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equestriatola
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12 Jan 2020, 7:07 pm

Hey, guys. Something has been troubling me. A friend of mine who I will not say his name (now ex-friend), blocked me on Facebook for something I didn't do: Flirting with one of her female friends, when in reality, I didn't really talk to her too much, just talked about some of the things we both like. And then This guy's friend tells these damn lies about how I'm a bad person, how I'm copying him, et al. UGH! This guy's friend said that I don't know what I'm doing, also thinks I need help, SHUT UP! I blocked this friend of his as well for telling me these lies. It should be worth mentioning this friend of my ex-friend has never met me in person, so he is making stuff about little he knows about me. X(

Guys..... do you have any words for me here? I need you more than ever. This is just stupid, what this guy told me.


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Summer_Twilight
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14 Jan 2020, 8:26 am

Ok I am confused as your story is a little hard to follow
1. First, you talked about a friend who dumped you which you mentioned "He"
2. Second, you said "Her friends,"
3. Third, you said "This guy's friend."

Could you clarify?

Second, people who lie about others like that often do so for one of the following reasons
1. He could be lying about you because he is jealous of your friendship and wants to eliminate you so he can have that friend to himself
2. He could be lying because he doesn't want you to have any friends because he dislikes you
3. He could be by lying just to get attention
4. He could be lying because he has an antisocial personality disorder

I think it's okay to confront him by asking why he is spreading lies about you and that he needs to stop because his behavior can cause serious damage and that you are not okay with it.



equestriatola
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14 Jan 2020, 4:31 pm

^ I was referring to my ex-friend. The guy who spread these lies about me was a friend of an ex-friend.

And thank you for the advice. I blocked this dotard after he said those lies.


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Summer_Twilight
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20 Jan 2020, 10:02 am

I have associated with quite a few liars myself who I thought were my friends. Thing is though, people who often lie about you will have the habit of doing so to others.

Examples -
1. Back in Jr High and High school, there was a guy who I thought was my friend next to having a crush on him. I found out that he had been lying about me to other people. In fact, I listened to him on a phone conversation with another friend who called him to find out whether he was lying. He said some pretty horrible things too. However, I soon learned he is one of those people who acted as a friend to your face and then would twist the truth and cause all kinds of trouble for them.

- He told me one time that another classmate was pregnant which was not the truth

2. 10 years ago, I worked with someone who was also like that but her lying was more intense. In her case, not only would she stab you in the back and lie about you, she lied to get out of things and about things that made no sense as if they were real. I used to think she was a sociopath because she was good at manipulating you with her emotions but I think she has BPD myself. In the end, she went on a "Two-week vacation" that turned into a whole month. Then she came back, and after the first two days, she quit on the third morning by lying her way out the door.



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20 Jan 2020, 10:45 am

In the Navy, there was one other petty officer who tried to take credit for my every accomplishment, and even for training me in electronics. She got credit for one of my ideas, so I set a trap for her by writing out a report in Star Trek techno-babble, and leaving this 'draft' in my mail slot while I went on break.

Sure enough, when I came back, the chief was chewing her out for the 'crap' she was writing. I played dumb and pretended to have no idea what was going on. This happened a few more times before the chief caught on. He gave her a royal chewing-out in front of everybody, and quietly told me to keep my stories out of the workspace. End of problem.

Moral: Feed the liars enough crap and they'll eventually choke themselves on it.


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GiantHockeyFan
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20 Jan 2020, 1:09 pm

Fnord wrote:
Moral: Feed the liars enough crap and they'll eventually choke themselves on it.[/color]


I did something similar in elementary school: I was known as the Geography whiz so many 'friends' tried to cheat and pass off my work. One report in particular was about provincial capitals so I wrote Alberta is Calgary, New Brunswick is Moncton and Ontario is Ottawa before quietly correcting it later. Amazing how many students got it wrong!

I am pretty much used to it now. I grew up with a pathological liar and many of my 'friends' were also pathological liars and people always ate up their ridiculous stories without the least bit of skepticism.



Whale_Tuune
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22 Jan 2020, 3:35 pm

So is it your (ex) guy friend who was upset that he thought you were "flirting" with his (female) friend? If so, he might have feelings for her and was acting like a territorial as*hole. Not worth your time.

Dealing with toxic, shitty friends happens to the best of us. Just move on and don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sorry you're going through this, though.


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Whale_Tuune
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22 Jan 2020, 3:37 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Moral: Feed the liars enough crap and they'll eventually choke themselves on it.[/color]


I did something similar in elementary school: I was known as the Geography whiz so many 'friends' tried to cheat and pass off my work. One report in particular was about provincial capitals so I wrote Alberta is Calgary, New Brunswick is Moncton and Ontario is Ottawa before quietly correcting it later. Amazing how many students got it wrong!

