When I was 12, I started to become resentful of the fact that both of my older siblings have severe autism. I even told one of my paras that year that I was an only child. It didn’t help that my sister was traumatized by my many meltdowns that I had between ages 9-12(my brother moved into a group home when I was 9, so he didn’t have to deal with it as much. My sister moved I into another group home when I was 15)and that I sometimes said things in front of both of them that were insensitive. I know to this day my sister is still bugged by it because just last night she was at the house with my dad and I and she was like “(name), go upstairs”.
After I moved to a different school after 6th and became a different person, having siblings with autism didn’t bother me as much. I was caught up in teenage aspie things. But I wasn’t involved in their lives. I didn’t talk about my siblings with anyone outside of my family. I went to their houses on an occasion, but I didn’t care as much as I could’ve. Somehow this has never bothered me until recently, but here we are.
Recently, I’ve started to feel some regret of having not had a sibling relationship with them for a very long time. I gave my brother a hug earlier today.
After all these years, I’m finally starting to warm up to them.
26 Dec 2019, 12:04 am
