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Triumph Ade
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Location: West Sussex - UK

11 Jan 2020, 12:39 pm

Hi,

I'm 53 and am currently waiting on a diagnosis assessment for ASD having seem my GP and got a referral.
I am aware this may take a significant period of time.
Up until 3 weeks ago I had no idea I may be on the spectrum and was just me, just different.
I scored 43 in the AQ test and 158 in the Aspie quiz.

My wife didn't know/wasn't aware really but managed a 3 page script on my traits related to DSM5 when she read the criteria and now has no doubt.

My question is, I am now struggling with matching what I thought I knew about myself and how the world is, with the growing realisation that most everything I thought to be normal was in fact not.
Does anybody else have experience of this late a diagnosis and the adjustment period needed?

I apologize in advance if the wording I'm using is misplaced here - it's a new vocabulary on the spectrum it seems.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 158 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 45 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Dear_one
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13 Jan 2020, 2:19 am

Welcome. When I found out I fit this group, I had already been trying to understand what made my family different for 15 years, so it was more like a comprehensible new world. The other great lesson I still needed was to understand that my EQ is less than half my IQ, and so I'd been overestimating the logical abilities of sociable people. I had a lot of changes going in my life around then, but I don't think much of the strangeness was from the AS revelation. After sorting things out, I'm just more realistic about my list of aptitudes.



JPER1980
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13 Jan 2020, 5:54 am

I was 38 when I got a diagnosis. My experience has been that the diagnosis itself was not that helpful, but that the time I spent learning about myself (in preparation to talking to my GP and for the meeting with the people that made the diagnosis) was incredibly helpful.

For me the whole thing has felt very much like a process which has given me the chance to become more aware of who I am (something I've never spent much time thinking about before). In the year since the diagnosis I've been looking at myself and thinking more clearly about what I find easy/hard. I've also been a bit more realistic about how I will be in different situations and generally been a bit kinder to myself.

It would not be unusual to take a quite a long time to adjust to getting a diagnosis, and there really is no rush.



timf
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13 Jan 2020, 10:17 am

The consideration of Aspergers can do a lot to help one put some of thew mysteries one has experienced in life into perspective. Early consideration can lead one to encounter information that might be distorted or incorrect. Also with anything that has biological variability, one can expect that not everything will manifest in an individual the same way.

My sister had been a special education teacher and I once asked her if she had ever heard of Aspergers. Her response was rather dismissive, that Aspergers was only found in children who wouldn't look you in the eye.

You might want to use caution sharing a label that is so often misunderstood by others.

The Tony Attwood videos on Youtube can be helpful. Also there is a free pdf booklet (Apsergers - An Intentional Life) you can down load here;

http://christianpioneer.com/blogarchiev ... e_2017.pdf



Jakki
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13 Jan 2020, 10:19 am

Triumph Ade wrote:
Hi,

I'm 53 and am currently waiting on a diagnosis assessment for ASD having seem my GP and got a referral.
I am aware this may take a significant period of time.
Up until 3 weeks ago I had no idea I may be on the spectrum and was just me, just different.
I scored 43 in the AQ test and 158 in the Aspie quiz.

My wife didn't know/wasn't aware really but managed a 3 page script on my traits related to DSM5 when she read the criteria and now has no doubt.

My question is, I am now struggling with matching what I thought I knew about myself and how the world is, with the growing realisation that most everything I thought to be normal was in fact not.
Does anybody else have experience of this late a diagnosis and the adjustment period needed?

I apologize in advance if the wording I'm using is misplaced here - it's a new vocabulary on the spectrum it seems.


diagnosed late in life , it gave cause to reason of my life experience ..really gave me pause.. and stifled my,anger...as to the treatment by me , by society.

mere fact that idio t doctors did not see the obvious very long ago .over ten years of therapy no one had a clue.. finally went to a specialist .. cause my suspicions were very high . she confirmed it. it gave understanding but not relief . my social quotient is prolly pretty off.. but repeatedly demonstrated some unusual talents .. that would be directly to correlating to a very high iQ.
Which all but useless if you cannot make the rest of your life work. and dealing with physical issues as well. jobs never lasted more than 2 yrs..unless i worked for myself at my pace, and maintained a high expectation of myself. dealing with people from business point of veiw bcame easier than normal social stuff.