I am pretty much used to it now. I grew up with a pathological liar and many of my 'friends' were also pathological liars and people always ate up their ridiculous stories without the least bit of skepticism.


Same! In late middle school/early high school my best friend told outlandish lies. It was so normal that I didn't think anything of it (although I was aware how bs they were). Later came to find out that no one besides me seemed to realize that she was lying....people are so weird like that.


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22 Jan 2020, 4:23 pm

I've had this kind of odd behaviour happen to me on Facebook. I've been friends on Facebook with a guy I knew since college, and he got a girlfriend just last year, and she made him unfriend me just because I wished him a happy birthday. I think that is so childish, just because a female talks to a male on Facebook it doesn't mean anything is going on. I'm engaged to a man and we're both in my profile picture together, it's obvious that I'm already taken and that I have no interest in dating my male friends.


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Whale_Tuune
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22 Jan 2020, 4:44 pm

It's so strange how insecure some folk can get. :roll:


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Summer_Twilight
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31 Jan 2020, 11:57 am

Whale_Tuune wrote:
So is it your (ex) guy friend who was upset that he thought you were "flirting" with his (female) friend? If so, he might have feelings for her and was acting like a territorial as*hole. Not worth your time.

Dealing with toxic, shitty friends happens to the best of us. Just move on and don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sorry you're going through this, though.


I will second what she says because these kinds of people do fade out of your life. However, there will be a time when you have to work through the impact they left on you. Over time, their effect on you will eventually wear off as you get to meet new people and get involved in new things.



GiantHockeyFan
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04 Feb 2020, 7:56 am

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Same! In late middle school/early high school my best friend told outlandish lies. It was so normal that I didn't think anything of it (although I was aware how bs they were). Later came to find out that no one besides me seemed to realize that she was lying....people are so weird like that.


My brother tells some real doozies like once mentioning how he saw a dead child being pulled out of the public pool in his neighborhood. What was amazing was that I presented overwhelming evidence that it never happened and an almost identical drowning did happen years ago to an adult everyone still believed him and were angry at ME for trying to discredit a traumatic story.

I also had a friend in elementary school who told some lies that escalated into ridiculous tales such as:
* He drank a six pack of beer as a toddler and never even got drunk.
* He hitchhiked as a child across the country
* He once took down a whole bunch of adult men in a bar fight (I could actually believe he was capable of that, just not that adults would "fight him")
* He has gone up to four days with eating or drinking anything (when he looked like a sumo wrestler)

Even as naïve as I was by this point I was highly skeptical of his "stories". I honestly don't know if the other kids really believed him or were just scared of him. On the plus side, at least I benefitted from nobody laying a finger on me for an entire year! He was a good friend in spite of this until his family moved away.
Joe90 wrote:
I think that is so childish, just because a female talks to a male on Facebook it doesn't mean anything is going on.

I've never understood this. Even as a married man I have been in single women's houses alone (once for dinner) and even was near one who was nearly completely undressed in a hockey dressing room. I don't see how that is any different if they were male or I was single. My facebook is probably 70-80% female although they are probably more interested in pictures of my baby boy.

I am getting way off topic but let me mention that I firmly believe that one of the reasons I could never make friends in High School was that a very sadistic and sociopathic person was spreading ridiculous lies about me because I stood up to him. I can't prove it but it would make sense why I was suddenly treated like I had leprosy. I do know one of them was that I was gay (which back then was like calling someone a pedophile today) so that become a vicious cycle. This same sociopath was capable of giving an anti-bullying and anti-violence speech over lunch and without missing a beat could stab someone in the back in the afternoon and be considered the victim! It was surreal to watch how easily he could fool people.



Summer_Twilight
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09 Feb 2020, 12:10 pm

[quote="GiantHockeyFan"][quote="Whale_Tuune"]

I also had a friend in elementary school who told some lies that escalated into ridiculous tales such as:
* He drank a six pack of beer as a toddler and never even got drunk.
* He hitchhiked as a child across the country
* He once took down a whole bunch of adult men in a bar fight (I could actually believe he was capable of that, just not that adults would "fight him")
* He has gone up to four days with eating or drinking anything (when he looked like a sumo wrestler)

:lol: That's funny.

I have written about my childhood friend on several occasions who lied all the time herself about things that were not true.

She tried to convince me that
Her dog was really a girl and new puppies who were "Just born."
Her real mother had died and she had been adopted
Some lifeguards pushed her down the water slide and nearly caused her to drown

I have also talked about a married couple who I used to be friends while I attended their place of worship for a while.
Long story short he and his wife treated me like a piece of trash after I decided their congregation was not the best fit for me. Well, I found out some time go that he is not only extremely abusive but also lies all the time.

For example-
A job offer fell through because the woman had a hernia and needed last-minute surgery before dropping the ball and disappearing

The apartment he found them fell through due to last-minute "Glitch," which the lease got lost. Their lease on their house expired and he kept them in that house, down to the last day.