Ferrous
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23 Dec 2019, 8:11 am

Ugh, I get crushes awfully. Thankfully some go away if I get to know the guy, I suppose because I see their actual flaws (and in many cases discover incompatible orientation). Annoyingly some don't though, and I'm kind of powerless for those.



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23 Dec 2019, 10:14 am

Distance. If I'm not around them then the crush feeling goes away. Try not to even think about them.



AprilR
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23 Dec 2019, 4:13 pm

Probably not healthy but i try to hate and undermine myself. Like i'm too dirty to even have such thoughts. :?



funeralxempire
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26 Dec 2019, 7:59 pm

AprilR wrote:
Probably not healthy but i try to hate and undermine myself. Like i'm too dirty to even have such thoughts. :?


No, that definitely doesn't sound healthy.
You sound charming, intelligent and level-headed in most of your posts, but even f**ked-up, low-functioning perverts are entitled to have crushes, so I don't imagine your strategy is helpful, let alone healthy.

Personally, I just remind myself I haven't met the person and don't know them, I just like how they present to society and the personality I imagine them to have.

I find it harder when it's a crush that basically 'starts all over again' every time you see the person. There's a woman at work like that, it's been years and I still swoon sometimes at the sight of her, even on bad days.


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28 Dec 2019, 8:08 pm

AprilR wrote:
Probably not healthy but i try to hate and undermine myself. Like i'm too dirty to even have such thoughts. :?


I did this a lot when I was younger, especially when I was in my teens and 20’s.

It was more along the lines of: “He’d never like you, anyway. You’re too...blah, blah, blah.”

Then I’d be very surprised when someone did like me.

Romantic stuff is so confusing.


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