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JohnInWales
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13 Jan 2020, 12:37 pm

I finally got my diagnosis in August last year, aged 63. I'm still waiting for the written report and follow up appointment, although I've been promised I'll have the report by the end of this month. It's 8½ years since I started to work out I may have it, and 5 years since I was put on the waiting list for an assessment. The first assessment was a disaster, as it said I had "features of autism", "features of avoidant personality disorder" and "low mood", but didn't score enough points to get a diagnosis of anything. I took the prescribed drugs for 18 months, and did the course "that I might find a few bits of helpful", but couldn't accept the result, however much I tried. A new autism service was launched in Wales last April, and when I contacted them I was immediately offered a new assessment. The person who did the new assessment did the initial interview the first time, but the actual diagnosis was done by someone else, and she told me she had disagreed with it at the time. So she had to make very sure before changing the result. I'm currently on the waiting list for support, that may start soon, or may not, as the service seems to be overwhelmed by the amount of people they are seeing.

I'd never though of myself as being different. I had a problem with "nerves" from when I was quite young, and had depression at times. I've been observing and analysing myself over the last 5 years, and spotted lots of things that I've read can be features of autism, but often not as strongly as other people describe them. So they could have been features of some other condition, or things that neurotypicals struggle with at times. Getting the diagnosis means that if I recognise something about me that's described as a feature of autism, it's most likely due to me actually being autistic, which makes a huge difference, as everything is much clearer. The problem is that I've always been like this, and considered myself "normal", so even though I've lived around NTs for over 60 years I've no idea how they are different to me, but they must be, or I'd wouldn't be different to them! After a couple of weeks of celebrating the result, it's been downhill since, as I struggle to get through this with no support, and wait for the report.

It's now sinking in how much damage has been done, and how much I've missed out on without realising it. I seem to have been filling in many of the missing parts of my life in my imagination, and now I know that it's very upsetting, as it's far too late to experience many of the things that haven't happened.

What made things worse is that when I was 50 I had what I thought of at the time as a midlife crisis, and saw various counsellors and other people, who all encouraged me to "think positive" and "go out of my comfort zone". So I did, totally believing I was well on the way to being cured of whatever had been troubling me all my life, and got into the biggest mess I've ever been in, that I can't get out of without help that I haven't been able to find. Looking back, it must have been an autistic meltdown, as I was under quite a lot of stress at the time. It's resulted in me becoming almost totally isolated, with no friends or family to support me, and those are the people I need to help get me out of this situation.

What amazes me is how many married people discover they're autistic late in life. I have no understanding of how they have managed to make a strong enough connection to anyone to get married! I've always assumed it would happen to me, and I was just unlucky not to have met the right person, and it's only now that I realise that isn't the reason.



Triumph Ade
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Joined: 11 Jan 2020
Age: 54
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Location: West Sussex - UK

13 Jan 2020, 3:12 pm

Thank you all for replying and sharing your experiences.

I'm spending most of my spare time researching about ASD, trying to learn all I can, all the time wondering is this me even though the empirical data stacks up that way. I'm reading a Tony Attwood book at the moment.

I have zero intention of disclosing anything to anyone around me, other than my wife, about my suspicions and from what I can gather a great many people on here have bad experiences when doing so.

I am really just hoping for a lot more understanding of self - I find I am now scrutinising my interactions with others and how I behave physically when I have never done so before. I know I have all the time it takes to try and work this out but at the moment I'm obsessing over the need to know.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 158 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 45 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


JohnInWales
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Joined: 19 Aug 2015
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 94
Location: Wales

13 Jan 2020, 3:38 pm

I found Tony Attwood's "Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" very helpful. I must re-read it now I have my diagnosis.
Also "Living Well on the Spectrum" by Valerie Gauss. I must re-read that too!
And "Very late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome" by Philip Wylie. I've re-read that since my diagnosis and found it helpful.