I chose resuccitation... now is he suffering...

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They woke him up on the ventalator, he broke free of his restraint and took the tube out!! ! When he could talk he said he just wanted to die.

They asked me if he was struggling wether to let him pass away or reventalate him. I said "do what you must"

But they did have to reventalate him... Now I'm wondering if I'm just causing suffering and going against his wishes...

They do what they have to. If you chose otherwise, you would have much more to complain about.
Hugs for you

I’m really sorry you’re going through this.

Big-time hugs.....

If you did not sign a “do not resuscitate” order, the doctors/nurses are required to make all effort to keep him alive.

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

He might feel despair in his condition. But he might also get better, too.

Hugs to you Agnix. You’re going through a horribly tough time right now. Kraftiekortie is absolutely right, you did nothing wrong. Indeed your husband may be feeling despair right now. He needs help breathing because, if I remember right, he’s had pneumonia and fluid buildup. If that can be cleared up, who knows ..... He’s conscious and able to communicate. Perhaps the hospital could have a councillor or a minister to talk to him and discuss his future.

If there is any chance his life can get better, he needs to live to have that opportunity. Sorry to be trite, but I am having a rough day: Life is Suffering... and it's still worthwhile.

Sounds like you are doing the best you can for now. Maybe his condition will improve a bit, and then when he is clear-headed you can talk with him about making a living will. I hope things get better for you.

Hugs

WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!! !

Well, could have been worse, but still bad. A nurses note was found this morning and later the nurse confirmed what he said, basically "no more f****** tubes down my throat!"

Anyway so to make sure that's what he wanted they tried to wake him up, but he wasn't very responsive.... They sent in a neurologist and tried to wake him again with same results.

So now they are testing him for menengitis which could be treatable, but tentatively tomorrow morning they are planning to pull the ventalator as he wished.

Virtual hugs, hugs.

Wishing there is something to treat and cure and that this suffering is temporary. If not, I understand you both don't want him to suffer long term.

Hugs, hugs.

Definitely hugs!

I hope they resolve this soon.

I’m really sorry this was that sort of Christmas for you.

I admire your bravery.

Does he clearly understand that if he doesn’t have ventilation he will die? Is his mind clear enough to make such an important decision? If the answer is no, then the medical team would be wrong to do what he says.

Does it have to be a tube down his throat? Can they use a face or nose mask?

Take care. Get rest.

He was wide awake and also said, in Spanish, "I want to sleep" and "end me"

Hispanic people (If he’s Hispanic) tend to be proud. In his condition, he feels like “less of a man” more than some other cultures. That’s why he wants to “end it all.”

Don’t pull the plug if there’s any chance of improvement.

If you feel able, put together a living will or health care proxy. I would do a “do not resuscitate” because that’s his desire.

I read online that it's very typical for patients to not want the ventilator (or other tubes) as it's very intrusive. I read it's used for no more than a week or so. Any test results yet?

I was near death once and just wanted to rest (as opposed to the pain and vomiting). I was ok whether I lived or died. It was out of my control. My case is different in that I was fairly comfortable as long as I didn't move, which I didn't do much of since I was semiconscious. I am sorry your partner is uncomfortable (to say the least).

I wonder how much is physical and/or emotional... both I suspect.

I hope you are finding small ways to replenish yourself during this difficult time.

The neurologist and doctor discovered he became brain damaged... Somehow during his stay at the hospital. They now have him off the ventilator and just oxygen and meds.

I made a hard choice that a couple of my relatives didn't agree with. If he survived the night, the doctor suggested taking him to a hospice care home.

Is he conscious and talking?