Much has been said on the topic of dating as an Asperger male, but I think there is not much said about one's dating reputation. In my own case, being a 30 year old virgin male who has always been single and never had even one girlfriend, I notice that in the past whenever people found out, their opinion of me changed. My reputation was essentially ruined permanently. Whether it was amongst fellow males for friendship, or amongst females for dating/courtship, both usually ended up dropping whatever positive opinions they had about me and it changed to very negative.
As in, in the past, when people asked, and I revealed to them my situation, they would usually gossip amongst others. Word spread like wildfire amongst my social communities, and people usually thought of me as "defective" as a person, viz. a "reject". I did not really care if males did not want to be friends with me because they thought that being friends with a virgin like me was beneath them, but it really hurt when females had in their mind that I was a "reject". It made it hard not only to date the women who knew, it also made it hard to date the other women who found out via third parties (gossip).
As a male with Asperger's how did you fix your dating reputation? I turned 30 in late October this year, and my dating reputation is more or less ruined in this city. I am sure that any women who newly emigrated here might possibly know from gossip from some of my acquaintances. And it seems like when women find out, even if it is unconfirmed gossip, questions seem to raise in their head about my viability as a potential boyfriend given that I am single/virgin this old.
Of course, this does not have anything to do with my own self-esteem. I am raising it by myself. I am referring to my dating reputation as a whole in women's opinions, regardless of how I feel about myself.
25 Dec 2019, 7:50 pm
