I crashed my bus yesterday at work

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I dont know whats wrong with me yesterday but I didnt pay attention to a red traffic light and I went through and crashed into the side of a van
luckily i wasnt hurt and the van driver wasnt hurt either but some passengers were hurt and they had to be taken to the hospital

Iv been a bus driver for over 20 years and this is the first time this happened to me but i had a meltdown

Im now suspended til this gets sorted I hope i wont get sacked over this im in a worried state and had a meltdown im finding it hard to talk even to my husband and son
things arent good.

I'm so sorry, Caz, that this happened to you.

This sort of thing happens to many bus drivers. Even those who are not autistic. Even excellent drivers.

You are not a bad person because of this. You are not an inadequate person.

I hope everything turns out well.

I'm glad nobody was seriously hurt.

Caz needs our help.

Caz. Do you have a social worker or therapist you could talk to?

I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope things get worked out and you're able to resume your work after your suspension.

Hang in there!

Is there a bus-driver great-long-term-driving-record-one-accident support group? Do you know other drivers that have recovered from accidents?

Hugs!

Very sorry you are going through this... The same thing happened to me about 5 years ago, though it wasn't work related. It is very upsetting.

Public Transit driver here.
Last year was my first year doing so.
Previously driven large rigs and ambulances.
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If you've been driving professionally for 20 years, you should know that these things do happen.
Most often... nothing comes of it i.e. no accident, no parties physically involved.
Just like my running 2 stop signs last year... after driving the exact same route for many months.
In speaking with other drivers from my service and a neighboring city service I kept hearing, "s**t happens! I did this too." or "So-and-so had the same thing happen...".
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I've been in mva's involving the ambulance I was in... as the non-driver... but part of the watch up front, none-the-less.
I've witnessed other professional, long-term, competent drivers have these accidents with no explanation other than, "It just happened!".
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Back to you...
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You've gone 20 years without this sort of thing happening. Kudos to you! Seriously!
No one died. That's good news.
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Once you bring yourself down to a calmer state... which I hope you can do in short order... you can properly assess what went wrong and what you can learn from this experience.
Humans are not perfect... none of us.
If you have to go in for an interview/review board try, calmly-as-you-can, to gather yourself first and do that personal review.
If you can obtain any witness statements, the other driver's statement, etc do so and take all this information in as a learning exercise.
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Bashing yourself now will do no one anything positive. It may be really difficult to turn off the negative voice... but it's paramount you figure out how to do so.
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Going into any review board, you need to be confident, apologetic (but not overly so), and realistic about why this happened, and what you plan on doing to prevent it from ever happening again.
I'm not saying this will keep you from being sacked... but it just might.
I realize I'm in the US and you're in the UK... so different societies and all.. but I would imagine a bit of confidence from you about this incident could benefit you in a hearing and also in your private life as well.
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In the end... you have to decide to invest in healing from this, or go down the path of self-destruction... please choose the former.
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Lastly...
I wonder if you have access to statistics on bus driver-caused accidents? Or accidents caused by any professional driver?
You might find you are not an anomaly here.
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I really hope you can pick yourself up from this.
Roads around the world are busier than ever before... and not just from other vehicles... pedestrians, signage, worsening road conditions, etc.

Wsmac offers good advice.

Stick to the facts when they interview you.

Don’t give up.

You are not a bad or defective person. This sort of thing has happened to even the best drivers.

Don't back off from going through the process.

I hope you come back and talk to us.

I have had little tiny accidents before like a scratch on the side of the bus or something but this is the worst ive ever had it was awful cos there were people injured one woman broke her nose and the police arrived to interrogate and give me checks

I be ok my husband will attend the meeting with me.

thanks for the replies .

You had nothing drug or alcohol-related in your system; you will be okay in that aspect.

I'm glad your husband is coming with you.

Thanks for coming back and talking to us.

Sorry to hear what's happened, Caz. As KK wrote, Wsmac offers very good advice. Humans have accidents and these things happen. Sorry to hear some people were injured, but glad to hear it wasn't much worse. You'll get through this, and so glad your husband's so supportive. {{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}

Iv had an urgent eye test today but I passed the eye test meaning I dont need glasses,
so I can take that information with me too the meeting

theres not much I can do until the meeting which is this friday morning then they go from there but my husband reckons I wont be sacked also the boss understands my autism

yes my husband is very supportive

I want to say Thank You, for sharing all this with us.
Whether it was easy to do so or not, it's all very personal, yet I believe others can learn something positive from this as well.
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Remember... people who are NOT diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers/ADHD also have the same types of accidents.
My personal feeling is to mention one's diagnosis when and where applicable, but do not lean on it too heavily.
At some point in my many mistakes in life, I've not only brought up my diagnosis, but also gone on to just plain take responsibility aside from that.
You're an adult and well experienced in the world... so I hope you don't think I'm lecturing you or that I don't think you can figure all this out yourself.
My purpose for bringing this up is just as a reminder, considering what all you might have on your mind this week in addition to the upcoming hearing.
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From the few posts you have made on this so far, sounds like you can handle it, so I'm betting on a positive outcome for you!

Good about boss understanding ASD.

Do you respond to situation like this more "typically", or not? If so, wow. If not, will you mention ASD (not related to the accident, but rather related to your testimony) or something similar, "I may seem [this way] but am actually feeling [this way]." I think it's hard b/c most ASD don't respond as NTs expect (and so NTs make negative assumptions). This has caused problems for myself (a couple times) and my AS-like sister. For example, I am either overly calm or smiling(!) when upset and trying to emotionally regulate. Both throw off NTs.

In any case, wishing you well during this difficult time.