Public Transit driver here.
Last year was my first year doing so.
Previously driven large rigs and ambulances.
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If you've been driving professionally for 20 years, you should know that these things do happen.
Most often... nothing comes of it i.e. no accident, no parties physically involved.
Just like my running 2 stop signs last year... after driving the exact same route for many months.
In speaking with other drivers from my service and a neighboring city service I kept hearing, "s**t happens! I did this too." or "So-and-so had the same thing happen...".
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I've been in mva's involving the ambulance I was in... as the non-driver... but part of the watch up front, none-the-less.
I've witnessed other professional, long-term, competent drivers have these accidents with no explanation other than, "It just happened!".
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Back to you...
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You've gone 20 years without this sort of thing happening. Kudos to you! Seriously!
No one died. That's good news.
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Once you bring yourself down to a calmer state... which I hope you can do in short order... you can properly assess what went wrong and what you can learn from this experience.
Humans are not perfect... none of us.
If you have to go in for an interview/review board try, calmly-as-you-can, to gather yourself first and do that personal review.
If you can obtain any witness statements, the other driver's statement, etc do so and take all this information in as a learning exercise.
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Bashing yourself now will do no one anything positive. It may be really difficult to turn off the negative voice... but it's paramount you figure out how to do so.
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Going into any review board, you need to be confident, apologetic (but not overly so), and realistic about why this happened, and what you plan on doing to prevent it from ever happening again.
I'm not saying this will keep you from being sacked... but it just might.
I realize I'm in the US and you're in the UK... so different societies and all.. but I would imagine a bit of confidence from you about this incident could benefit you in a hearing and also in your private life as well.
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In the end... you have to decide to invest in healing from this, or go down the path of self-destruction... please choose the former.
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Lastly...
I wonder if you have access to statistics on bus driver-caused accidents? Or accidents caused by any professional driver?
You might find you are not an anomaly here.
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I really hope you can pick yourself up from this.
Roads around the world are busier than ever before... and not just from other vehicles... pedestrians, signage, worsening road conditions, etc.
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